NGONGE;779446 wrote: Talk about speaking AFTER the event! ان شاء الله عمي (عوض دوخي) تأمرني على شيء تاني

Malika;779435 wrote: ^The moral of the story is? :] Welcome to SOL. you don't think that calling for Division to small countries Instead of big somali will cuz weakness of power.

Recent events in somalia just remind me in the small stone a poem by Ilya Abu Madi. the story of a small stone that was part of a big dam, which secured a village from flooding. One day, the stone started to think of its role in life. It questioned whether it played an important role at all in the dam since it was surrounded by big rocks who were doing the bulk of the work. After much thought, the stone came to the conclusion that it wasn’t an important part of the dam at all so it jumped into the stream. The small stone left a tiny leak in the spot where the stone once sat. Slowly but surely, the leak grew and grew and finally the dam collapsed and the village flooded.

I actually decided to write about this because I read somewhere that somalis ( especially women) make up the largest group of “unmarried” in some arab nations. I believe on everything is fate, I believe as a muslim in the concept of “qadar” or predetermined destiny. but it mast be some resons for that!

Carafaat;778413 wrote: that you are member of Duriyada, we expected. As no other Somali's prag around with their clan(except for the O people). But we need to your sub-clan(which habar) and your gender, please. you not feeling that you going out of topic

ok guys i am proud be issaq, It wasn't hateful, it wasn’t saying I’m better than you, it’s just a lineage, and you can say a family name that I carry.

For me It shouldnt be a taboo, and came from family which part of them are mixed tribes. Honestly for me it has never been a big deal what my tribe is, nor have I ever judged anyone on what their tribe is. However, I would hear stories about the history of different tribes, and I found that to be fascinating. Even in Islam, tribes are accepted, as Allah says he made us into many nations and tribes to know each other, so we need to definitely think the more it’s openly discuss in a way of learning from each other, not complete denial. salaam

Father has a prime role to play in the life of his daughter. He is the first male that a girl comes across and hence, becomes the role model of her life. She sees the reflection of men in the rest of the world, through her dad and often perceives that all men should be like her father. Right from her childhood to adolescence to adulthood, he plays an influential role in her life. He is the guide, the savior, the protector, a friend and most importantly, the ultimate caretaker, who nourishes her in the loving and protective atmosphere set by him. She would find her daddy assuming a multi-faceted role, which changes with changing phases of life. Although fathers are bestowed a primary role in their daughter's life, many of them don't realize the importance of interactions with their daughters, especially when the girls surpass the stage of childhood and become adolescent. The most common reason behind this is common perception of the men, according to which, their role as the 'significant parent' is just limited to the childhood of their daughters, and doesn't go beyond it. They think that their daughters have become too old to get closer. As a result, they tend to withdraw from the prime role of the parent and handover it to their significant half - their daughter's mother. Fathers find themselves drift apart from their adolescent daughter, especially when it comes to sharing the best kept girly secrets. Their daughters think that not everything can be disclosed to their father and resort to their mother for the purpose. Communication for a father becomes even more difficult, when the girl reaches adulthood. Parenting issues for him become a bit complicated, especially when the girl reaches adulthood and transforms from merely a girl to a woman. At this stage of life, she finds her mother to take the lead (as the parent), when it comes to interacting with parents. Although a girl needs her mother the most at this point of time, fathers should realize that their role as a parent is never over and that the girl still needs her dad. Gender difference is a major factor for such a situation. However, the issues pertaining to interaction of father with his grown up girl can be easily resolved. All it needs is the clear understanding of the fact that the girl has matured and needs to be freed from being nestled by fatherhood. However, the father should not forget that all through his daughter's life, he is one among the significant men in her life and that his role as a parent never ends. If he manages to mark his pronounced presence in every stage of life of his daughter, then the relationship with his daughter can prove to be the best of all.

We need to stop sitting back pointing the finger all the time. If we spent as much time trying to better our country as we did blaming each other, we would all live in peace and happiness; sadly, that is not the case. For years, we have experienced the hate for eachother , things are going to continue to get worse unless we step up as a people and try to change our self. we need to accept our past,and believe that it is not too late to change . We can not change the whole satuation, but if we try, we can find a cure for our sickness ( qabiil).

