In this case isn't the double standard working the other way ?if it were a man he would be strung up .. but she is being treated leniently because she is a woman .. you cant have it both ways. Yes, and thats what I'm against. Adults be male or female shouldn't mess with kids :mad: . like che said .. there is no case here 16 is ok for a young man (emphasis on the man part) He is 15 and even he was 16, his 26 year old teacher(someone who is 11years his senior and has authority ) shouldn't be having any kind of sex(be consentual or not) with him :rolleyes: :eek: . Guys should stop romanticising child molestation in the cases of female predators. And NO he is not a MAN, he is just a little boy :rolleyes:

Oh, the double standards! I bet if a man was acused of molesting a 15year old girl we would all get outraged but men high five each other when little boys get molested by their female teachers. It is disgusting!

Morning ladies. Our world and personal space is getting smaller and smaller, Walaalhi. My friends are addicted to FB. They are always on it, practically hyperventilating everytime they receive a message on that wall thing. It is like an advanced gossip community. They're always presuring me to open one and I'm like, no thanks. Dont wanna join this traveling circus.

Today, I'm fully awake and ready to take on the world!(untill the coffe wears off).

You could've warned me :mad: :mad: I was eating forgod's sake. So he didnt know how else to tell her without cutting into his flesh? I once seen a girl do that but she was a bit of a nut. Then when they broke up she had to remove the scar which proved to be difficult since she cut into the flesh with sizzling kichten knife. :eek: :eek:

Is that way you decided to break-up or separate with the fiancee? and how do you handle his women stalkers? Salaam gabdho, At first, I didn’t realize they were a huge factor but the more I thought about my situation the more I realized that my fiancée has been nothing but supportive and loyal. He kept asking me to mention one thing he’s done wrong and there was none in the years I’ve been with him. But I got a bit tired of them females calling non-stop (like 50 times a day) day and night :mad: , leaving odd messages about this and that, dropping in on his house :eek: ( this females are his former roomate’s girlfriend’s friends)pretending to be looking for the roommate who’s moved out the house. There is this one girl whom I believe to be mentally challenged because one day she literally grabbed his arm in front of me and his mother at a mall full of Somali people and his sister has to wrestle him from her. She keeps sending him weird pictures of herself, keeps sending him gifts and she used to routinely stop at his house in the morning on her way to work until he told the building security to not let her in. If there is anything I hate in this world it is nac-nac and silly fights over a man :eek: :eek: . But this was a strange experience. I have been yelled at, cursed at, threatened and for what? I’m like "Listen,you barely know him; I’ve been with him forever! Plus he chose to be with me. Believe me if he wanted to be with you, he would be". I never knew Somali females could be this psychotic. If anyone told me this happened to them I would tell them to stop lying! How do I deal with them? I dont really acknowledge their existance unless they're face to face with me and then I have him tell them that he is not interested.They hate the fact that I dont make big deal out of them. And why should I? He is with me because he wants to be .Now, he changed his number and he is moving out of that forsaken flat. And we are working things out .

A big No-No in my book, wouldn’t even look at them. Married and engaged men are off limits! Seriously, I find it disgusting when women go after another woman’s man :eek: . There are plenty of men out there, leave the taken ones alone. Ugghh, my fiancée has a lot of stalkers. I personally heard this chick say she is happy to be his second wife or girlfriend or whatever :eek: :eek: . You have no idea what this does to men. They develop a sense of sick self-obsession that destroys perfectly good relationships. A friend of mine’s cousin is a womanizer. He is not even remotely good looking but he gets hot females to marry him. A mutual friend of ours developed an obsession with him while he was married. We told her to leave him alone, but they secretly got married and she quietly moved to another city. Get this, a year later he got a third wife who started to take up ALL his time and she is dumbfounded to learn this. Now she is jealous. And am like you gotta be kidding me! You mean to tell me that you thought he was going to be with you while he cheated on his wife by courting you and then marrying you behind her back? Puhleasssse! If a man talks to you while he married, be prepared to share his skinny ***!

