I don't know whether you were joking about it being fictional, but if it isn't, you should really tell your friend to get tested quick. I would never trust a cheating person - if he did it once he could've done it before on the 'downlow'. Number two, if she doesn't have any children, she should fall to the ground and prostrate to Allah and kick his sorry a$$ to the curve. Then she should follow the saying 'living well is the best revenge'. But if she has children then I would advice her to divorce him (she should not set a bad example for her children and stay with an adulterer) and focus on her children. Then she should a get a cat to replace the man in her life. They rarely come when called, expect everything & only come when they need food and petting.

The racists amongst us were bound to show up. It was a matter of when.

Could it be the parenting of Boys is different to the girls, do parents teach girls more responsibilities while boys dont have much responsibilities while growing up? Ditto. As the saying goes, Idle hands are the devil's tools.

Zu man, you should be embarrased for using 'embarassed' in the wrong context. Lily, I can't imagine with their chicken legs & stick figure. Yikes. :eek:

Jealous much? And there is a difference between admiring and worshipping. Just sayin'.

Can't we just spend a few minutes in silence admiring the awesome beauty I posted above? Sheesh. :rolleyes:

Although I think men who dye their hair are weird and somewhat feminine; Bradley never looked hotter than with dark hair. Segsi.

First, congrats. Hope you have a speedy birth and recovery inshallah. Here is quite a list of Female Somali names I've found in the archieves. List of Male Arabic names with meanings List of Female Arabic names with meanings Good luck. Choosing a name for your child is very important and a huge responsiblity. I cannot imagine parents who are cruel and saddle their kids wierd names that would ensure them being permanently acquainted with the school bully's fist. Choose a name that will grow with them and suit them as a baby, a school kid, teenager, college student, employee, and spouse.

How about... Dear Malik: You are a pus filled lesion on the hairy a$$ of humanity. Respectfully yours, Ngonge

Caano Geel; Haven't heard or haven't seen? There is a big diff you know

Any woman in the world would look stunning if put on a mag - air brushing & photoshopping, hello?!. They make those models typically taller, leaner, with flawless complexions etc. *eye roll* The typical woman with stretchmarks, blemishes, buddha belly + hairy legs is no competition.

^Sounds nice. Where are you?

