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Reeyo

Halal home-wreckers

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Wadani   

Sighnomore;938419 wrote:
I know a girl who has been married for a year and some change (she also has just given birth). She recently confided in me that certain educated reer magal girls of our acquaintance have been calling/texting/e-mailing her husband. They have been doing this throughout their courtship/marriage/her pregnancy. She doesn't know if they want her completely out of the picture or simply want to be his little halal bit on the side. These girls were all at her freaking wedding! I feel really bad for her but I also somewhat commiserate with said girls. The educated guur halal wanting Somali women far outnumber the men in my city (Toronto). The competition here for good men is fierce, I have seen lifelong girlfriends become bitter enemies after fall out over a dude. The dudes here are either the 'known to police' types, asexual wadads or gassed up player types who who talk to multiple women at a time/string you along with false hope and a couple hadiths. <<--The ones who break up friendships! //end of novel

Ahhh...the joys of being a man. Alhamdulillah. :cool:

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-Lily-   

Sighnomore, we should have no sympathy for low lives that go after married men, a home wrecker is a home wrecker. If we were for one second to even buy into this myth that there is a shortage of Somali men, there is no law stating one must end up with a Somali man? This is something self-imposed. Besides, the earth won’t stop spinning if one never marries and the sun will continue to rise and set.

 

The way I see it since the first condition of polygamy is to treat the women equally we can safely assume many Somali men who engage in this practice may be sinners rather than sunnah followers.

 

Chubacka totally agree. I feel sorry for the kids who always loose out.

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Never seen asexual wadaad.

 

So, you are saying TO is prime hunting ground full of over-educated Xalimos.

 

Lily. Don't encourage them to go to different pastures.

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-Lily-   

Che, if the argument is there aren’t enough Somali men then there are no grounds for complaints if one desired to find pastures no one else is grazing on.

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Sidii reer miyi laysugu cayaayey miya hadda new pastures iyo grazing laysla galay?

 

Gabdhaha reer magal ah oo dhan: geel jire haydin wada qabsado oo qooraha haydin saarsaaro :D until you learn to leave our reer miyi girls alone.

 

Jokes aside: like most men I also wanted to marry more than one woman - until I read the Qur'an - Allah swt says "Marry only one " because no can fulfil the imposed condition (though. Some can try) even our prophet (pbuh) couldn't fulfilled that condition for he loved his first wife more than any other (he didn't even marry any other woman whilst she was alive)

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Reeyo   

It's a matter of subjectivity Serenity- For the wife and possible children it's home-wrecking or the man and the 'other woman' they perfectly justified and find their decisions 'halal' (Following their deen).

 

 

Sayid; that's a great example, Prophet was married to Khadija up-till she died.

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Reeyo   

Serenity by that logic that makes almost 90% of Somali secondary marriages xaram, as it has resulted in the first household being destroyed/wrecked.

 

 

 

I say 90 (generalizing) but you the get drift? Majority of first wives and households object to a second wife.

 

Maybe we should make a poster of this and place it in all Somali communities. (Wait would that be considered as a fatwa?) :?

.

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Apophis   

Correct me if I'm wrong but as I understand it, if a Muslim man fulfils and can continue to fulfill certain (pragmatic ) obligations, the religion allows him to take a second, third and a fourth wife. And those obligations do not include heart related matters (going by C&B's quote).

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Reeyo   

Apophis;942710 wrote:
Correct me if I'm wrong but as I understand it, if a Muslim man fulfils and can continue to fulfill certain (pragmatic ) obligations, the religion allows him to take a second, third and a fourth wife. And those obligations do not include heart related matters (going by C&B's quote).

The conditions CB mentions are they all must be treated equally and fairly- His source goes on to specify: Economical, social and physical needs.

 

Now that for me includes emotional/heart needs, because you can't separate it from the above needs. Plus in stating social, that ties it the current social standards, and we live in a very individualistic and emotional based society.

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Apophis   

@ Reeyo: but the scripture passage quoted doesn't obligate the man to love all the wives equally ( a pragmatic exclusion in my view) just that he provides for them equally (in the said obligations). It thus appears to me, a man fulfilling all the aforementioned practical needs is within his Islamic rights to marry up to 4.

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