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Safferz

The Quarter-Life Crisis

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Khayr   

What is a quarter life again? Saff, if you are 25 and doing a ph.d on an obsulete subject matter like afro-american or african history, then what is the problem? Take the accolades and be quite.

You have no worries and no responsibilities in life at all.

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Safferz   

Khayr, it's an existential crisis of sorts, not a complaint about anything material. I've just lost interest in most things and most people, lost passion for the many of the things I thought I was passionate about, and feel a bit lost when I thought I had a clear plan. I don't respond well to contingency, and I've realized that everything in life is contingent, as much as you may plan for it.

 

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Tallaabo   

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Hasina, sometimes being stuck in a rut can be a sign of something more serious, like depression. Describing yourself as being in a dark place and avoiding friends and family is more concerning than simply being bored with your routine, I think. Have you thought about seeing a doctor or trying counseling? How long has this been going on?

That is a professional advise Saffy, well done.

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Tallaabo   

Have you thought about learning the Quran? Setting yourself the challenge to learn the whole Quran by heart or more manageably just a Sura/Juz every month?

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Khayr, it’s an existential crisis of sorts, not a complaint about anything material. I’ve just lost interest in most things and most people, lost passion for the many of the things I thought I was passionate about, and feel a bit lost when I thought I had a clear plan. I don’t respond well to contingency, and I’ve realized that everything in life is contingent, as much as you may plan for it.

 

Is this not the case for many of us or people in the West, when removed from life hardest struggles, death and risk (actually people from porrer countries and times are less likely to be depressed, unhappy etc) .

As you suggest, relying solely on planning, worrying about planning everything and the generalised incitation to "follow one's passion" instead of doing firstly what helps most others or is most coherent with one's core value, care for others instead of self-absorption and follow life natural path (early marriage and responsabilities) may well be the reasons.

I personally awake most brutally when visiting burials, hospitals or suffering ones about how trivial and self-absorbed if not ungrateful we could be.

 

There is this thinker called De botton seen on the web etc talking about status anxiety or how seeking status compared to others may be the root of modern times problems(amplified when societies become meritocratic in appearance, albeit very different in reality, eg "anything is possible in America or for everyone").

Thus, stress and unhapiness take a toll and create much of the common physical as well as health problems as the famous Roseto village study in the Italian enclave of Pensylvannia and others showed that strong community sense (common meals with extended family, solidarity accross the village etc) was a very powerful protection against heart disease and other killers even when the diet becomes equal (half the rate of hearth diseases, virtually no crime etc despite a switch to common American heavy on junk diet).

 

That over-hyped guy prescribes however old time and ancient thinkers wisdom of reminding oneself of death, some measure of misanthropy (contempt for keeping up with the Joness or judging people according to status etc) etc; not so earth-shattering a revelation for Muslims or follower of other religions.

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Holac   

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its Depression clearly.

 

Nope. What Saf described is classic boredom during a school year. It is common.

 

 

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xabad   

What she is describing is deeper than boredoom. it could be depression. losing iterest in one passion is clear sign of taht disease, boredom and many other things she mentioned.

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Saff, what Abu-Salman and others have said. Stop thinking and try filling your days with activities and hobbies. The more one thinks about the future/past, the more daunting/meaningless life seems. For your first venture, read an old lady an ancient book. I suggest the "Palace of Mirrors" by Inayat Khan.

 

 

Holac, can we count on you not to post pornography on this site anymore?

 

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Reeyo   

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Swimming is inane for a fish and not for a bird you troglodyte.

 

Awful, awful pretension. Jesus.

 

lol. -Where have you been hiding!

 

Saf, go take a stroll through the park early mornings and just smile, tell yourself that you are one lucky b*tch and you need to get over yourself. Then go pay sadaaqah.

 

Always works like a charm :D

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Reeyo   

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Have you thought about learning the Quran? Setting yourself the challenge to learn the whole Quran by heart or more manageably just a Sura/Juz every month?

 

Take my advice first and then follow it up the resident wise's.

 

Qur'an recitation and the challenge will give you the rejuvenation you need.

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galbeedi   

I feel rejuvenated when I hear the youthful " Haasaawe" between the this group. I know it is not my place to interfere but , as a Sol resident I care about the well being of our sisters.

 

First, I think what sister Saffez is feeling could be many things. I have come to realize that the well educated Somali sisters are not getting their match. While ago I visited Calgary University, Alberta and almost 65% of the Somali students are female. They are well organized, bright and beautiful. THeir expectations are getting higher every day. THe Somali women have been always on the top the family structure, but today's youth are achieving more than their male counter parts. TheSomali young does not to grow up. One I was young my biggest dream was "goormaan Hanan Gabadh Soomaaliyeed oon Guursan.

 

Yes, the western culture may have some influence in their lives but still they are good and honorable Muslim women.

 

Ragiinan , dhalinyarada ah ee hunu hunuuda ku jira waajibkiina qabsada oo hablahan meesha sare gaadhay waxii ka maqnaa keenaa. Ma far waaweyn baan wax idiinku qornaa.

 

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Reeyo   

Not to divide into the cliche you've just described but did you have to go there galbeedi?

 

Saf is bored and you make the assumption it has something to do with Somali men? A little self-absorbed wouldn't you say? :=P

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Safferz   

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Not to divide into the cliche you've just described but did you have to go there galbeedi?

 

Saf is bored and you make the assumption it has something to do with Somali men? A little self-absorbed wouldn't you say? :=P

 

I was wondering when someone would suggest it. After all, the received wisdom is that a woman's life is incomplete and unfulfilled without marriage and children, so that must be what's 'missing' for me. It's not.

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