When he was younger, my old man tells about an obsession he had. It turns out that he prided himself as being the local hard man in his area in the old city of Aden. He recalls (and recounts) several occasions where someone would mention the name of some new bully in an adjacent locality and would eulogise the abilities and bravery of this bully. This, according to the old man, was tantamount to blasphemy! He sincerely tells me about his total hatred for bullies and how he always sought them out to put them in their place once and for all.
The methods he used were numerous. For instance, he would send little kids to the said area and ask them to cause all sorts of havoc to attract and annoy the local bully. Once the bully punishes the kids, my old man would have a genuine reason to call him out for a fight. Or, he himself would go into the area and start an argument (or fight) with someone closely associated to the bully in the hope that this would bring him out. My old man confessed to losing some fights but insisted (and who am I to question him) that he always went back for more until he finally forced the bully to submit. He laughs at the whole silliness of it now but, occasionally, when there is a boxing fight on TV and his favourite fighter is being beaten up, you suddenly notice a faint spark of the old spirit flickering in his eyes and you may hear him mutter about how he would love to get into the ring to teach this bully boxer a lesson he’ll never forget.
If my old man was a member of SOL, I dare say he would pick a fight with Xiin too. But I don’t think he would limit himself to Xiin alone. I think he would hound A&T, pester the guru and, most probably, attempt to twist LST’s nose (going from the logic that Lions are dumb animals after all and he who twists the nose of a lion-tamer possesses a higher level of bravery).
Now, many here remind me of my old man and his old tricks. Most readers, of course, are mistaking the drama that has been taking place on this site as a dispute between PL and ONLF. But my old man, with his deep knowledge and experience of testosterone filled disputes would see it rather differently. He would tell us that he sees a chessboard with pawns, knights, rocks and queens (and even a King or two). One side of the board has a solid colour (if you’re a PL fan you may regard it as white, if an opponent you may insist it’s black). However, the other side had some pieces missing and the player had to make do with plastic pieces, a 24 carat gold ring and even a lipstick holder (if we choose to include Ibti). In fact, he even borrowed a pawn from the other side so that he could have a full set.
This player (if you did not work it out already) is none other than our very own, A&T. I doubt anyone (other than he) could guess who the opponent is. But let us continue with the game and see if you can work it out for yourself.
The game itself did not start as a result of the recent arrests in PL but was one that was always going to take place (like the bullies that my old man always gunned for). These recent events gave both players an excuse to make a confrontation happen. So, A&T started aggressively by making his intention clear before he even moved a single pawn on the board (akin to a midget standing with his back to a giant and shouting ‘someone in the vicinity is in for some serious beating’). The ruse worked and the opponent placed his pawns in a clear defensive formation. A&T, true to his words, went on the attack and relentlessly aimed for the king. Furthermore, he accompanied his game with endless commentary with threats such as: ‘King iyo Queen iska ba daa, aar maca digaagaagan la kici’. His opposite number was getting pummelled and sent almost all his pieces on the attack. A&T used his knight (the 24 carat gold ring) and allowed him to wreck havoc amongst the ranks of the PL pawns. This is when the opposition had no choice but to bring their strongest piece out and unleashed it on the knight. The game was now nearing a stalemate and neither side could rightfully claim to be winning. A&T decided to change his strategy and keep his strong pieces in reserve. It was the time to let out the pawns. Like ants on a trunk of a tree, they ran all the way up Xiin’s macawis and got him wriggling like an excited belly dancer. For, you see, A&T’s aim all along was to bring down Xiin (the supposed king on the opposite side).
The game continues and, the last we heard, A&T was being chased by a couple of bishops with a private message, whilst Xiin was trying to dust off a few pawns that had him in an absolute pin.
But let us not copy what my old man did or prolong this game any further. Though this is a great way to view a professional demagogue first hand (not to mention the entertaining group dynamics), I do not think any game is wroth viewing or taking part in if the spectators and participants did not understand the rules and the end goal.
So, here are the rules:
Rule one: Each side is allowed to field as many supporters as it possibly can.
Rule two: You can switch sides any time you like.
Rule three: Insults should be limited to flowery language and witty putdowns (in other words: no gay references or insults to mothers and womenfolk).
Rule four: A&T saaxiib ma leh
Rule five: A&T is everyone’s friend
Rule six: Females should view the proceedings from a safe distance
Rule seven: Do not trust a Makhiri
Rule eight: The fight should be conducted in one thread and one thread ONLY (the first person to run away to a second thread loses the fight).
Rule nine: Private messages should not be exchanged with the entire forum (they are not called secrets of war for nothing).
Rule ten: This is about two men and not two clans/political entities
The goal of the game:
Either Xiin will triumph by revealing (and proving) that A&T is a clannish agitator or A&T will prevail in exposing Xiin as a PL die hard.
Small print:
The recruitment of any southerners should be accompanied by a signed affidavit declaring that the new recruit is not, will not and has never been a member of any terrorist groups (particularly the kind that blow themselves in large crowds).