Ibti I live in Minnesota, the land of immigrants and weirdo’s. I think the attraction has more to do with attitude and style than qalanjonimo. A male co-worker once told me that ( after a harassment incident with a white co-worker) I’m the type that men obsess with because poor guys can’t tell whether I despise them or secretly in love with them so they’ll do anything to get attention and figure out what the deal is :confused: .” Men are egotistical creatures. They despise to be ignored :rolleyes: . maybe a niqab and big big jalabib will do the trick Since I started wearing shaalal I’m doing a lot better. damn girl. wachya name" C&H Neph, I hate, hate the way they say "wachya name", makes them sound so uneducated :eek: . Scorpian, Little cyber stalking never hurt anyone sis

Hello girls! It is another boring day in the office. Sadly, I'm every man's type :rolleyes: , Black, white, Asian, young, old. Thank god for my car, I used to get molested in the subways :eek: Oromos are the worst. They just grin at me and keep talking to me in their language untill I lose my cool :mad: :mad: Black men follow me arround asking me what I'm mixed with . And older Somali men just stare while the younger crowd holler their usual "damn girl. wachya name" This used to frustrate me because I'm not friendly at all. I dont smile, I don't reply to their comments and that attracts them more :mad: :mad:

Another troubling trend among some Somali women is 'revenge sex.' They sleep with their used-to- be-best friend's husband as a way of evening the score. Waaba iskugu dhaartaan, 'Hadaanan ninka ka cunin naag ma ihi.' Pathetic, walle! Uf! Disgusting! And the husbands are there for the ride I suppose. :eek: :eek: :eek:

It is amazing how people [women] can be so small minded sometimes. That is soo true. A similar thing happened to me a while ago. I had a male friend whose cousin was in town for a vacation. I met the cousin because he stalked me after I said mere welcome over the phone one night. My friend and I took him out to dinner before he left. Fate would have it that my cousin who is from the same city as him was getting married. I went to the wedding, met him at the wedding and went my separate way. When I got back, the stalking started again :mad: ( this time over the phone). I didn’t think much of it, didn’t care and didn’t even know if he was with someone. I used to pretty much ignore his calls :rolleyes: . Then I used to get strange calls and messages in the middle of the night about ruining people’s lives. It was pretty weird. I thought the woman had the wrong number since she wouldnt say who she was talking about. Fast forward, a year later my best friend tells me that the dude was with a girl whom he broke up with right before the wedding. He allegedly told everyone in his city that I was interested in him. The female heard the rumor or he rather told her that a fine girl was “running after him.” She allegedly stalked him, got back with him (or rather took him from me, in her tiny brain) and married him all in the same breath. She had a baby a year later and got divorced right after the delivery of the baby . Poor girl! I wish I could knock some sense into some of these girls. If you can’t hold on to him, let him go. No man is worth all that trouble, I say.

Disgusting!! She was raped and then, stoned to pieces for it and was called Islamic. How utterly disgusting. I wanna cry.

There is another thread here about this topic and as I commented in there, this is Pathetic, cowardly and most of all a WITCH HUNT!! :rolleyes: Why is it that when these so-called wadaado take over a city, they immedietly start enslaving and excuting women? How come in all the stoning cases we have seen, the men are never held accountable? I'm not a buying the "she came to repent so we stoned her to death" argument :rolleyes: :rolleyes: because we have heard these kinds of arguments before. When the woman came, was she in her right mind, did she bring witnesses, where was man she was involved with? Who authorized the excution, and what creditentials do they have? These are thugz and cowards hiding under false ideals :mad: :mad: This issue is multilayered. First, we need to address what the Sharia law says about adultery. Should someone be stonned for adultery, we need four healthy walking and breathing beings to witness the act taking place. And all parties involved need to get punished. Secondly, there has to be an officialy elected Islamic state and Ulima's presiding over such matters. Random people cannot form an "Islamic court" and excute people :eek: :eek: .

