Question For Brother Nur

[Diamante]

It's a simple and brief question really, but one that got into my mind as i was trying to fall asleep last night.

 

Say a woman leaves her husband. She fears for her safety and life, and not only hers but that of her children as well. Say she fled the country altogether and lives someplace far from her husband. However she is still married to him. Thus after several years she meets someone she thinks is a good man and wants to marry to him. What will she do, as she is still married to her former husband and if she goes back its a risk to her life. Under islamic law what is the best thing for her to do?

 

Also, when answering to this question, could you include some hadith (if there is any and if you know any) related to this? Is she still obliged to get a divorce from her husband, even though of years without communication etc? Also can he refuse to divorce her and has he the right to?

 

Thanks

 

Voice Recognition

[Qac Qaac]

good question u should ask brother Nur..

[Nur]

Diamante walaal

 

I am sorry to hear such a sad story, before we consider your question, is there a way we can discuss the reason for the problem that casued the estragement and breajup? I mean, what is the fear? physical abuse? psychological torment? lack of love life?

 

Reason of my questions are diagnostic before I guide you to a possible solution, my heart is aching as I type this note, I hate families with kids breaking up.

 

Nur

[MR ORGILAQE]

Say a woman leaves her husband. She fears for her safety and life, and not only hers but that of her children as well. Say she fled the country altogether and lives someplace far from her husband. However she is still married to him. Thus after several years she meets someone she thinks is a good man and wants to marry to him. What will she do, as she is still married to her former husband and if she goes back its a risk to her life. Under islamic law what is the best thing for her to do?

 

I think i can answer that to a certain degree

 

First of all that lady must get a divorce before embarking on any other relationship.Islam has made possible for such a person to get such a divorce.You have to get witnesses and an Imam who is then briefed in the history.I appreciate this means the man might find out where she leaves but it doesnt have to be in the tonw/city where she leaves to avoid detection.He must then be informed/passed a message to that he is no longer married to that lady.This is the islamic way i have the hadiths but not with me as i am at work i will inshallah make the effort to get them for you.I hope this helps.

[Diamante]

First of all thank you for taking the time to look at my question and post your thoughts.

 

To Nur,

 

Walaalkiis, it is indeed a sad situation, and families who break-up in general are bad already, but it's even worse if it happens under these circumstances.

The reasons i'm referring to here are particularly those of a violent nature, i.e. physical and psychological abuse, issueing threads etc.

So that means in no way can this person go back, once they run away.

Thank you in advance for taking the time to look for a possible answer to this.

 

Orgilaqe,

 

Walaalkiis, thank you for your reply. (didnt mean to keep you from work ). I would very much appreciate it if you posted some hadiths here.

 

Salaam

[Nur]

Diamante walaal

 

Thanks for clarifying;

 

This woman should seek justice, according to Quraan, a counsel from her side and a counsel from his side should sit together in finding a solution.

 

If a violent threat is proven to be true, and the character of the man makes it believable that he would walk his talk, it would be advisable that she seeks divorce as her safety and that of her kids are very important.

 

If she resides in a Muslim country, and if the parties fail to agree to grant this woman the divorce, a Muslim Qaadi (judge) has the power of granting her a Khulc ruling for a divorce after examining the evidence and the situation in depth.

 

 

Nur

[Beard]

Bismillah,

 

My cousin sister went through a process like this and re-married.

I am always worried if she went through the right process.

My uncle was handling her divorce case.But I was also closely involved and accampanied them to the qadi several times.

She told us, her husband was a violent man and showed us marks of beatings on her back!

She was also the bread winner. The man did nothing for her Masaruuf.

Her brothers and her parents were her neighbours but strangely enough, they supported their brother-in-law and beat her even more(according to her story).

 

She was my cousin but we never met before and she was the only source of the story(different somali cities).

To complicate everything, when we met the qadi, she never mentioned, the cruelty and lack of Masaruuf from her husband.

She said her husband has abandoned her and she does not know where he is.

She sought divorce on those new grounds and it was granted after three weeks.

In reality we knew where he was but extremely hard to travel there(he was still where she left him).