Every dollar you spend has consequences elsewhere in your life. Remembering that will change the ways you spend and save. By Dana Dratch, Bankrate.com Can you remember life before $100 sneakers and $5 coffee, when people actually lived on what they earned and still had a little something socked away for a rainy day? "People moan and groan about why they can't make do," says Michelle Singletary, author of "Seven Money Mantras for a Richer Life." "But if you look at your lifestyle, there's almost always a way to trim (costs) and make do with less." Singletary and her four brothers and sisters were raised by their grandmother, who earned a modest salary but owned her home and car and accumulated a nice savings and pension while providing well for her family. Cutting costs was more than a handful of tips, says Singletary. "It was a way of life." Her grandmother looked at potential purchases in terms of "what you could spend that money on that would put you in a position of not having to struggle," says Singletary. Like a fast-food meal out vs. allocating that money for the phone bill. "And I actually do that now myself," she says. "I ask, 'What are the consequences of spending this money?'" Looking for a loan? Check out MSN Money's Loan Center Track what goes out That approach, save automatically and spend selectively, is exactly what money experts and consumer advocates advise. To accomplish that, here are 13 strategies for living well on less: # Analyze your spending. Look closely at what you've spent for the last three to six months, says Ed Moore, CFP and president of Edelman Financial Services. "And look for spending (you) might regret." As you examine your expenditures, ask yourself, "What dollars satisfied a need, what dollars satisfied a want and which expenditures might not have satisfied either?" David Bach, author of "The Automatic Millionaire," says not to forget even your smallest purchases: Where do you spend small amounts of money on a daily basis? For many, it's something as seemingly insignificant as a few bucks for a cup of gourmet coffee, but it adds up. That doesn't mean you necessarily have to give up your java break. Bach says you do, however, need to change your thinking. Notice exactly now much you are spending and where. # Make a budget. "Without exception you have to do a written plan, called a budget," says Dave Ramsey, author of "The Total Money Makeover." Listeners to his national call-in radio show tell him once they make a budget, "they feel like they got a raise." The reason, he says, is "managed money works harder." But there's no one-size-fits-all budget. "It varies from month to month," Ramsey says. So sit down and plot how each dollar will be spent "on paper, on purpose before the month begins." (For more on budgeting basics, read "A simpler way to save: the 60% solution.") # Never pay retail. "Everything's negotiable," says Bach, who learned this money lesson from his grandmother. "Almost everywhere she went, she could talk the price down," he says. And that's still perfectly acceptable in many retail situations, he says. Also know when to shop. For example, buy clothing in season. That's when the retailers consider it past the season and put it on sale, says Clark Howard, co-author of "Clark's Big Book of Bargains." # Try store brands. "Every time somebody goes to the supermarket, I want them to try one more store brand," which Howard notes costs up to 40% less. "To get people to change everything isn't possible. But to get them to change one item at a time is less difficult." (You'll find other ways to save in "20 ways to slash your grocery bill.") # Buy used. New is nice, but for the best buy, think pre-owned. Bach points to the classic example of a used car. After two years of depreciation, you can get a good, high-quality car at virtually half price, says Bach. "And if you ever do buy a new one, plan on keeping it five to 10 years," he says. Whatever you're buying used, Ramsey says to focus on high-quality merchandise, "not torn up, junky or dirty." Secondhand shopping isn't just for those who have to watch their pennies, either. Ramsey recalls a millionaire friend who picked up a $38,000 Rolex for $18,000 from a reputable jeweler. "That's how he got to be a millionaire," Ramsey says. (M.P. Dunleavey has more thoughts on buying used in "Why first-class folks love second-hand stuff.") # Pay cash. "When you spend cash, it