WIFE AND HUSBAND. (This is the best and most civil way to have a fight between husband and wife instead of resorting to physical force...(dpb) WIFE: I wrote your name on sand it got washed. I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack. HUSBAND: God saw me hungry, he created pizza. He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi. He saw me in the dark, he created light. He saw me without problems, he created YOU. WIFE: Twinkle twinkle little star You should know what you are And once you know what you are Mental hospital is not so far. HUSBAND: The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass and flowers too. If rain makes all things beautiful Why doesn't it rain on you? WIFE: Roses are red; Violets are blue Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo. Don't feel so angry you will find me there too Not in cage but outside, laughing at you (¨`·.·´¨) Always `·.¸(¨`·.·´¨) Keep (¨`·.·´¨)¸.·´ Smiling! `·.¸.·´ (¨`·.·´¨) (¨`·.·´¨) `·.¸(¨`·.·´¨)¸.·´ `·.¸.·«*:·. .·:* *:·. *«*:·. .·:*

Che -Guevara;777169 wrote: This looks like survey. Most people either hurry through without thinking or lie about surveys. you 100% right, but you will not only depend in his/ her answers, you need to ask about him/her to make sure they are not lying.

frist i would like to say thanks Bluelicious for your nice topic(How To Be A Good Husband/ Wife To Your Wife/ Husband), you encouraged me to post this topic today.1) What is your concept of marriage? 2) What are you expectations of marriage? 3) What are your goals in life? (Long and short term) 4) What is the role of religion in your life now? 5) What is your relationship with your family? 6) Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.) 7) What are the things that you do in your free time? 8) Do you want to have child in first year of marriage? 9) do you have any health problem? 10)Are you volunteering in any Islamic/ community activities? just don't get freaked out... and please have some mercy on your prospective husband/wife, don't ask the questions all at once cuz he/she may run way just kidding. Enjoy! Salaam

Carafaat;776701 wrote: garbage. Did you read the book? If not , Don’t criticize what you did not read.

three months ago while I was browsing at the local bookstore, I picked up Desert Flower.the life story of somaliain Model Waris Dirie who grew up as a nomad in Somalia, ran way from home in age of 14. With no english language skill, no formal education and not much of external support, and then became a model & UN Ambassador. After a long time reading, I can say the book deserve to read because it is well writtene and story is told in simple way the only comment in book is giving imagination that all somali men are rapists based on the several rape attempts Waris had from age 5 till she ran way in age 14 which is wrong. .

Naxar Nugaaleed;776651 wrote: Am afraid we can't tell you how arabs feel about Somalis because this is a Somali Forum. the correct question should be how do Somalis feel about arabs. walaalo, some somalis like to hate every things even they hate other somalis and if you ask them they will say yes we do without any reasons.

Chimera;776646 wrote: Samjamaa, we are what my Bladland brother Polanyi would define as; the Cushitic and Islamic tribes of ancient Opone . Get with the program sister. so you disagree that Somalis are african arab. but why?!

is it true that Arabs hate Somalis so much...? i raised and living in arab country but i never feel they hate us. Somalis always saying we are acting like Arabs, we not we just acting like muslims. i always hear arabs asking me are you Arabs or African? espical when they heard our language the weird thing that when i went to somalia somalis used to call me arab girl cuz i came from arab country. what i like to say is Arabs don't hate Somalis, If a small group of Arabs hates them but not all the Arabs, and yes we are african -arabs.

Nin-Yaaban;776578 wrote: And to think this new generation of Somali kids are our future...? Damn shame. don't blame them, balme their parents.

somalia & NGONGE: don't take it personal and both of you need self confidence. I must say that a man with a lower degree in education married to a woman with a higher degree of education can create some instability in a marriage. The man may feel he is not bringing in the most money as society may put it. I can also see why a couple, with both of them having degrees in higher education, marriage could last longer because they really wouldn't have to deal with the financial hardship that lower educated couples do. In other hand my cousin when she married her husband both were equal in education( both only finished high school) but she decided to continue and he supported her till she finished BA, and they still living happy life. they let me believe that men and women benefit equally through the love in their relationship some times

