Foxy Posted July 26, 2005 New Answering Service at the Mental Health Institute: Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline *If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. *If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. *If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. *If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. *If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. *If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. *If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - no-one will answer. *If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969. *If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line. *If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name. *If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000. *If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. *If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. *If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baluug Posted July 26, 2005 Originally posted by Foxy-brown: *If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. that's a good one lol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Warrior of Light Posted July 28, 2005 Originally posted by Foxy-brown: *If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name. Thats a lost case , cant remember even why they called, will just put the telephone down or if they r lucky 2 reach the operator conversation will go , Who can I help you? errhm Im sorry I forgot, whats your name ... I dont know, where you live, I dont know..... . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MR ORGILAQE Posted August 23, 2005 LOOOL i actuallu heard this real life on an answering machine at a hospital a few years ago.Very funny Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baluug Posted August 23, 2005 Orgilaqe,what problem did you have that you needed to call the mental health dept.? LOL just joking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Animal Farm Posted August 23, 2005 If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you. That's funny Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