hurts," says Ramsey. "And you spend less." Ramsey recalls a study several years ago that showed when shoppers spend cash, "you spend 12% to 18% less than when you spend plastic because of the emotional pain." Plus, he says, you can get a better deal when you use cash as a negotiating tool. # Pick your credit card wisely. If you must use a credit card, make sure it's one that gives you something. Look for a no-fee card with a rewards program. Mark Oleson, director of the Financial Counseling Clinic at Iowa State University, recently signed up for a AAA-branded no-fee card that rebates 5% of all gas purchases. The credits are applied automatically to his account every month. Now he's getting $2 gallon gas for $1.90 without changing his buying behavior. (For an easy way to compare card rates and perks, try MSN Money's Credit Card Analyzer. ) # Shop around for auto insurance. You want your car protected, but make sure you get the most cost-effective coverage you can. Howard recounts one ecstatic caller to his radio show who compared rates and sliced his annual premium by $1,433. "That's the easiest money for someone to grab," he says. Anecdotally, Howard says, the typical savings by shopping around for better auto insurance rates is around $1,000. While you're at it, look at your coverage and deductibles on an annual or semiannual basis, says Oleson. Can you afford to raise the deductible to lower your premium? Are there any overlaps in your coverage that could be eliminated? (Learn more at our car insurance Decision Center.) # Dial up phone savings. Your cell phone certainly comes in handy, but is your plan really worth what you pay? "There are lots of people who sign up for calling plans for cell phones who don't need them," says Howard. He says a more economic choice might be a prepaid plan. Do you travel with your cell phone? Be sure you don't face roaming charges. A better telephone-travel move might be a discount calling card. "I'm a big believer," says Howard, who finds that the average per-minute price on the cards runs about 2.9 cents per minute, a far cry from regular or in-room long-distance charges. # Change your mortgage payment method. Make biweekly payments instead of monthly house payments. You don't change the amount; simply send in half a payment every two weeks. That means, says Bach, you make an extra payment every year and can slice nearly seven years off the average mortgage. # Use family and community resources. This is something that a lot of new parents discover when faced with the cost of expensive baby goods that their child soon will outgrow. "Rather than going out and buying a new crib, this and that, there's a lot of sharing," says Chris Farrell, author of "Right on the Money!" You can also do the same thing at other stages of life with furniture, appliances, electronics and clothing. Farrell employed the strategy to get rid of a fairly recent desktop computer when he switched to a laptop. "A lot of us are in situations where we spend money on something we wanted, but it's outgrown its usefulness," he says. "And someone else could get pleasure out of it." # Pay yourself first. Automatically transfer part of each paycheck to a retirement account before you get your take-home pay. "Learn from the government, which figured out years ago (people) can't budget," says Bach. His rule of thumb: Save one hour a day of your income each week. In addition to the longer-term retirement account, also save for short-term emergencies. How much? "I think (a salary contribution equal to) 30 minutes a day is a good start," says Bach. And while the goals of the two accounts are different, the savings method is the same: Pay yourself first. # Exercise restraint. Finally, call upon your willpower when it comes to spending. Want to save money on your phone bill? Hang up. Want to use less gas? Stay home. Do you really need a bread maker when you have an oven? Sometimes cutting costs really is just a matter of saying enough is enough. "As long as I can remember (growing up), I never ate out at fast food (places)," says Singletary. Why? Because her grandmother's motto was, "I have good food at home." That attitude helped Singletary's family flourish. And by using at least some of these strategies, you too could find that it really is possible to live well for less. (You'll find more perspectives on spending less in "How small cuts become huge savings.")