Walaal, I understand your anger and frustration with this so-called Wadaado practicing outright execution. My heart sinks every time I hear about one of those instances where a poor woman is put to death. It is an utter witch hunt :mad: . Two questions come to my mind whenever I read or hear about such tragedies: first, why do they execute only the woman :rolleyes: ? I swear I never heard of a man who was stoned to death for zina. And second, who put these people in charge? There has to be an official, active Islamic government that is elected before people can commit such acts. Some primitive cultures need to be thrown and shunned and really stoning was done in the stone ages. By the way, everyone interprets religion to their own advantage and understanding. However, I don’t agree with some of your views. “Everyone doesn’t interpret religion to their own advantages.” Allah protects his word and we go by the word of Allah which is the Quran. I agree that some people abuse the privilege of having knowledge by tipping the truth slightly for their own ambitions but Allah will deal with them. But you must not call Islamic practices primitive. In Islam this practice is legal but there are conditions to fulfill. Even the Prophet (ppuh) shied away from practicing this kind of killing because it is hard to prove it. So walaalo your anger is understandable, but Plz don't transgress againts your Diin.

Hi Folks! Thanks to all of you who responded kindly. First of all, my dilemma is not how to go through a break-up. Would the new people read the post carefully plz. My question was why people pretend that they can get over someone faster than lightning when it is other people’s pain but when it is them, they act different. And how come it is considered CEEB to talk about such pain? ^^ If a break up involves tears it most likely means you got dumped. Life is like that sometimes. now, that's an outrageous claim Uncle. If you have read the post throughly you would know that I initiated a seperation trial and I'm surprised at how much hurt I feel. Rayaana, Thanks Hon.

Hi everyone (waves in a pageant like manner ). Thanks to all of you who took the time to respond. I posted this topic to find real honest answers about this topic. I learned that us Somali girls have a hard time exposing our true feelings to even close friends in fear of being judged as weak or desperate. I never believed in love until I fell in love in High school. And when that love was over, I felt like crawling under a rock and praying for sweet death but I got through it with my sanity in tact. However, my trust in another human being was gone. Then I went through a brief period of carelessness and I broke many undeserving hearts (sadly, I was in the mood for cold revenge ). And I said never, ever, never again will I fall for a man. And then it happened. I fell madly in love. I had a long-term wonderful relationship/engagement with a wonderful guy but when I graduated this year and things needed to be settled I was surprised to learn that things may have not been as wonderful as I thought. I thought about calling the whole thing off. But I didn’t count on the agony and the pure devastation I felt inside after I requested a trial separation to “think things over.” But what angered me the most was the fact that I couldn’t discuss my pain with my girlfriends because they didn’t think I should be a heartbroken or sad over a guy :confused: ! So I pretended and pretended, laughed at their silly jokes, joined when they made fun of men and dismissed my pain even though all along :mad: :mad: , I knew that they were playing a role too. Because deep down, they knew that it hurt. They knew that you can pretend to be strong but it would hurt inside. Get together, break up, move on to another. If you truly wanna get over from break up, get togother with another. It works. This never worked for me dear. After break ups, it is a struggle to avoid going on a killing spree on the male species. They say pain isn't love, the pain must stem from somewhere else masking it self as pain out of loving someone, it could be one is hurt by the rejection,abandonment, loneliness and anger at themselves. SO true. It is more than losing love.

Hi girls! First of all Happy Late EID MUBARAK! I hope you all had a wonderful EID. My friends and are were talking about the subject of break-ups the other day. And most of them completely dismissed the pain and agony one goes through after breaking up with someone they truly loved for one reason or another :rolleyes: . Now, most of us have been through rough break ups and I know most of my friends were devastated when that happened even though it was hard for them to admit that they missed the person or that still hoped things to work out. It was always like “he is just a man or there are better ones out there” which never really explored the issue or offered any comfort to the person who was suffering. So my question is, have you ever felt a devastating loss after a break up? Now, girls I know we were raised to never cry for a man but who are we kidding? Please share your story if you feel comfortable and be honest. I will be back later to share mine.

Today, I'm sad for the 20year old boy who was shot on the head infront of a community center by another somali boy. He was just 20, a student at a college near by and didnt even live in the neighborhood. He came to volunteer and give something back to his people. I'm sad for his mother and his family, but most of all I'm sad for my people.

