Nairobi Convention - Cag Bakayle For President

[Nur]

Somali Anarchist Declaration # (SAD)65432

 

 

The Formation of A National Anarchist Government For Somalia.

 

 

The Nairobi Convention.

 

 

This piece was triggered by Nomads Muraad and Baashi, who reminded me of the Anarchist Convention in Nairobi.

 

 

Murad and Bashi

 

Kii waxaa waaye, Cag Bakayle, as Bashi reminded me, how can I miss such an easy hint!

 

You see, bro, kii is everywhere, even as we speak in the Nairobi Anarchists Convention, the anarchists who are all representing their Tribes are discussing how to share power, the selection process criteria is as simple as follows.

 

 

1. Electing A President:

 

The person who heads the tribe that killed the SECOND MOST civilians, and if not elected can contribute to the derailing of all the peace efforts.

 

2. Prime Minister:

 

The person who heads the Tribe that killed THE MOST civilians, and if not elected can derail all the peace efforts.

 

3. Speaker of the House

 

The person who heads the Tribe that owns fertile lands, bread basket of Somalia. He Reminds Members of Parliament " Af Wax Cunay Xishoo"

 

 

Ministers

 

 

4. Minsiter of Finance :

 

Goes to the Tribe that has most weopons and least money.

 

5. Minister of Trade :

 

The person whose tribe controls and occupies most shipping ports and airports and has most ISBAARA points on roads between Bossaso and Kismayo.

 

6. Ministry of Forestry and Livestock;

 

Person whose tribe burned most Trees, destroyed the environment and exported charcoal and female goats and camels to the Gulf.

 

 

7. Minister of Education

 

Person whose tribe owns most businesses but lacks knowledge to run the business, such as basic skills of writing a business plan. The Ministers Signature reads ( Wallee, Maanta Nin Af Ingiriis Bartay Lacag Ma Heysto ).

 

 

8. Minister of Defense

 

Directly elected by Ethiopia, with Kenya's approval.

 

 

10. Minsiter of Interior

 

Appointed by Condaleeza Rice

 

 

11. Minister of Telecommunications,Posts, Internet, whispering, iljabis, isu baaqid and all forms of communications

 

Appointed by Condaleeza Rice

 

 

12. Minsiter of Religious Affairs

A Kitaab Gaablow, from minority Tribes, Appointed by Conaleeza Rice with Jerry Falwell Recommendations, Mandate : Simple " The Only Fundementalism Allowed is Christian Fundementalism "

 

 

13. Minister of Refugee Affairs and is-Xambaaridda, Baasaboor Fujiska iwm .

 

Goes to Tribe who sends most money back home.

 

 

14. Minister of Justice

 

The Warlord who is most fearful to be summoned by the World Justice Court at the Hague and the Interpol for Genocide, who needs immunity while in office for the next 20 years.

 

15. Minister of Fadhi Ku Dirir Affairs

 

To serve a large constituency abroad who need representation

 

Candidate should prove that :

 

a. He was on welfare for the last 12 years

b. Never worked a day to earn a living

c. Who found out all about his tribes origin after the Civil War.

 

 

Please fill other Ministries I forgot about.

 

 

Nur

 

2004 e-Nuri Satirical political Lampoons

When you cant stomach it, laugh about it!

[rudy-Diiriye]

that was off the hook! homie!! really funny!!

 

minister of of justice!! drum roll please!!

 

i wanna name qacbaro!! i believe the brother will do a great job!!! go homie!! he will do the right thing!! word to u know who!! lolol..

 

plz ladies give homie a hand and clap!!

[Coloow]

Assalamu calaykum,

 

Nur, We the garamgaram nation object to your list sxb. The garamgaram nation needs a kitaab kaablow to lead the ministry of religious affairs!

 

Anyway,waxaad iloowday Wasaaradda Buufiska, af minshaarka iyo fadhi ku dirirka.

 

The incumbant minister should have the following qualifications

 

1. Saddex sharci

2. waa inuu yahay dhiktoor, barafasoor, injineer, janan ama duuliye.

3. Waa inuu leeyahay HOOMBEEJ la magac baxay tuulo, degmo ama gobol.

[Emperor]

lol , this is really funny, thanx bro

 

But somehow these observations are true .... nice one

[checkmate]

. Ministry if Education

 

Pesron whose tribe owns most businesses but lacks knowledge to run the business, like the knowledge of writing a business plan. The Ministrs Signature reads ( Nin Af Ingriss Yaqaan lacag ma Heysto ).looooooooooooooooooooooooooool

 

 

asxantu

[Baashi]

Shifta wlc back bro.

 

Nuurrow, power-sharing agreement is within reach. The fowda Manifesto, as the contract is called, stipulates that:

 

1. Pastoral anarchists shall control the levers of power.

 

2. The folks who reside the riverine agricultural lands shall be raaci – 0.5 shall be their quota and “others†shall be their designated name.

 

3. Tribal-state-mediated Anarchist capitalists system shall be adopted – there shall be a celebration (Soomaaliyeey toosooy..) to usher in the new United Tribal States.

 

4. Clan identity shall stay the locus for physical security and military mobilization.

 

5. Illegal land-grabbing, real estate disputes, and asset acquisition that transpired during the civil war shall not be addressed. These grievances shall sustain the perpetual Anarchism.