I am sure at least this point was a lie.

I wonder if her divorce is valid.

She just took advantage of the chaos to say her husband has abandoned her.That was the most common problem at the time.

"My husband is missing, may be he is dead."

[Wiilo]

Assalaama Caleykum Waraxmatullaahi Wabarakaatu:

 

Question for bro Nur:

 

I'm a member of UNSA, United Nation Student Association at my School( University________) and what we do basically involves travelling place to place, u know flying one place to another, and I know that women are not allowed to travel alone without her Husband, brother or Father. And I want to continue doing this and even seek a job from the UN . As you can see I'm driven by personal needs sort of a speek. It is not that I don't know what the religion says about this BUT It is my DREAM. I might stop it for ALLAAH seek, and change my Major . Brother Nur what is your ADVICE about my situation?

[Alle-ubaahne]

Brother Nur,

 

Its your turn to take for that big question. Thanks to Allah, we've here a good brother in knowledge. May Allah (sw) protect you, aamiin.

[Diamante]

^^ amiin to that!

 

Beard:

 

Bisinka, that's a sad situation, why would she lie to get seperated from her husband?...acuudu bilaah.

 

Wiilo that's an interesting question walaalo.

I also would like to know what to do in that sort of situation.

 

To Nur,

 

Thank you a million times for your reply and seeking the best way to approach the situation i sxplained to you. Blessed be thee!

[Nur]

Wiilo sis

 

I will post my response on the Career Planning Thread.

 

Nur

[Coloow]

Cimrigaaga raageey geel dhala aas ku tusaa!

 

Islaanta waaba la qabaa ee

 

1) Maxaa ninkeeda ka soo waday oo aay u soo safartay?

2) Maadama la qabo maxaay nin kale ku damacday?

 

Anigu kolleey xagga cilmiga diinta ku saleeysan waa laigaaga fiicanyahay. Hase yeeshe, dhaqanka/xeerka soomaalidda waxaani oo kale waa wax aad u xun.

 

Labada qof oo is qabto laiskuma qasbi karo- hase yeeshe guurga eebeheey wuu sharfay oo laguma jibiyo arrimo raqiis ah sida qof kale ayaan ka helay.

 

Kolleey islaantii tiraahdo nin kale ayaa i cajibiyey, kan dambena waay ku oran.

 

Diamente, maandheey malaga yaabaa inaay wax kale islaantani hoos ku wadato? Malaga yaabeey inuu ninkeeda dhibaateeysanyahay? malaga yaabaa in naagtani aay qolada gaalada ah aay durbaanta u tumaayaan- oo aay lilaaw bilaa micni ah iyo khuraafaad aay ku aqriyaan?

[Diamante]

Caaqil,

 

Maya, lagama yaabo iney gabadha "wax" hoosta kuwadato. Like i clearly pointed out (and i will do it again for you), He was an abusive husband, end of story. I don't know about these other stories that women conjure up, but like i described the situation, that's the way it is.

 

1) Maxaa ninkeeda ka soo waday oo aay u soo safartay?

2) Maadama la qabo maxaay nin kale ku damacday?

Jawaab:

 

1. Jawaabta su'asha kowaad waxaan qoray kadhex fiiri walaal.

2. Gabadha bina adam waaye. Ninkeedana cabsi oo nafteeda ee u qabta daradeed ayaa kasoo tagtay, marka haddee ninkale heshay oo ayada canfaco (oona ay hubto inuu sidii ninkeedi hore u galeenin) maxaa u diidayo? It's not against our religion to get remaried, if i remember well.

 

Third of all, Dhaqanka Somaliyeed meela badan ayuu ka-qaldan yahay ee waxaa lagu qaata inaad diinta ku-dhaqantid instead of dhaqan kaliya.

Besides, dhaqan oo dhahayo nin ku abuse gareenayo haa katagin ma dhaqan ba?!?

 

Marka Caaqil, the only durban oo latumayo waa midka oo gabahda ninkeeda uu ku garaaco mafahantay? Gaalna sheekadaan maxaa soo galiyay, she could've run to another islamic country or another somali town for all you know?