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Sophist

Chemistry + He;ll

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Sophist   

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington

 

chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the

 

professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet.

 

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs

 

heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law

 

(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

 

One student, however, wrote the following:

 

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need

 

to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which

 

they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to

 

Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

 

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different

 

Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that

 

if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there

 

is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more

 

than one religion, we can therefore project that all souls will go to Hell.

 

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in

 

Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the

 

volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature

 

and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand

 

proportionately as souls are added.

 

This gives two possibilities:

 

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter

 

Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until "all

 

Hell breaks loose".

 

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,

 

then the temperature and pressure will drop until "Hell freezes over".

 

So which is it?

 

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year,

 

"it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into

 

account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be

 

true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen

 

over.

 

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows

 

that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving

 

only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains

 

why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

 

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A" !

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Curly   

If that was my exam question I would have answered that hell is both exothermic and endothermic. Because Islamic teaching say that hell does freeze over at times. I not sure about it competely but I have been told that hell has two seasons.

 

But one I thing am sure about is that joke definately had me laughing!

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