Kulikuwa na msafiri mmoja alikuwa akisafiri kwa kutumia usafiri wa basi. Yule jamaa baada ya kuangaza angaza akaona siti nzuri akakaa karibu na dirisha. baada ya muda mfupi safari ikaanza. Yule jamaa akatoa sigara yake akaishika mkononi.. mhudumu akamsogelea na wakaanza mabishano mafupi: Mhudumu: Samahani mzee si ruhusa kuvuta sigara ndani ya basi mzee. Jamaa: Nani anavuta sigara? Muhudumu: si hiyo hapo umeishika mkononi? Jamaa: Kwa mshangao! Mimi sijavuta sigara nimeishika tu. mbona sisi sote humu ndani ya basi tumevaa viatu je tunatembeaa??? Mhudumu: Aa! mmekaa.(anakataa) Jamaa: Basi na mie sivuti nimeishika tu. Mhudumu: Asante mzee.(huku anaondoka).

kulikua na wavuta bangi na hiyo sehemu ambayo wanavutia pana uchochoro mwembamba kiasi ya kupita mtu mmoja tu,siku moja kati ya wavuta bangi hao alitoa ushauri kama huu ufuatao 'kesho tukija hapa kuvuta bangi itatupasa kuusukuma huu ukuta, walobaki wakaafikiana na mwenzao' sawa. siku imefika wavuta bangi hao wakavuta bangi ikawapata na hapo ahadi yao ikaanza lakini kabla hawajasukuma ukuta mmoja kati yao akatoa ushauri kama wavue nguo zao ili wasipate joto,kuna kibonge akawekwa karibu na zile nguo,kazi ikaanza punde si punde alipita mpita njia na akaona maajabu ya hao jamaa jinsi wanavyofanya na alipoona zile nguo nzuri na viatu vizuri alikwenda kuvichukua na kukimbia sasa wavuta bangi wanaulizana' vipi jamaa ukuta unasukumika' yule kibonge alijibu' inaonesha tumeusukuma mbali sana maana tokea nguo naziona mpaka sasa sizioni tena inaonyesha ziko nyuma saana'.

Forgive for this one... Hili nadhani zaidi ni onyo kuliko kichekesho. Inatokana na tabia ya baadhi ya watu kufanya vitendo vya kujamiana mbele ya watoto au kulala na watoto chumba kimoja. Watoto wawili wadogo, wakike na kiume walitaka kujaribu yale waliowasikia wazee wao wanafanya. 1. mmoja akaanza: tuvue nguo - wakavua nguo 2. Nipandie juu - yule mvulana akampandia juu ya kichwa 3. Baada ya muda yule mvulana akawa anamuuliza mwenziwe, tukae kwa muda gani ndio tuanze kusikia hiyo "raha"? 4. Kile kasichana kikajibu " sijui lakini mie naona kichwa kishaanza kuniuma"!!!!

Originally posted by Winger: i heard a few things about this FGM dat girls dont feel anything during inter-course so da True as all the sensitive areas have been savaged.

Banning the veil? beleive it is the niqaab, the outer face peice.Hope im not wrong. If it is the whole exposure; man, they sure are playing with Allahs rulings now. Taubah

Well I beleive Age aint nothing but a number. Its the persons character, din,... which should matter really. Its what the two people think and beleive in. Mentioning this topic, my own bro has decided to marry a lady 5 yrs older than him why coz he can relate to her.He needed someone older to understand him. She respects him as a man and the two Inshallah will try to solve their problems mutually. Biologically we all know that men are still in shape till their 70s , us women we differ once menopause hits no children but that shouldnt be issue .Its the ladys wisdom, her character,love which wins the heart and not her age.There are alot of people who have taken the Prophets SAW example and are living happily. Going back qn. to marry a younger guy. I beleive he has to be convincing enough to be mature to even think about.What women fear is the immaturity and the societies eyes n ears.While its a new chance to become young at heart and a mutual companion. Well thats my opinion.

lo thats good. 'Lets make sure he's dead'

Glad you liked them guys. SO inaelekea nina wateja will post in some more to keep u laughing. Cheka na ujiburudishe.

