Traits of atrue kenyan....

[QUANTUM LEAP]

For those of you who understand Swahili Im sure you would find it amusing...

 

 

Traits of a true Kenyan!!!

To all my friends ebu someni I know most of you are familiar with this......

 

You unwrap all your gifts carefully, so that you can re-use the wrapping. (I still have mine for Christmas '98 na usinicheke!)

2. You don't have genuine containers or executive utensils,you only use margarine,ice-cream and yoghurt mikebes. (Blue band, Kasuku, Kimbo,mallo, Lyons Maid serve me well)

3. You call an older person you've never met before uncle' or 'aunty.' (auntie, unashuka,uncle si nikuvukishe baro?) I think all our parents have made us do that one time or another. Kwanza tukiwa watoto mpaka tuite ma-mbotch 'aunty'!!

 

4. More than 90,sorry 95% of the music CD's and cassettes in your home are illegal or pirated copies. (done in Dubai,kariokor base or Rivarori) Na Kwambia mpaka zile CDs ninazo hapa ni pirated.

 

5. Your backyard or store is always full of stuff because you never throw anything away, just in case you need it someday. (a gum boot without a partner, njumu ya left ya sandak zile za tenee and the baby walker - the baby now 12 and you are 40) Keeping manuals of electronic stuff we no longer have..sound familiar?

 

 

6. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottle(mikebe tupu) from your stays at hotels (Sarova shaba, Sirikwa...) and also the tu flamingo sachet soaps that are usually offered in the lodgos.

 

 

7. You have almost always overweight baggage when travelling by plane. (Taking unga ya jogoo, Omena, Royco, sugarcane, arrowroots and githeri to 'uncle' Paul in the U.S.!) Wengi wenu jua the feeling!!!!!

 

8. If a store has a limit on the quantity of a product, then each member of the family will join separate queues to purchase the maximum quantity possible. (Mumias sugar during a shortage)

 

9. All children have annoying nicknames. (bebi, toi, boi, kadogo, nyako, rembo, doli, mamie, dadie, toto, kanono, twig) Enyewe watoto wa POSTA!!! Mnajijua!!!!!

 

10. Nobody in your family informs you that they are coming over for a visit. (uncle, wife, sis-in-law, two nephews and mboch have camped at home from Wesdan-Western) wengine wenu ndio mlifukuzwa mcome huku.

 

11. You stuff your pockets with, mints and toothpicks at restaurants. (Murray mints, wrappers, and salt shakers, serviettes!) Kwa sababu ni sare!!!wengine za sodexho..

 

12. You are taken out by your jamaa/chik to a posh resturant e.g Hilton and you are given those hot cloths for washing your hands and you proceed to wash your face, arms, elbows etc Doesn this ring any bells sita toboa siri lakini unajijua!!!!

 

13. You only make telephone calls at a cheaper rate at night. (Eti economy ni mbaya!) Yaani this is to all of you guys back home on TARRIFIC Tarrif!!! Saf-com.

 

14. You teach your friends swear words in your language. (jinga, fala,shenzi wallahi billahi,aki ya ngai,nyasai kende mrembe mno ingoho!) mnaofundisha hawa walami maneno machafu tu!!!!

 

15. You never have less than 50 people to meet you at the airport or see you off even if it is a local flight. (Yeah, my relas from Gatanga have hired a minibus to see me off to Lokichoggio. - 1st person to fly in the family, that's why) 50???? More like 100!!!! Kuna watu wengine walikuwa airport na hata sikuwa nawajua!!! Lakini is all good.

 

16. You only wait for a specific mathree kwa sababu you jua utaenda Sare!!!! Enyewe Love Ryder (route 11), Explosive (23),Anita, Dice & 8 Miles are good Examples!!!!

 

17. Office supplies mysteriously find their way to your home.(Yes, scissors, biros, post-its,stapler ya mdosi,paper glue etc,etc.) Enyewe harsh economic times.

 

18. You don't buy a printer because it is cheaper to do it at your work place where it is free ama you use only the office telephone.

 

19. You wash your car on a Sunday. (Yeah reading the paper sitting on a kamawe in tu baggy shorts) even if you don't have, you usually spend most of yout time imagining that you have one.

 

20. Weddings never start at the appointed time. (three hours later,(African time:Better late than never) food is majimaji (kitoweo), salt is NEVER enough) Lakini I went for a hot wedding at Safari Park!! Kunao wana maendeleo.

 

 

21. You always lie about the ages of your children so that they don't have to pay higher admission fees."Hapana, haka katoto kangu ni kasweet sixteen"and yet he has beards all over. (Nairobi Show)

 

22. When you are young, your parents buy you clothes at least two types and too big so that they would last longer. (especially the lacy nylon ones in exhibitions when they are on promotion or end of month sales.With weird hats - yuk!)

 

23. At least one of your uncles is a teacher. (yeah Jaduong Obondo) So that you get free tuitions!!!

 

 

24. You have a 10 kg bag of rice in the kitchen. (Basmati from Mwea)

 

25. You always read the Sport sections of the Sunday newspapers first.

 

 

26 Nyinyi wasee ambao mnapenda kukatia mamanzi in mass!! I mean the ratio of chile to guys is 1: 10. Highwerians, Quotetians, Majamaa wa Sunshine, Caltex etc. I probably have touched a raw nerve. Kama umefura, piga sama ya nyuma!

 

 

27.And my favourite.... Chips at McFrys!!!!!,Kenchic!! na kwa wengine Luthuli,

 

Then I'm a real Kenyan and am proud of that. If you are one too, send it your friends.

[Thinkerman]

2. You don't have genuine containers or executive utensils,you only use margarine,ice-cream and yoghurt mikebes. (Blue band, Kasuku, Kimbo,mallo, Lyons Maid serve me well)

 

 

4. More than 90,sorry 95% of the music CD's and cassettes in your home are illegal or pirated copies. (done in Dubai,kariokor base or Rivarori) Na Kwambia mpaka zile CDs ninazo hapa ni pirated.

 

 

15. You never have less than 50 people to meet you at the airport or see you off even if it is a local flight. (Yeah, my relas from Gatanga have hired a minibus to see me off to Lokichoggio. - 1st person to fly in the family, that's why) 50???? More like 100!!!! Kuna watu wengine walikuwa airport na hata sikuwa nawajua!!! Lakini is all good.

There all so true but above are the ones i rember the most with much joy lol