Dave Ramsey, financial author and host of a nationwide radio show, has created the following "Baby Steps" for getting yourself out of debt and putting your financial house on solid footing. Honestly, there are a lot of methods for trying to dig yourself out of financial problems, and this may not necessarily be the best one for you. (I preferred, for example, to pay off my debts according to their interest rates, from largest to smallest. But I guess I'm just a loner — a rebel — that way.) The "Baby Steps" are, however, a very workable plan for most folks. They're simple, straightforward, and just crazy enough to work. "The bottom line?" asks Ramsey. "It's easy to become wealthy if you don't have any payments." The best and most-detailed version available of these Baby Steps can be found in Ramsey's 2003 book The Total Money Makeover. I've reviewed Total Money Makeover, and recommend it highly if you are serious about following this plan, as the book addresses many intricacies which space here restricts me from covering. If you'd like to see another online write-up of these same guidelines, you can find it on the MSN Money message boards. 1. Make minimum payments on all your bills. Squeeze your budget until you've accumulated $1,000 cash. This is your beginner emergency fund. You'll never make headway in your quest to get out of debt if you don't have at least a little something to fall back on. That "little something" is called an Emergency Fund, and that's what this first $1,000 is for (or $500, if you make less than $20,000 per year). Put everything else on hold. Make only minimum payments on all your debts; take on a second job if necessary; forego retirement-plan contributions (temporarily) if you can. Get your emergency fund together first. Get it together fast. If you already have more than $1,000 in savings, and in anything other than a retirement account, withdraw everything except the $1,000. Use these proceeds for Baby Step #2, regardless of penalty (if the money were in CDs, for instance, there would like be a penalty for early withdrawal). Once you have accumulated the $1,000 (or $500), keep it someplace where you cannot easily get at it. It must be available, but not easily available, and not easily spendable. "Sometimes," Ramsey instructs, "you have to protect yourself from you." 2. Pay off your debts, smallest to largest. "Snowball" the payments. Write down all your debts except your home. (If you're into spreadsheets, something like my DebtTracker spreadsheet will come in really handy here!) Arrange them in order from smallest balance to largest. Do everything you can to pay off the smallest debt listed (take on a second job, or sell stuff if you have to!) while making minimum payments on everything else. Once that first debt is paid and gone, then "snowball" that monthly payment money over and apply it to the next-smallest debt (in addition to that debt's normal payment). When that one is paid off, then take that monthly payment amount and start applying it toward your next debt. Get the picture? The more debts you clear off, the more your "snowballed" payments are increasing, and the more headway you'll make — faster — on your larger balances. Ramsey writes: "The reason we list the debts from smallest balance to largest is to have some quick wins. This is where behavior modification is more important than math." One important caveat: If you're working on this second Baby Step and some emergency arises which forces you to spend any part of your emergency fund, immediately stop this step and return to Baby Step #1 until you've refunded your emergency fund in full. Check my "Debt Snowball" page for a more thorough discussion of this part of the Baby Steps. 3. Create a full-fledged emergency fund containing 3 to 6 months' worth of expenses. Bad luck and rainy days are a part of life. Expect them. Prepare for them. If you'll keep three to six months' worth of bills and living expenses in a savings or money-market account, then you'll have gone a long way toward erasing the "what if" stress from your life. The emergency fund allows your family to always be ready for whatever life hurls at you. Sure, that Murphy guy might still stop by your residence every so often, but he won't be able to run roughshod over your financial life the way he used to. Ramsey takes the analogy a step further: "Don't forget that the emergency fund actually acts as Murphy repellant." You must also flip a mental switch regarding your e-fund: It is there for bonafide emergencies. Nothing else. Ramsey elaborates: "Beware not to rationalize the use of your emergency fund for something that you should save for and purchase. Something on sale that you 'need' is NOT an emergency. Prom dresses and college tuition are NOT emergencies," he says. [Aside: This, of course, is where Mary Hunt's Freedom Account concept enters the picture.] In any event, get your full e-fund together, and you'll be in a financially-elite class. You won't need your credit cards any longer ... even for emergencies. And the next time your car's alternator detonates? "What used to be a huge, life-altering event," Ramsey says, "will now become a mere inconvenience." 4. Fully fund 15% into pre-tax retirement plans and Roth IRA, if eligible. Now it's time to get your retirement funds in shape. Contribute the maximum amount you can, your target being contributions of a full 15 percent of your household's gross (pre-tax) income. If you have tax-advantaged plans (401k or Roth IRA, for example) available to you, then exploit them to their fullest extent. If your company matches any part of your contributions, do not consider this as part of your 15 percent. Additionally, do not include expected Social Security benefits in your retirement calculations. "I don't count on an inept government for my dignity at retirement, and you shouldn't either," Ramsey says. At this point, if you haven't already done so, it is time to begin seriously educating yourself about mutual funds, stocks, and the financial markets. "Getting older is going to happen," Ramsey says. "You must invest now if you want to spend your golden years in dignity." 5. Take care of college funding. If you have kids, then you'll have college to worry about. The earlier you start, and the more attention and funding you're able to give to it, the better off you and your kids will be. Since college tuition inflation averages around 7 to 8 percent per year, your investments will need to (hopefully) do better than that. Always use tax-advantaged accounts (such as 529 plans or Education Savings Accounts) to their fullest extent to assist with this. These plans do have certain income limits and other restrictions and/or fees, so be sure to check the fine print before diving in. 6. Pay off your home . . . early. For most people, the mortgage payment is the single largest monthly payment they will ever have. Just imagine what you can do with that money when you've paid it off. Imagine how you'll feel when you make that last payment. Round up every spare dollar you can find and put it toward your mortgage, regardless of all the oft-quoted benefits of mortgage-interest tax deductibility. (How wise is it to continually pay, say, $5,000 in interest to a bank each year, just so that you won't have to pay $1,500 in taxes to the government? The small minority of folks who own their homes debt-free probably don't mind paying that $1,500 a bit.) For more comments regarding home, home loans, and their affordability, you might refer to my "Home, Expensive Home" article from Aug. 30, 2002. 7. Build wealth (mutual funds / real estate) and give! With every bit of your debt zeroed-out and your savings tanks on the full mark, you can finally reach for the "pinnacle" — that point where your money works harder than you do. Invest more so that you can continue to grow your wealth. Give more so that you can continue to grow your self. Source