Originally posted by rokko.: Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. Good stuff rokko. Glad the application Wife 1,0 has a couple of cards up her sleeves.

Malaysia. Ok heres me qn, if someone makes a mistake in your team who gets the blame? You the leader or u share the blame

MPEMBA MMOJA ALIINGIA HOTELI KWA MARA YA KWANZA, AKAKABIDHIWA CHAKULA, UMA NA KISU, JAMAA AKAMWITA WAITER, NA KUHOJI, "YAKHE VIPI, MBONA KIJIKO KINCHANIKA?!"

MMASAI ALIZUA MTAFARUKU HUKO MERERANI BAADA YA KUAGIZA CHAI NA MKATE MZIMA, AKACHUKUA MKATE WOTE NA KUUCHOVYA KWENYE KIKOMBE CHA CHAI NA KUULA, KUTAHAMAKI CHAI IMEKAUKA KIKOMBENI, MAMBO YALIKUA WAKATI WA KULIPA, CASHIER, "CHAI NA MKATE NI MIAMBILI BABAANGU," MMASAI, "MIMI NALIPA MKATE TU," CASHIER "KWANINI MSEE" MMASAI "NIMEKULA MKATE, SIKUNYWA SHAI" CASHIER"NANI AMEKUNYWA CHAI?" MMASAI"MMKATE UMEKUNYWA SHAI MIMI NIMEKULA MKATE TU NA SILIPI SHAI"

Mmakode.(A Makonde -Southern Tz african tribe famous for their ebony carving) Aliulizwa kwanini vinyago vyenu vinakuwa vizuri kuliko watoto wenu mnaozaa. (Was asked why is it their carvings are better looking than the children they produce?) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mmakonde alijibu.(He answered) Vinyango tunachengenyeza mchana kwenye muangaza mkubwa kabicha. (The carvings we make them in broad daylight) Watoto wetu tunachengeneza usiku hatuoni. (We make children in darkness we cant see.) Doh

Kuna jamaa na mshkaji wake walikwenda mazikoni walipofika muda simrefu jamaa mmoja akaza kuangusha kilio.Kili cha kweli kweli manake. Ikawa jamaa waloudhuria pale wakawa wanakwenda kumpa pole. Mshkajiwake huyo jamaa akawa anawambia kua huyu sie mfiwa tumekuja kutua pole tu kama nyie. Muhudhuriaji moja akauliza. sasa huyu kinachomliza kitu gani.? Mlizi akamjibu muhuthuriaji alieuliza. Kua ndevu zako (mzuzu) umenikumbushia beberu wangu alokufa siku tatu zilizopita. lahaula. Muhudhururiaji mjibiwa bado kidogo azimie.

Baada ya Makame kushangazwa sana na matumizi ya jina la faki katika lugha ya wazungu alishindwa kustahamili na kumtafuta rafiki yake Faki ili kumuuliza sababu ya jina la Faki kutumiwa sana na wazungu na hususan wamarekani weusi. Hapo chini ni mdahalo ulivyokuwa:? Makame: Faki kwa nini wamarekani wanapenda kutaja jina lako kila wakati wanapoongea, hususan wanapokwaruzana kwa hasira utasikia tu faki yu wakiwa wanamaanisha wewe faki. Faki: Makame unajua wakati wa biashara ya utumwa tulikuwa tunapenda sana kuwatumikia hawa watu basi ikawa kila wakati wanataja jina la Faki mpaka wakalizowea jina la Faki. Makame: Mbona baba aliniambia kuwa wengi waliokuwa wanatumwa na wazungu walipenda kutumia jina la Makame? Faki: Basi inawezekana kuwa wanalitumia jina la makame lakini hatujawahi tu kulisikia, hebu tujaribu kuwasikiliza kwa makini pengine itakuwa wanalitumia

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?" "It was great, Dad." "Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked. "Oh yeah," said the son. "So, tell me, what you learned from the trip?" asked the father. The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them." The boy's father was speechless. Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are." Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have. Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! "Life is too short and friends are too few."

