Just for husbands!

[Abdinuur]

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

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Sahih Bukhari Volume 8, Book 73, Number 90:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false

tales; and do not look for the others' faults and do not spy, and do not

be jealous of one another, and do not desert (cut your relation with) one

another, and do not hate one another; and O Allah's worshipers! Be brothers

(as Allah has ordered you!)"

 

Sahih Bukhari Volume 1, Book 2, Number 53:

Narrated Sa'd bin Abi Waqqas:

[/b]Allah's Apostle said, "You will be rewarded for whatever you spend for

Allah's sake even if it were a morsel which you put in your wife's mouth."[/b]

 

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Just For Husbands!

Mona Abdussalam

Comments?: http://www.interactiveislam.com/html/article.php?sid=16

 

Have you cleaned the house? Is dinner ready? Have you fed the kids? Did

you wash my clothes? These are some of the questions that women hear, day

in and day out, from husbands who assert that wives are nothing more than

servants and baby machines. But a wife is neither.

 

Nevertheless, amidst busy schedules on the parts of both women and men,

some husbands forget the real reasons behind marriage and likewise the

rights of their wives. Subsequently, they deprive themselves, their mates

and their children of the happiness and tranquility that is the bedrock

of a successful family. This unbalanced vision towards a couple's ideal

relationship is bad enough to plunge the family into a situation laden

with troubles and worries.

 

Even among religious families, you will find some husbands who still do

not have a proper understanding of rights of their wives, nor a clear vision

of the intended relationship between a married couple.

 

It is both painful and distressing to see a Muslim husband practicing Allah's

orders on the one hand, but forgetting to follow His guidance regarding

how to treat his wife. Outside the home he is kind, patient and smiling.

But, as soon as he returns home, the smiling face becomes angry and sad

and the kindness and gentleness turn into nervousness and adversity. He

starts shouting and screaming his orders at his wife.

He forgets that although he faces many challenges and pressures outside

the house, his wife can also be overwhelmed with the housework and her

responsibilities to the children.

 

He forgets that she also needs rest after a long day of working. Although

his duty is to work outside the house and to provide for his family, a

wife's role inside the house is not any less important. On the contrary,

her role is often more important as she is the one charged with raising

the children and guarding the family.

 

We often see this scenario: A wife feels tired and asks her husband to

help her with the cleaning, washing or cooking. He refuses, as though it

is shameful for a man to help his wife. Doesn't he know that Prophet Mohammad

(pbuh), the most beloved person to Allah (swt), helped his wives with the

housework? Doesn't he know that Omar Ibn al-Khattab provided recipes to

a group of women in order to teach them how to cook? Could Omar teach others

if he himself did not know how to cook?

 

No husband, regardless of how much work he has, can ever be busier than

our Prophet (pbuh) whose duty it was to spread Islam. Likewise, no one

is busier than Omar who had to bear the responsibility of a Khalifah.

 

It shocks me to hear that some wives have never heard a loving or appreciative

word from their husbands. When asked about the person he loved the most,

the Prophet (pbuh) did not hesitate to name his wife, A'ishah. Thus, he

declared very clearly, that a husband should not be ashamed of loving his

wife or even of declaring that love in front of other people.

 

It is also painful to hear that some husbands do not speak to their wives

or spend time with their families, under the pretenses of a busy schedule

and da'wa work. While it is noble to be involved in da'wa outside the home,

it is also necessary that the wife and children also be recipients of a

husband's efforts.

 

I wonder how married couples can live without ever talking or spending

time together or how they can feel happiness and tranquility with this

gap separating them. Who else can share in happiness and sadness better

than one's wife? Who else can encourage one to confront the challenges

of life with perseverance and patience? Who can listen and keep one's secrets

better than a wife? Who can help renew iman and intentions better than

a wife?

 

The Prophet (pbuh) taught us that the best among men is the one who best

treats his wife. Shouldn't we follow the Prophet's example in every issue

of our lives?

 

The Prophet (pbuh) spent time with his wives, talking to them, laughing

with them, and even playing with them. He listened to his wife, Om Salama's

(raa), advice in the Hudaybiya conciliation, when she advised him to start

shaving and butchering. It was her mature advice that solved the predicament

and protected the Muslim nation. So why have we strayed from that example?

 

Raising children is not just the mother's job, as some mistakenly think.

It is intended as a mutual responsibility to be shared by both parents.

Everyone has his/her complimentary role to undertake regarding family.

There is no doubt that the mother bears the bigger burden of responsibility,

but the role of the father is likewise important and has tremendous effects

on the stability of the family.

Children need the presence and input of a father. They need him to ask

them about their homework, help them memorize the Qur'an and understand

religion. They need to feel that he is there for them.

 

Dear husbands, your wife is your partner, your other half and your life

mate. She can be your hassanah in this world and "the blessing of your

life," but only if you give her the chance to be. She is the one who can

bring a smile to your face and dry the tears of pain from your eyes. She

has the potential to provide your family with iman, happiness, encouragement,

and patience in the face of challenges you may face. Your wife is always

ready to sacrifice everything in order to bring happiness and success to

the family.

 

No one can claim that marriage is always blissful or that there will never

be any hardships to face. But, if the basis of the relationship is strong

and if each person has a clear vision of his partners' rights, then challenges

can easily be overcome.

 

I do not mean to blame all husbands for the problems facing couples today.

I am addressing a specific type of husband within the Muslim community:

the misinformed one who does not understand that a happier and stronger

Muslim family can only be built under a strong partnership between the

couple.

 

Allah (swt) says in the Holy Qur'an, "And among His signs is this, that

He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility

with them, and He put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that

are Signs for those who reflect." (30:21)

 

Source: Interactive Islam

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Every society (or community) reproduces itself first and foremost through

the family institution. Though, nowadays TV plays a key role in shaping

the child's personality, it is still presumably under the control of the

parents. Recognizing the importance of the family, Islam puts all the responsibility

of molding the child's personality on the parents. Narrated Abu Huraira

: Allah's Apostle said, "Every child is born with a true faith of Islam

(i.e. to worship none but Allah Alone) but his parents convert him to Judaism,

Christianity or Magainism. In a verse that summarizes and emphasizes the

parents' responsibility, Quran instructs us to save our children from Hellfire

(which means to raise them as committed and obedient Muslims) "O ye who

believe! Save yourselves and you families from a Fire whose fuel is Men

and Stones" [66:6]

 

The process of raising children starts well before the child is even conceived.

Indeed, a true Muslim family is a prerequisite for a true Muslim child.

And the most efficient way of teaching is by example (you can tell people

to do as you do; you cannot tell people to do as you say). However, observance

of basic religious duties (prayers, fasting,.) does not make the family

a true Muslim family. In addition to be a good role model for their children,

parents need to educate themselves about the scientifically proven methods

of parenting. But care must be taken to learn these methods either from

Islamic sources or on the light of the teachings of Qur'an and the Sunnah

(the tradition) of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). We have to learn how to link

our children to Allah (swt), how can we instill in their hearts the love

of Allah (swt) and His Messenger (pbuh); how to teach them gentleness,

kindness, love, and respect; how to train them on Salat and charity; how

to select good friends. However, none of this can be achieved if we don't

spend time with our children.

 

-From The American Muslim Magazine

 

[Hibo]

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"In the end we will conserve only what we love, we will love only what we understand, we will understand only what we are taught"

 

--Unknown

 

[This message has been edited by Indhadeeq (edited 05-18-2002).]