When I first saw this on Oprah I laughed so hard at the stupidness of people who wasted their money on this crap...then I suddenly stopped laughing as I realized I could have made a shitload of money if I came up with this first!Gullible pple = wealth beyond measure. It's become the fastest-selling self-help book ever, but is The Secret doing more harm than good? So how does it work? Byrne says she first glimpsed the universe's deepest "secret" three years ago, soon after the death of her father, when her life was in chaos and she felt at her lowest ebb. "I began tracing The Secret back through history," she explains breathlessly in the foreword. "I couldn't believe all the people who knew this. They were the greatest people in history: Plato, Shakespeare, Newton, Hugo, Beet-hoven, Lincoln, Emerson, Edison, Einstein. Incredulous, I asked: 'Why doesn't everyone know this?' " Byrne duly became consumed by the idea of developing and disseminating this knowledge, with the intention of bringing "joy to billions around the world". Positive thinking has been around for centuries but, Byrne explains, it is not quite as simple as the exhortations about 'having to have a dream'. Allow me to elucidate. Summoning good things into your life - a new job, a fivebedroom house with garden or even a parking place - is, according to Byrne, simple. All you have to do is visualise what you want, focus on it and it will come - "exactly like placing an order from a catalogue". There are some refinements to the process. The innermost secret of The Secret is that you have to phrase your requests in the right way. This is apparently where many people go wrong. It is essential to be detailed in every particular. Byrne writes of a woman desperate for a boyfriend. She had visualised him - but he still failed to materialise. Byrne explains that he did not turn up because she had not made sufficient physical space for a man in her life. So she went to the garage and moved the car from the middle so as to leave room for her imaginary partner's, then cleared out half her wardrobe and began sleeping on one side of her double bed. And, hey presto, the right man soon came along. The other mistake people apparently make when ordering from the catalogue of life is not thinking positively enough. For example, if you have financial troubles and begin to panic about bills arriving in the post, then your negative thoughts will attract more bills and make the situation worse. Instead, you must focus on wealth - and that will come to you. Similarly, when you hit the shops with an up-to-the-limit credit card and a bank balance deep into overdraft territory, instead of saying you can't afford something, you must tell yourself: "I can afford that! I can buy that." I fear this may be how shopaholism begins, but Byrne insists that not only does such thinking make you feel better, it also creates material wealth. "Since the DVD of The Secret was released, we have received hundreds of letters from people who have said they have received unexpected cheques in the post." It seems unusual that a self-help book should take such an extreme hedonistic and self- centred view, but, according to Byrne, true happiness comes from putting yourself before others. She also assuages any concerns you might have about overt materialism with an unusual interpretation of the Bible - saying that Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses and Jesus were all millionaires, "with more affluent lifestyles than many present-day millionaires could conceive of". So far, so relatively harmless. But Byrne has a distinctly odd view on how this all works, even bringing in quantum physics in an attempt to give her theories a scientific depth. We are all, she states, "human transmission towers", emitting thoughts on a particular frequency and attracting "all like things that are on the same frequency". This is why, she says, if you think negative thoughts, then bad things will happen. The trouble is that if you extend this to its logical conclusion, then you not only have to believe that good things come to positive thinkers, but also that anyone who suffers only has themselves to blame. So, if someone is fat, is that their fault for thinking fat thoughts? Surely Byrne cannot believe so. Yes, she does. "A person cannot think thin thoughts and be fat." Byrne believes that if someone has cancer, they can cure themselves by laughing - which implies that the converse is also true; that their cancer has been caused by negative thinking. Astonishingly, she even says this outright: "Illness cannot exist in a body that has harmonious thoughts." So what about those caught up in wars, acts of terrorism and natural disasters? The hundreds of thousands killed in the Asian tsunami, the thousands who died on 9/11, the millions put to death in the Holocaust? Are we simply to assume it was all their own fault? Byrne sounds rather weary as she skirts round this subject in her book but, basically, her answer is an extraordinary yes. "By the law of attraction, they had to be on the same frequency as the event," she says, allowing only a small concession: "It doesn't necessarily mean they thought of that event." An interviewer on ABC's Nightline in America recently posed a similar question to Bob Proctor, one of the positive thinking experts quoted at length in Byrne's book. "Children in Darfur are starving to death," she pointed out. "Have they attracted that starvation to themselves?" Proctor replied: "I think the country probably has." Many of us would hesitate before making such sweeping statements, but Byrne seems to think that she - along with the rest of the human race - is not just superhuman, but also possessed of divine powers. "You are god in a physical body," she writes. "You are the creator." It strikes me that one person, and one person only, has truly benefitted from Byrne's positive thinking and visualisation theories - and that's the woman who tapped out this volume dreaming of earning millions. Byrne must now be earning royalties from every single one of those multi-million sales. Source

