Blush 247 Posted August 15, 2003 Aslam wa alaykum brothers and sisters I have a little...'issue', lets call it, I want to discuss with you. It's my first year in college. As you all know the lectures that come before starting college (I'm not sure if you guys got it, but I did). Parents, uncles, family friends were all warning me about 'what college holds' ...ie guys. Telling me not to go near them, talk to them...basically not to associate with them cos they'll just be trouble and distract me from my studies. Anywayz I ignored them and found it pretty funny. About 6 months into the year I recieved this letter from a guy saying he wants to hook up. I emalied him and explained to him I am a muslim and can't do that shit. He understood cos he was a muslim too. Crisis over...well...thats wat I thought anyway. He approached me today saying that he cant stop thinking about me and he's been skipping classes looking for me. He told me he wants to keep in touch (start emailing each other). He's half swahili (born and raised in Kenya)and half arab. He's really intelligent, honest...and cute. You all are probably thinking whats the prob. Firstly isn't it prohibited to go near zinah? And also I don't see what good it's doing for him communicating with me. Wouldn't that just ,make it harder for him to get over the feelings he has for me? I mean I don't have any probs e-mailing him, as friends. But I'm really afraid of getting myself into something that I can't get out of cos I tend to do that alot. Bottom line is should I start e-mailing him and begin this friendship, or should I just stay away(considering the feelings he has for me) cos it will lead to nothing but trouble. You gotta help me out here guys. I wanna know what the brothers have to say about this too. ~Laters~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blessed Posted August 15, 2003 Originally posted by Blush 24/7: Bottom line is should I start e-mailing him and begin this friendship, or should I just stay away(considering the feelings he has for me) cos it will lead to nothing but trouble. You gotta help me out here guys. I wanna know what the brothers have to say about this too. This is a common boy likes girl scenario. Well, lets forget about the 'shoulds' and 'would's' for a moment. How do you feel about the brother? Do you want to keep in touch with him? Or do you want him to leave you alone entirely? Do you consider him a friend or something more? If you wanna keep in touch with him as a a platonic friend. I don't see it as an issue, tell him that you and he can only be friends and if he wants more than maybe, he is better of not staying in touch with ya. Most guys do get over the 'I fancy you' stage and become good friends as a result If you do like him as he likes you, than I think you need to be true to yourself. But keep it xalaa, get me We can't tell you how to handle your business sis, do what ever feels right to ya Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkerman Posted August 15, 2003 ^^^^^ i think thats all the advice you need Blush. However If in was in that brother's situation there would be one simple think that would ((however strong my feeling towards you)) diswaid me from persuing you anymore, and thats if i knew the attarction wasnt mutual. So again you should ask yourself the same question ameenah asked you. I suppose my advice to you would simple be to try and cool the brother down, you are after all @ college so getting you head all mest up is the last thing you wanna do. But then again am no woman , and am not in your situation so good luck sister. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bambina Posted August 15, 2003 Salaam Blush ,I understand how dis must be confusin' but if u scared of the zinah think about a halaal datin'(if he agrees das cool ,if not then u know wat to do sis,lol).One thing got my attention though,u said he's been skippin' classes to see u?Oh oh!das a serious matter unless he lied in order to flatter u.But flatteries or not, skippin classes is not sumthin dat he should have done,specially knowin dat studyin is very important.Wateva decision u take Blush ,may Allah guide u but if a guy tells u dat he's been skippin classes dat shows dat he is not serious at all.I mean school is a long commitment just like luv.How is he suppose to handle u if he cant handle school? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Haaruun Posted August 15, 2003 Bambina, which school r u @? Just, let me c him and I'll kick his uuuglii behind..LOL. folllow ur heart sis and never get ur self into something that u can't finish....best thing is to be straight n tell him the naked truth.....Hope things will go ur way...don't 4get to share with us how issue ends..good luck:) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stpaulchick Posted August 15, 2003 Sista I can't personally tell u what to do....but first of all, "how do u feel about the guy?" Whatever it is...follow ur heart! But don't let it get in the way of ur studies. I know how tough college and dating is....trust me lol. So I hope ur decisions are guided in a good direction sista! Peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Changed Posted August 15, 2003 blush.....tell me about the lecture last year after i graduated from high school , i was given a three month long lecture since i decided to live in the dorms(hostel) ......girl my lecture included long phone calls from holand :eek: (granma), london(sister :rolleyes: ) dubai(uncle ) well and it went on and on and on..i feel ya on the pain.(this year its totally different..they finally take me as an adult no advices given..i actually give advices preety cool eeh :cool: ) ....well ama stop blabbing now ...and get to the point ..dont make no physical contacts with the man......it xaram...an for emails...writing does not harm...... by the way ..... wlc to somalia online were the nomad roam, out of curiousity: is it ur first flink ever :confused: (u dont have to answer it ofcourse) u remind me of me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blush 247 Posted August 16, 2003 Thanx ppl! I really needed that. So i guess I'll email him and let him know. Neway, I'll keep you all posted on wat happens. Hopefully it's all good :confused: Oh.. and Mizz Unique, damn girl did they actually let ya live in the dorms! You lucky thing. Oh and to get rid of your curiosity, this is'nt my first 'flink'. I've beeen stalked, harrased & had to change my number....so this is a piece of cake na'mean. P.s: Thanx every one, you'all are so nice. I did'nt think ne1 was goona reply to my petty lil problem. ~Laters~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Xafsa Posted August 16, 2003 Ameenah said all that I wanted to say...thats very sound advice. Let us know what you decide hon....and wlc to SOL! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