What do you girls thinking about education in a relationship? girls, would you be able to accept that your husband has lower education? Say, the man finished high school and the woman finished master's degree.

this is reality of some educated som man who is living in west, but he might be better then those who are unemployed,hanging out in coffee shops for chatting while their wives alone taking care of children, like .......... just see the next example: Ahmed is unemployed father of seven. He lives in a subsidized housing with his family in which he does not pay a single dime for rent. He chose to be unemployed; Ahmed would rather spend every minute of his life hanging out in coffee shops, barber shops, or outside Somali malls chatting his life away about the misfortunes that are going on in Somalia than look for meaningful employment that can sustain him and his family. Not only does he not pay for rent, but Ahmed has learnt all the nooks and crannies of milking the system, he does not also pay for food and groceries for his family, and all utilities are also taken care of thanks to his “generous” host country. Ahmed portrays himself as the most devout, God fearing Muslim one will ever encounter, yet he lies through his teeth to obtain all the benefits he can get his hands on. As the saying goes: Birds of a feather flock together- and so do Ahmed and his unemployed buddies. They usually begin their mornings in the coffee shops, at times even arriving earlier than the owner. They discuss fiercely about the war and they update themselves with the latest news from back home with BBC and VOA. They talk mercilessly and endlessly about the killings and mayhem in Mogadishu not to mention the suicide bombings ripping through graduations and market places. They only break for the prayer and resume through lunch to pick up where they left off- who killed who today? How many people died? How many ships did the pirates hijack and which pirates obtained the highest ransom…. All the while Ahmed’s children keep asking their mum when is Aabe coming home to spend time with us. His wife Halimo tries her best to calm the kids down promising them that Aabe will be coming home soon, but unfortunately Ahmed always comes late in the night when the children have already gone to bed. And so the sad story of the absentee father continues to chronicle the many lives of Somali children as they continue to fail in schools without any support from home. Mom is too busy taking care of children and doing all the household chores, and dad, beloved Aabe Ahmed is busy chatting his life away. He is neither helping his family nor the people he talks about incessantly. No amount of yearning from Halimo and the children will enable Ahmed to stay home and spend some quality time with his family. His shift will begin tomorrow morning; bright and early at his favorite coffee shop- Mogadishu Café-. this is another example in same artical.

Hirsi Maxamed, a father of two children lives in Minneapolis in a suburb outside the city. He obtained his Bachelor degree in Education at Lafoole University during the heyday of Somalia (free tuition, thanks to Somali government). He graduated at the top of his class and was lucky enough to obtain a scholarship to continue with his education in the United States. He was admitted to New York University in the mid 1980’s to complete his master’s degree in education and after completion of his degree, he decided to prolong his stay in the U.S. in order to get his doctorate. He was completely dedicated to the program and eagerly awaited for the day he would go back home to Somalia to put all the skills and knowledge he had gained to good use. Unfortunately, the civil war erupted in Somalia just as Hirsi completed his PhD program. Although Hirsi was miles, oceans, and continents apart from the chaos and disorder of the civil war, he took it close to heart and all the civilian unrest and mayhem of the war have in many ways traumatized him. Hirsi is not only an avid reader who keeps up with current events, but he also understands deeply the geopolitics of the world. Unlike Yahye, he is a man who the job needs. He lives with his two children and wife in upper income neighborhood in the city. Hirse lives a city with sizable Somali populations, but he does not interact with the Somalis, call it class. If you ask Hirsi what is happening in Somalia, he will give you a lengthy lecture on the demise of the Somali state and blatantly inform you that all the men who are running Somalia are incompetent and power-hungry. Unfortunately, if you ask him for alternatives to the status quo, or sacrifice he is willing to make to bring about the change he envisions, it would not be long time, before Hirsi becomes speechless. Hirsi’s main focus is on his two children. He has enrolled both of them in private schools and has big dreams for them to attend Ivy League school. He decided not to teach them Somali or associate with other Somali children and has completely alienated from anything that has to do with Somali culture or history. He does not see any rhyme or reason he should teach his children Somali language since he believes deeply it would do them no good. His thought process is rooted to the fact he speaks flawless Somali and can recite poetry by the great Somali poets and it has brought him no good and therefore, he does not want to waste his time teaching his children Somali. What good will it truly bring them anyway? His children refer to him as daddy and not Abe and as days turn to nights, nights to weeks, weeks to months and months to years, they continue to shed off completely any traces of their Somali identity. Hirsi’s dream of going back to the motherland and rebuilding schools and giving Somali children the same educational opportunities his kids have seems to be fading away every moment and turning into a distant thing far, far away in the horizon. - part of artical by Omar Abdullahi Aden Feb. 09, 2011