Kimiya, Say, go ask your father/mother/uncle/grandparent and watch them squirm

Being gay is one sin out of many being commited every single second anywhere. Why don't you blast everyone around you including yourself? Save your rage and go to Iraq or Somalia and do something constructive with it.

Cool Wedding dance

I can't believe ya'll find this funny. I feel sorry for this poor man. I hope he find what he's yearning for.

Driest city? My outfit isn't complete without an umbrella honey. In fact in november, it rained 23 days out of the month. Anyway, your defensive. Do you indentify with my statement. hehehe

Europe has always been full of trash. No argument there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPsy_RD5dTA

I wonder if women raising boys with no primary male caregiver is leading to this influx of 'metrosexual' man-childs (single, divorced, widowed, never-married mothers with sole custody).

There is, apparently, a resurgence of manliness in America. Superman has returned to the big screen and unshaven, testosterone-charged film stars such as Colin Farrell no longer look socially marginalised. The A To Z Of Manliness, a compendium of tips on such matters as how to punch properly, is number two on the New York Times bestseller list, while a rash of academic books on the importance of real men have added fuel to the fire. The Boston Globe recently summed up the phenomenon: "We're in the middle of a Menaissance." Years of feminism, which insists on the absolute interchangeability of the traditional roles of man and woman, are giving way to a reassertion of the male attribute of machismo, it is claimed. The metrosexual, that urbanised, sensitive, emotionally and physically androgynous model of 21st-century manhood, is dead. What is manliness? All hail the modern caveman. But wait a minute. Before we even ask what kind of man modern women really want, how exactly are we defining manliness? My dictionary lists "courage, valour and energy" as key characteristics of the manly man. But by that measure, my wife, who has gone through the horror of childbirth and who runs a family of six, is more of a man than me. Nor can we equate Superman with Colin Farrell as fellow icons of the new American manliness. Superman is discreet about his gifts, he is modest, he wears a suit when not saving the world (when he opts for the kiss curl and tights). Mr Farrell is an indiscreet wildman. Manliness should not be confused with machismo. I will give you an example. Years ago, I was on the family ranch in Argentina with my uncle, leaning on a fence, the other side of which stood a huge Brahman bull. The bull was in a tetchy mood because his testicles were dragging along the floor and had become infected. My uncle, with a twinkle in his eye, handed a spray can of disinfectant to his foreman, a strutting, mustachioed gaucho, and asked him to apply it to the infected area. A look of horror flitted across the foreman's eyes, but then he thrust out his chin, squared his shoulders and, before my uncle could stop him, jumped the fence and sprayed the bull before walking away nonchalantly. "Que macho (what a man)," I exclaimed. "That wasn't macho," said my uncle. "That was ******. A real man would have told me to f*** off." Machismo gets you stabbed in bars "for looking at my bird", or flattened by the 10: 15 to Euston during a drunken game of chicken with your mates. Manliness is not braggadocio. It is stoicism, self-respect, decisiveness, assertiveness. Of course, advocates of the Menaissance may argue that we shouldn't be too concerned about what kind of a man women want these days. Isn't that, they would say, the way we arrived at simpering metrosexuals desperate to please their other halves? And yet it's instructive to consider that a woman's understanding of manliness tends to be very different from a man's. My wife and daughter are fixated by the American drama Lost, in which a group of people stranded on a remote island after a plane crash battle to stay alive against sinister forces. They frequently confer on which male characters are the sexiest, and in doing so make the perfect distinction between machismo and manliness. The men they say they would fall in love with are not the washboard-stomached firebrands, but rather the ones most able to protect them and provide for them in those inhospitable surroundings. These characters are possessed of a calm stoicism, and a desire to look after the weakest first. This judgment by my wife and daughter does not indicate fluffy submissiveness, but cool pragmatism. Their heroes are not to be found blubbing on a football pitch like half the England team, or taking part in the orchestrated grieving that has become an integral part of British national life. It is the atavistic desire to provide for those you love that forms the basic building block of manliness. It has existed since the physically stronger sex travelled the plains in search of meat for the family and it continued until the rise of feminism in the 1960s, a movement which would have us believe that men and women are biological and emotional clean slates, each possessed of identical and interchangeable faculties when it comes to work, life and family. This is the lunacy that allows women fighter pilots to get aloft even though a man is more effective in combat because his stronger frame better protects him from G-forces. It is the feminist orthodoxy that renders my wife faintly embarrassed when she owns up to being a housewife. It is the notion that children do not need fathers. 