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lover-boy2006

The Top 10 Reasons Why It Sucks To Be A Dick Mark .

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10. You've got a hole in your head.

9. Your master strangles you all the time.

8. Your head is disproportionate to the rest of your body.

7. You shrink in cold water.

6. You never get a haircut.

5. You always hang around with 2 nuts.

4. Your closest neighbor is an asshole.

3. Your best friend is a *****.

2. Your scalp gets cut off if you're Jewish.

 

And the number one reason why it sucks to be a dick:

 

1. Everytime you get excited, you throw up.

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Password ?

 

 

A new employee joins the Company, and is required to have a

password setup for his computer. The boss directed a secretary

to setup the password for him.

 

The secretary asks the man for the password. The man, attempting

to embrass the secretary in order to show superiority, said,

"Penis."

 

Blushed, the secretary inputted the password Penis, and re-typed

it again. Then she hit enter.

 

The whole office heard the secretary bursting out of laughters

as a reaction from the computer's screen:

 

"Password rejected. Reason: Too short"

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Sex in the Dark ?

 

 

Jane was becoming frustrated with her husband's insistence that

they have sex in the dark. Hoping to free her husband from his

inhibitions, during a passionate evening, she flipped on the

lamp--only to discover a cucumber in his hand.

 

Is this what you've been using on me for the past 10 years?!"

 

"Honey! Let me explain!"

 

"Why you sneaky ******* !" she screamed. "You impotent SOB!!"

 

"Speaking of sneaky!" he interrupted. "Maybe you'd care to

explain our 2 kids!!!"

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Almost Famous

 

"You remind me of a famous movie star."

"Really? Which one?"

"Lassie."

 

 

 

 

Annoying Boy on Bus

 

A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.''

The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.''

 

The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!''

 

The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!''

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