 

6. The winners of the civil war, the brave gun-totting anarchists’ leaders shall be rewarded with the highest offices as a token gesture of the reconciliation.

 

7. Islamists shall be denied the right for political participation. Terrorists shall be their nickname.

 

Contributing to:

2004 e-Nuri Satirical political Lampoons

When you cant stomach it, laugh about it!

[Saxardiid]

15.

Minister of Fadhi Ku Dirir Affairs and Cyber warriors

 

To serve a large constituency abroad who need representation

 

Candidate should prove that :

 

a. He was on welfare for the last 12 years and hold several degree either philosophy, history etc.

b. Never worked a day to earn a living and brilliant in shaxaad

c. Who found out all about his tribes origin after the Civil War or through SOL posts.

Members of this very section will be candidates for this ministry.

[Jumatatu]

^^ apropriately said.....

[Nur]

You all surprised me with your creative suggestions .

 

Thanks to Rudy man, always a pleasure to have on these boards, he is deffinetely a politician on the rise, his sense of humor shall qualify him for Minister of Culture ( Californian) who may have to figure out a solution to the Somali expatriates who wil come back with different backgrounds and outlook in life.

 

Shifta Bro.

 

I liked your suggestion, I immediately incorporated in the requirements, you are must when it comes to the Minister of Border Control to aid fleeing refugees across NFD.

 

Waryaa Dude is realling diggin this, I suggest we nominate him Minister of mental institutions, who will have to deal with a crazy population beyound hope, this Minsiter can aonly survive his job if he can laugh out loud and roll on the floor with tears in his eyes.

 

N-O-O-R, Bro

 

You figured it right! truth makes you laugh, never a lie, unless of course it is a good one, like the warlords claims for justice, order and progress for Somalia.

 

 

Shoobbaro

 

That is right, that ststement was a true statement quoted by a Big Business man who was listening to a Business Plan proposal presentation that was in English by a guy from the west looking for funding, the rich businessmena said " Af Somali noogo fasir, saa nin Af Ingiriis yaqaan lacag ma heystee"

 

 

Baashi Bro.

 

The best contribution to e-Nuri Satirical Political Lampoons, I am archiving these great points to be used in future posts, when we are ready to declare our own Anarchist Parody Goevernemnt on Somalia-on-a-lie Convention which will be held , you guessed it, right here on SOL pages.

 

Saxardid bro.

 

Thanks for the additions, we will advertise jobs for unemployed Philosophers working on SOL. They can serve great posts in the anarchist Government of Somalia, Bwana Jumatatu agrees with your view and so do I.

 

 

Nur

[Haashim]

Nur Sxb, this is exactly what is going right now in Nairobi, it's not joke it's serious look for example

and if not elected can contribute to the derailing of all the peace efforts.

I just want to add two new minstries;

 

1. Minister of Environment:

 

goes to the tribe who won the most contracts of burying Nuclear and other poison chemicals in our Land and shores.

 

2. Minster of Rehabilitation:

 

This post is for the tribe who grow the most Opium, Heroine, Cocaine and imports the biggest amount of Qat from neigbhouring countries.

 

I also disagree with you over the conditions of this Minster: Minister of Refugee Affairs and is-Xambaaridda, Baasaboor Fujiska iwm .

 

This post should go to the tribe who made the biggest amount of false Money, Passaports, Birth and death certificates, Visas and Sponsors etc.

 

and i would also increase the Shifta's condition 3 Sharci to 12 Sharci, maxaa yeelay London hal xaafad ah ayaa dadka qaarkiis 3 sharci ka haystaan marka waa in shardigaas laga dhigaa ugu yaraan 12 sharci oo hal waddan ah .

 

Finally the Transport Minstry should go to the tribe who have the most Technics (cabdi bile's enz.) since these technics could also be used the means of transport in the peace times (Barisamaadka)

[Axmed Mohamed]

OF THE HOOK

TOO BAD FOR THE ANACHARIST

[Cawralo]

Originally posted by Nur:

7. Minister of Education

 

Person whose tribe owns most businesses but lacks knowledge to run the business, such as basic skills of writing a business plan. The Ministers Signature reads (

Wallee, Maanta Nin Af Ingiriis Bartay Lacag Ma Heysto

).

 

 

hehehehe! Too funny!

[Nur]

Bashi For President Committee

 

Nominates

 

 

Mr. Jinnoole as the Prime Minister

 

 

Coming Soon

 

 

Mr. Jinnoole's choice of Ministers

 

 

Cag Biciid

 

Secretary

 

The Bashi For President Committee

Working Against Each Other For A Bleak Future

[Oda_Nobunaga]

The Somaliland Confederation of Anarchists wish to participate with our fellow anarchists in the south.

 

Since we are fighting a losing battle against state encroachment, we need the help of fellow anarchist to halt this.

 

We will also require a share of the great big pie

[Haashim]

We - Guddiga xall(bad)inta khilaafka - are totally disagree the propsal of Mr Nur.

 

Mr Nur is diliberately ignored the rules of ANARCHY government.

 

The Government should based on TRIBAL basis and what each tribe could do to undermine the

(war)peace process and how many Technics they posses etc.

 

Neither Mr Bashi nor Mr Jinoole could distabilize ongoing (war)peace process, therefore we have to look another candidate who can fulfill the above mentioned critrea

 

Mr Oda Nbunga ku soo dhowoow minanka FAWDADA.