'Feminists bearing pitchforks' Up and down America, feminists bearing torches and pitchforks are on the trail of Harvey Mansfield, a Yale University professor whose book, Manliness, laments: "We are in the process of making the English language gender neutral, and 'manliness', the quality of one gender, or rather of one sex, seems to describe the essence of the enemy we are attacking, the evil we are eradicating." He continues: "Feminism needs to come to terms with manliness. I think women are confused about what they want men to be and that leads to male confusion." Mansfield believes there are stark differences between the sexes, and that they should be celebrated. If those manly attributes are hard to pin down, most women tend to know them when they see them. A straw poll of the wives and mothers in my small Kent community offered up the following characteristics. A real man is chivalrous and emotionally robust and mature. He is modest, does not wear his heart on his sleeve, and is dutiful to wife or lover, and to family. A real man provides for and protects those he loves. All those attributes that allowed men to drag down mammoths for their families and communities in prehistoric times - aggression, competitiveness, decisiveness - still survive and govern the most basic aspects of sexual attraction, marriage and child rearing. This does not make a man superior, but underpins the fact that men and women complement each other, bringing unique gifts to the business of ensuring the survival of the species. It was the caveman who went about the rather unsophisticated business of killing the mammoth and dragging it home, but it was the cavewoman who turned it into food and clothes. Feminism, as Prof Mansfield suggests, has sought to eradicate one vital side of this equation. The result is a confused hotchpotch of duties and responsibilities, and the emergence of what has been untidily dubbed the metrosexual male - tieless, depilated, sarong-clad and permanently engaged in the exhausting business of anticipating feminine disgruntlement. So what hopes for a Menaissance in this country? Although I have serious doubts about America's ability to distinguish between manliness and machismo, it is still a far more manly place than Britain. Just look at our cultural icons. We worship the cry-baby Beck-ham, hairless, smothered in costly unguents, neurotically self-aware. We hang on to every syllable uttered by the mindless, spoiled and usually gay men in the Big Brother house. The Yanks have Superman, Stormin' Norman Schwarzkopf and former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani. Here, the Tory leader makes sage pronouncements on the evils of chocolate oranges and four-wheel-drive vehicles, not to mention the respect and deference due to hooded youths as they happy-slap their way across Britain. And there are greater cultural differences which mean that the so-called Menaissance may be a long time coming to these shores. First, while America is still a Christian country, Britain is post-Christian. As the historian Michael Burleigh has said, the Anglican Church is little more than an 'echo chamber' for the latest purely secular moral, political and social trends. In the Christian tradition, the man has a set of immutable duties towards wife and family that cannot be overlooked, and these duties rest on the ethics of personal responsibility, morality and, overriding all this, a responsibility to provide for the family. How dramatically those duties have been eroded. Secondly, in Britain we have lived for more than 50 years under the umbrella of an all-powerful welfare state. This is a good thing in that it protects the weakest, but bad in that our taxation and redistributive structures have served to stamp out that key element of manliness - self-betterment and provision for those you are responsible for. Why bother working? Why bother marrying and remaining faithful to wife and family if a single mother on benefits garners more than a low-paid married couple with one child, both of whom work? In meritocratic America, where welfare is harder to get, self-betterment is a constituent part of staying fed and housed. Men cannot afford to be feckless. If they don't help themselves, no one will. And America, it must be remembered, is a country which still venerates male icons: heroes such as Jim Bowie are loved because the nation's history is force-fed to the young in schools. Here, the devaluation of our history curriculum and the rejection of our imperial past, which still forms a deep part of the national psyche, have left our young men with no sense of heroes and heroism. And yet there are occasional green shoots pushing through the surface in the battle to reassert manliness in Britain. Much has been made of the best-selling tome The Dangerous Book For Boys, which in its introduction says that "in this age of video games and mobile phones there must still be a place for knots, tree houses and stories of incredible courage". The book seeks to allow fathers and sons to enjoy enterprises such as the building of go-karts. I remember the authors being quizzed on Radio 4 by Mariella Frostrup, who, it soon became apparent, was somewhat hostile to the notion that the activities described should be the sole preserve of males. The authors Conn and Hal Iggulden were sent into parox-isms of denial that their book was in any way sexist. I remember thinking that if you write a book about manly things, you should be ready to defend it in a manly way. Their response should have been: "Boys and girls are different, Mariella. Get over it." Instead they were borne under by the sheer weight of BBC political correctness. What a pair of wets. The sad thing is that Mariella represents the consensus. A while ago, a young lad came to play with one of my sons. They spent the whole day in pitched battles with toy guns. When his parents arrived to take him home, their faces dropped. They told us they did not allow him to play with guns, and marched him off for a dinner of nut cutlets and yoghurt. Poor little fellow. The feminist lobby, which has achieved much for women over the past 40 years, must take its foot off the accelerator. It is established beyond doubt that men and women are equal in all fields ranging from human dignity to employment rights, but this must not be allowed to evolve into the idea that men and women are the same. Men must learn to reclaim manliness, not in the machismo mould of previous generations, but in a modern incarnation that will serve as an anchor in the shifting sands of today's gender politics. source

Lily agree with you! I think wearing Indian or any other national dress is weird too! Come people, you can do better than that! [edit] I'm hyper and going crazy with exclamations!!!