One of the ways in which Islam has honoured woman is by giving her the right to choose her husband. Her parents have no right to force her to marry someone she dislikes. For example the report quoted by Imam Al-Bukhaari from al-Khansa' bint Khidam: "My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the Messenger of Allah . He said to me: `Accept what your father has arranged.' I said, `I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.' He said, `Then this marriage is invalid, go and marry whomever you wish.' I said, `I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter's matters (i.e. they have no right to force a marriage on them).'"2 At first, the Prophet told al-Khansa' to obey her father, and this is as it should be, because the concern of fathers for their daughters' well-being is well-known. But when he realized that her father wanted to force her into a marriage she did not want, he gave her the freedom to choose, and saved her from the oppression of a father who wanted to force her into an unwanted marriage. According to a report given by Al-Bukhaari from Ibn `Abbas, she said, "I do not blame Thabit for anything with regard to his religion or his behaviour, but I do not like him." Islam has protected woman's pride and humanity, and has respected her wishes with regard to the choice of a husband with whom she will spend the rest of her life. see this another example repored by Ibn `Abbas who said: "Barirah's husband was a slave, who was known as Mughith. I can almost see him, running after her and crying, with tears running down onto his beard. The Prophet said to `Abbas, `O `Abbas, do you not find it strange, how much Mugith loves Barirah, and how much Barirah hates Mughith?' The Prophet said (to Barirah), `Why do you not go back to him?' She said, `O Messenger of Allah, are you commanding me to do so?' He said, `I am merely trying to intervene on his behalf.' She said, `I have no need of him.'"4 The Prophet was deeply moved by this display of human emotion: deep and overwhelming love on the part of the husband, and equally powerful hatred on the part of the wife in the other hand he could not help but remind the wife, and ask her why she did not go back to him, as he was her husband and the father of her child. The Muslim woman who understands the teachings of her religion has wise and correct standards when it comes to choosing a husband. She does not concern herself just with good looks, high status, a luxurious lifestyle or any of the other things that usually attract women. She looks into his level of religious commitment and his attitude and behaviour, because these are the pillars of a successful marriage, and the best features of a husband. Islamic teaching indicates the importance of these qualities in a potential husband, as Islam obliges a woman to accept the proposal of anyone who has these qualities, lest fitnah and corruption become widespread in society: "If there comes to you one with whose religion and attitude you are satisfied, then give your daughter to him in marriage, for if you do not do so, fitnah anmischief will become widespread on earth."5 Just as the true Muslim young man will not be attracted to the pretty girls who have grown up in a bad environment, so the Muslim young woman who is guided by her religion will not be attracted to ****** "play-boy" types, no matter how handsome they may be. Rather she will be attracted to the serious, educated, believing man who is clean-living and pure of heart, whose behaviour is good and whose understanding of religion is sound. No-one is a suitable partner for the good, believing woman except a good, believing man; and no-one is a suitable partner for the wayward, immoral woman but a wayward, immoral man, as Allah (subhaanahu wa 'ta'aalaa) has said: Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure, and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity . . . (Qur'aan 24:26) In order to achieve this great goal of strengthening the marriage bond, and establishing a stable family life, it is essential to choose the right partner in the first place.

Bluelicious;774410 wrote: True well said. On first place somali and then on second place the world language english. why arabic language not be the second one?! we are muslims need to learn arabic to read Quran or..... what you think?

RaMpAgE;774408 wrote: Hopefully sooner the later, within the next few years, home is where the heart is. i born and raised out of somalia but when i went there last july , i fall in love to my home country, i started to collect money so soon i can make my own business inshaa allah