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- Femme -

Tidbits of Women's Wisdom...LOL

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Dear Lord,

I pray for wisdom to understand my man;

Love to forgive him;

And patience for his moods;

Because Lord, if I pray for strength I'll beat him to death.

Amen.

 

:D

 

There are easier things then finding a good man; nailing jello to the wall for instance...

 

No man is worth your tears and the one that is, won't make you cry.

 

All men have something to hide. The brighter the picture, the darker the negative. -- "Rupert Thorne" (on Batman The Animated Series)

 

P.M.S.= Putting up with Men's Sh*t! --

Unknown

 

Seminars for Males

Once again, the female staff of the University will be offering courses to men, regardless of marital status. Please note that the name of some courses have recently been changed. Attendance to at least 10 of the following courses is mandatory. The seminars are in great demand, so please register early.

 

Courses

 

* Economics

 

o 101: Understanding Your Financial Incompetence

o 102: We Do Not Want Sleazy things for Eid- Give Us Money

 

* English

 

o 101: Spelling - Even You Can Get It Right

o 102: The Attainable Goal: Omitting "*#?$@" From Your Vocabulary

o 110: How Not to Act Like an Asshole When You're Obviously Wrong

 

* Environmental Studies

 

o 101: Garbage - Getting It to the Curb

o 102: Why It Is Unacceptable to Relieve Yourself Anywhere But the bathroom

o 103: You Can Do Housework Too

o 104: How to Fill an Icetray

o 105: How to Put the Toilet Lid Down (must be taken concurrently with Environmental Studies 106)

o 106: Learning to Aim Straight - It Can Be Done (must be taken with ES 105)

 

* Health

 

o 103a: You Can Fall Asleep Without IT If You Really Try

o 104: Changing Your Underwear - It Really Works

o 110: You Too Can Be a Designated Driver

115: YOu are as ugly as you think--accept it.

 

*Leisure Studies

 

o 101: The Weekend and Sports Are Not Synonymous

o 102: How to Go Shopping With a Woman Without Getting Lost

o 110: Helpful Posture Hints for Couch Potatoes

 

Psychology

 

o 101: PMS- Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut

o 102: See Health 102

o 103: Understanding the Female Response When You Come In Drunk at 3am

o 111: Give Me a Break - Why We Know Your Excuses are Bullshit

o 201: See Health 201

o 250: Learning Self-Control - How Not to Pick Your Nose or Adjust Your Balls in Public

 

Sociology

 

o 101: YOU - The Weaker Sex

o 102: Reasons to Give Flowers

o 105: Romanticism - Other Ideas Besides Sex

o 210: Male Bonding - How to Leave Your Friends At Their Homes

 

* Textiles and Apparels

 

o 101: Wonderful Laundry Techniques (Formerly: Don't Wash My Silk)

o 102: I'll Wear It If I Damn Well Please

o 104: Yes, They Really Smell After Being Worn More Than Once

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