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qoslaaye

I CANT LOOSE HER OR KEEP HER!!!!!!

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qoslaaye   

Hello Nomads,

this is a realy story it happened to one of my best friends, so dont think I am attacking women ok.

My friend is married to this somali girl that he loves very much. they have two kids and are not living together becuause of this:

when they first get thier baby girl, his wife felt that he is not happy with her becuase he wanted a boy. My friend told her that boy or girl it doest matter. thier second child was also a girl and my friends wife started the same story saying he doest like her. the guy comes back from work and she treats him realy bad. she is always mad and ready to fight with him. the guy decided to go to his brothers house for while. his wife calls him every minutes saying she cant live without him. he came back to the house more than five times and the same fighting starts and when he is gone the calls start. the guy decided to divorce her and she says she will kill herself if he tries that.

so the guy cant keep her and cant loose her. what do you girls thinks about this situation or even guys who have been or heard this kind of problem.

 

sorry this was too long.

 

thanks

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LuCkY   

Well all i can say is that he should talk to her*not at her*but rather a one-on-one talk. NO fighting or yelling-as each person has to get their point across.

She should also stop the nonsense about the childrens gender-the husband should say something to her about that.

 

But all i can say is COMMUNICATION is the key to any relationship.

hope that helps.

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qoslaaye   

thanks Lucky, the guy cant get chance to say one word. the only chance he has to talk is when he is gone and she calls him, she says everything is going to be fine and she will stop everything. but that never happens.

 

thanks lucky again

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LuCkY   

Youre welcome. Than if that is the case i would suggest that somebody talks to her. Or else get two people(outside)*one of her good friends and one of his good friends* get together and talk. so that the other two can observe and probably help in anyway possible.

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i heard that some women, after giving birth go through an emotional and sometimes, mental breakdown, from not only the ordeal of physically detaching yrself from a being thats been growing inside of yr body but also the hormonal and chemical imbalances after giving birth. i dont want to sound rude, but i think this woman may need counselling, and yr friend should help her through this difficult time since she is the mother of his kids.

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Miriam1   

^^^I agree, I think your friends wife needs help fast, a reliable therapist she can speak with. It has nothing to do with your friend, she is going through a tough time.

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Ladiif   

Sxb waxaan u arkaa inay inantu xanuunsan tahay marka deen hala saaro at the same time, dhakhtar dhinaca mental-ka ha aragto!! Allah ha caafiyo.aamiin dhaha

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Changed   

QURAAN HA LA SAARO NAAGTA :D

that is the only way she can heal......and then read some verses of the quran and hadith on her she will feel better ;)

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Paltalk   

TO: qoslaaye

 

Forgiving someone who has wronged you is actually a selfish act rather than a selfless one. Letting go of the hostility and hatred that you may have allowed to bottle up inside you is actually something you do for yourself rather than for the benefit of the other person. When you bear a grudge against someone, it is almost as if you carry that person around on your back with you. He drains you of your energy, ethusiasm and peace of mind. But the moment you forgive him or her you get him or her off your back and you can move on with the rest of your life. I strongly believe that the only way, the best strategy to solve this kind of problem is not through therapist or counseling but forgiving each other. Forgiveness is a great act of spirit and personal courage. It is also one of the best ways to elevate the quality of your life. So encourage the two parties to forgive each other and solve their problems in a peaceful way.

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qoslaaye   

Paltalk, Miz uniq, Latiif, Jawahir, Somealien, and Lucky thank you for your sweet and kind participation. I hope and pray for that these couple stay together forever. I will use everything possible to save their marriage including your honesty ones. Some of the suggestions mention Quran, that would be one of the best moves and they already started doing it. I will honestly update you gentleladies and gentlemen.

 

thanks

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Abdinuur   

In addition to all of the above:

 

You can talk with a Shiek or an Imam in your Masjid and tell him about the situation. They are much more knowledgable than a these 'therapists' or what not!

 

The lady might be confused and she may not be aware of the religious background behind having kids, family, how Allah creates what He wills...etc.

 

But definitely, I would advice you to talk with an Imam and take him with you to her house and let him do the explaining.

 

Insha Allah this will give her a different perspective.

 

And if there's no Imam around your hometown...then do your best by finding other sources of help...

 

Goodluck!

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Qoslaaye, waxaan ku idhi.. suuragal ma tahay in adiga laftaadu aanad haysan "all the information" uu midkoodna ku siinayn xaqiiqdu say tahay ama mid waliba suu u arko arrinta kuu sheegayo.Adigu waxoogaa baadhitaan samee.Waxay iila muuqataa inay labadooduba sax isku arkaan laakiin ayna garanayn khaladkooda.Waxaan kuu soo jeedin lahaa inaad soo ogaato waxa ugu weyn ee dhibka keenaya oo aan ahayn waxa iyagu kuu sheegayaan.((The truth always lies somewhere in the middle.When u find what the problem is,then,go from there))

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