Don't marry for combatability or status. Looks arent everything and butterflies do go away however,if you'rnot attracted to him(his personality, sense of humor, values, education, manners) then for God's sake DON'T. This is a life-changing decision and you don't want to regret it 1,2,3or 10years from now. Choose wisely and dont worry about time.

I understand no one is perfect and not everyone might get lucky and marry someone they love but to demean marriage life and the role of a husband to a ‘ decent guy who takes out the trash and sets up the baby gear, and he provides a second income that allows you to spend time with your child instead of working 60 hours a week to support a family on your own—how much does it matter whether the guy you marry is The One? ’ is totally pathetic. It is not about sharing your life with someone, rather it is about her own needs. She is trying to convince herself that the bad choices she made were in fact good ones. As for children, they will eventually grow up and leave you but it’s the person you’ve married who is supposed to stick around. Couldn't have said it better. I read this before somewhere.This is nothing but the opinion of a bitter woman who is unsatisfied with the choices she made. You should marry for love and you deserve intense, passionate, crazy,complicated love that raises your temperature exponentially . Marry awhat! a decent guy who brings a second income and takes the trash out kulahaa. Give me a break :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Well, if all it takes to have a good marriage is to look after your husband's morals, then it's not too much to ask. I'll be happy to nag him, and occasionally slap him around, to ensure that he always tells the truth on his tax returns and insurance claims, never views morally-questionable materials and imagery, and so on and so forth. I think he means morale as in self-esteem, confidence, spirit, bluh bluh.

is not a case of beauty bimbo v Educated plain Jane. What u smoking? :confused: This debate aint about Bimbo vs. Plain jane. Nowhere in my post did I make a reference to that. Had you read it, you would've picked up on it :rolleyes: Yes, there is a yes girl, just like there is a yes man. It is a belief about one's self, deep deep down. Now, did I touch a nerve?

Malan & Nac nac and whats wrong with wanting that, i guess tats one everyone u should seek. U sound like a bit wounded, don't let a personal experiance cloud ur general outlook. whats with the personal attack? chill out, homey. If you read the whole post you would've noticed the contradiction. The message is YOU CANT HAVE IT ALL. Either you get the good looking, less opinionated, insecure, yes man girl. Or you get the strong, educated, pretty, independant, " come harder and better" than that girl. Smart women dont waste time massaging men's ego. They have a life to live. Insecure men belong with insecure women, catch ma drift :rolleyes: :rolleyes: .

Really, Rudy. You didnt know Meher? Never heard of it, never discussed it?

Truth: Most men with seemingly supersized egos are fragile and insecure. They tend to say harsh words and judge women too quickly. The fragile ones want a girl who is from good family, manners, looks, education, and the works. They want a girl who makes them feel important and valuable. As long as you massage their egos and act less independent they’ll love you. My guy friends tell me that they don’t like “dealing with” educated girls because they tend to be “hard headed” meaning they’re strong and confident and don’t take B.S. But underneath all that ego and assumed superiority, they are scared little boys. One of my good friends went on a date with this girl last weekend. She has a bachelor’s degree and he has none. He must’ve called me twenty times asking me ‘do you think she is my type? What should I talk about? You think she is gonna like me?’ I never seen him feel that inadequate. Now, he won’t tell his friends or the girl how he feels. If she rejects him he’ll brush it off and make some dumb statement like “oh she was arrogant; she thought she was all that, or she wasn’t my type :rolleyes: ” but I know otherwise. Then there are the ignorant, sexists, outrageously loud, opinionated about women and their place in life type. Those men tend to want slaves. They don’t want a partner in life, they want a doormat :mad: :mad: . There is a difference between illiteracy and formal education. illiteracy means he's never been to school: he can't read or write. uneducated means he is lacking a formal education; he has no diplomas ordegrees. To answer the question, yes I would marry uneducated guy if he is God fearing, polite, smart, funny, hardworking, and willing to learn. You never know what he’s been through and his circumstances. Education doesn’t guarantee happiness or financial stability or good marriage for that matter.