the other side of the coin.

[dawoco]

There are many tales in the Somali community about children that have been corrupted by the European way of life.

How many times have you heard about young individuals that have left their homes to go live in foster families and so on? And the families are always saying “I can’t discipline my children without the threat of social services” and finding it hard to keep control of their children.

 

It is a given, raising children according to a way of life that isn’t practised in their place of residence is a tough task. But is that all there is to the disintegration of the Somali family?

Is the blame squarely on the shoulders of those lost children?

 

Many children say that they are finding it hard to live in a difficult sphere both outside and at home. The can’t fit in the society as it is without becoming that which their parent deem “caasinimo” and they can’t fit in the home structure simply because they can’t grasp the reasons behind the rules their parents want them to abide by. We expect those children to live a life that they can hardly relate to.

Still, no reason to go all “western” on us I think. The problem is quite fundamental and could be easily resolved, if only…

 

The only thing any child would need is a family structure that does provide them more than meals to eat and a place to sleep, as well as the occasional “Canaan”.

Being in school, as I have seen it, isn’t easy for children of Somali origin. You can never belong due to a lax household ruling. It soon fits into a routine of going to school, coming home and watching television. Parents never ask about homework, let alone encouraging their young ones to read and do other things that can benefit them. Many mothers seem to believe that as long as their children are concentrating on the tele, they won’t want to go out and be up to mischief.

Soon enough problems develop as teachers start to complain about how poorly the child might be doing in school, as most children that leave home aren’t too found of school.

This naturally leads to the parents attacking their child and blaming the school for not saying anything sooner. Whatever action is taken always seems too little too late. And there goes another child that has been lost to us.

 

Another thing that worries me is how sinister some people have become. Or rather, some mothers.

Many of them so consumed by paying off the ayuuto pool that they have entered, buying the latest Dirac and newest set of dahab for that all too important wedding event, that it the money has to come from somewhere. And that somewhere usually is the benefits that are there for the taking care of the children.

So when the child needs new books and so on, the money just isn’t available.

 

One can’t talk about Somali families without mentioning the way we spoil our children.

Children are punished hard, and spoiled even harder. They get the latest set of Nike shoes, new outfits and all other frivolous things their heart desires, when the money is there. Money that could have been spent wisely with long term gains in sight. It is all about giving them “wax eey ciyaalka kale ugu faanaan”, fair enough. But is it doing them a favour?

 

Obviously, this doesn’t refer to all Somali families. Some parents do keep a hawk’s eye on their children. And even more children make themselves responsible of their education and their future.

Laakin what about those few that need the extra attention and discipline until they find their footing?

[Qac Qaac]

U r right miss dawaco... laakiin what exactly r u suggesting. I personally agree with u all the problems that u mentioned above, but sister we need SOLUTIONS.... it is easy 4 every1 to talk about the problem. list them up.

 

i think is time for us to come up with collective solution, for all somali children not only EU.. but also in NA. and Ausy land.

 

so u mentioned one solution... which was.

1. don't spoil the kids too much

i'll add this

2. teach them, the new way, life style that they are living, become friends with your kid.

3. teach the religion, in a things that concern them not things that happened in Somalia long time ago

4. the Dugsi system should change, into school format.. and make it everynight, not every weekend once

5. call their teachers at school, and ask how they are doing.

6. invite their friends home, so u see what kind of friends they have.

 

U GUYS COULD MORE....