Children: The glue that holds a somali marriage?

[Ashkiro]

@SCORPION_SISTA " in this scenario you are assuming the husband or the wife want a child, "

 

You would be right in that would be my assumption, since we are focusing on the Somali Cultural Perspective> if we are being realistic here, its certainly unheard of, that a married couple would stay childless by choice, therefore in my opinion the articles that were posted aren't applicable to this cultural's perspective but rather a western cultural perspective(primarily the affluent of that culture.)

 

ps: what is your insinuation on a married couple not wanting to eat from the same plate over and over again? LOL, that doesn't sound so promising.

 

@ Malika that's a sad story, mayy God give her jannah amiin.

[SCORPION_SISTA]

Cara does it annoy you!!!!Well I felt "bye bye" was redundant so I wanted something still close to that, and somehow "bee bye" was born from it...That's the best I can say for it.

 

Maryan Run, well you said in the question part that they were not having children because of Allah's will, therefore I assumed they were not stopping themselves from getting pregnant, but more like they were childless...I would disagree that in our Somali culture there are no couples who are childless by choice...Now we are talking about two couples choosing not to have children so a scenario I can think of would be a couple who might have some kind of genetic defect and know they have a great chance of passing that defect to their child and choose not to have children because of it...Another scenario would a man who might have children with a previous wife but wishes to have no more children with his current wife, and she is fine with that as well.

 

loool@insinuation, oh gosh I hope I am not corrupting you, but what I said was the same dish meaning over and over(not the same plate) that two people would not want to have sex the same way every time they have it.

 

bee bye

[Ashkiro]

Haye, I understand where you are coming from now.

 

lol@ corrupting me. what i was thinking was entirely different, not that i see a difference between plate iyo dish though LOL. but as someone who is a hopeless romantic and believes in a monogamous marriage, your earlier comment especially from a sister was on the sour end, different positions baad ka wadaay ileen, khatarey khatar.

[Aaliyyah]

maryan I think communication is what keeps marriage going. Children alone will not be the answer, if that was the case we wouldn't have so many single mothers with 8 kids? apparently those 7 kids were not enough to keep that family together. I am not saying children are not keeping the family together bt its partial thing. If the two ppl are not happy and content with their life, am not talking abt intimacy necessarily. Simply if those two are not communicating and cooperating well. Then, obviously the relationship will not work.

 

And, dnt mind somali ppl for being shocked, it is not part of our culture to have one child. It is actually almost unheard of, bt as long as your parents are happy with one child so be it. But, i just wonder why did your parents just had you? was it out of their control to have more kids? or they just preferred to have one and why??...kids are blessing and i couldn't imagine a family being happy with one child? ...you would at least want to have 3 maybe 4...maybe more..just to make sure if one turns out wrong, the other one will stick around lol...and if my questions are a bit out of the line you don't have to answer...

 

wa salaamu alaikum

 

 

Edit: After rereading the posts I gathered that it was Allah's will...and its amazing how ur parents continued to be married regardless of the situation. It takes a lota of iiman..good for them.

[sheherazade]

Originally posted by Castro:

quote:Originally posted by Ms DD:

Castro

Typical male answer, your problem is ..you are too honest

Typical? Probably not, but I am honest. And you must be single.

 

Ciao Sheh. We gotta stop meeting like this.

How else if not crossing the pond and getting past your wife's eyebrows(raised)?

[Faarax-Brawn]

^Perhaps,accepting the position of wife numero dos?

 

I dont think this would be the case for me personally. I hate kids,them little rascals

[Paragon]

^Hell is other people's children!

 

I like them though. From a distance. Mute.

[sheherazade]

u ARE in a foul mood.

 

Originally posted by Faarax-Brawn:

^Perhaps,accepting the position of wife numero dos?

that would raise more than an eyebrow were I so inclined. And I'm so so not inclined.

[Paragon]

Grumpy not foul. Grumpy is better.

[Chimera]

A married couple are neither enemies nor friends. - Somali Proverb