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "When I was born I was black," "When I grew up I was black," "When I'm sick I'm black," "When I go in the sun I'm black," "When I'm cold I'm black," "When I die I'll be black." "But you sir..." "When you're born you're pink," "When you grow up you're white," "When you're sick, you're green," "When you go in the sun you turn red," "When you're cold you turn blue," "And when you die you turn purple." "And you have the nerve to call me colored" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

sure,though wouldnt mind moving over to the other camp

sure,though wouldnt mind moving over to the other camp

sure,though wouldnt mind moving over to the other camp

sure,though wouldnt mind moving over to the other camp

Subject: love letter from some one very special > > >You will be happy that you read this all the way through. > >As you got up this morning, I watched you, and hoped you would >talk to me, even if it was just a few words, asking my opinion or >thanking me for something good that happened in your life >yesterday. But I noticed you were too busy, trying to find the >right outfit to wear. When you ran around the house getting >ready, I knew there would be a few minutes for you to stop and >say hello, but you were too busy. At one point you had to wait, >fifteen minutes with nothing to do except sit in a chair. Then I >saw you spring to your feet. I thought you wanted to talk to me, >but you ran to the phone and called a friend to get the latest >gossip instead. I watched patiently all day long. With all your >activities I guess you were too busy to say anything to me. > >I noticed that before lunch you looked around, may be you felt >embarrassed to talk to me, that is why you didn't bow your head. >You glanced three or four tables o! ver and you noticed some of >your friends talking to me briefly before they ate, but you >didn't. That's okay. There is still more time left, and I hope >that you will talk to me yet. You went home and it seems as if >you had lots of things to do. After a few of them were done, you >turned on the TV. I don't know if you like TV or not, just about >anything goes there and you spend lot of time each day in front >of it not thinking about anything, just enjoying the show. I >waited patiently again as you watched the TV and ate your meal, >but again you didn't talk to me. > > > >Bedtime I guess you felt too tired. After you said good night to >your family you popped into bed and fell asleep in no time. >That's okay because you may not realize that I am always there >for you. I've got patience, more than you will ever know. I even >want to teach you how to be patient with others as well. > > > >I love you so much that I wait everyday for a nod, prayer or >thought or a thankful part of your heart. It is hard to have a >one-sided conversation. Well, you are getting up once again. And >once again I will wait, with nothing but love for you. Hoping >that today you will give me some time. Have a nice day! > > >Your friend, ALLAH > > > > >PS - Do you have enough time to send this to another person? > > > >If you aren't ashamed to do this, please follow the directions. > > >Not ashamed? Pass this on......only if you mean it. > > > > >Yes, I do Love God. He is my source of existence and Savior. >Allah keeps me functioning each and everyday. > > > > >Without Him, I will be nothing. Without him, I am nothing, but >with Him This is the simplest test . . . if you Love God, and are >not ashamed of all the marvelous things he has done for you. Send >this to your list! >

Hey Og_girl thanks for contributing. Your right about the misconception on Jihad ppl still think of it as a barbarious act- Islam -religion of the sword.Thanks for clearing up the air. Sundus no p with the caps.Guess Ive also got to get use of ur name to. Jazakhallah Kheir sisters.

Com'on sosodeaf we still havent received the answer to the first one. Anyway i would shot coz they maybe blanks.LO cant beleive i said that.

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, > >amusing, practical and always interesting; someone who's > >constantly > >in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced > >not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, > >considerate, and > >understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help > >them out. Almost there, got some traits of the 51-60 in me too. Mr. Horn Africa i also scored a 41