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Warrior of Light

Feeling Guilty

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People can ask doctors weird things. Some doctors see weird things.

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A young woman took her troubles to a psychiatrist. "Doctor, you must help me," she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date a nice guy, I end up in bed with him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week."

 

"I see," nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter."

 

"For God's sake, NO!" exclaimed the woman. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward."

 

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When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the physiatrist began his therapy session, "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning."

 

"Of course." replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth....

 

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In a psychiatrist's waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, "Why are you here?"

 

The second answers, "I'm Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here."

 

The first is curious and asks, "How do you know that you're Napoleon?"

 

The second responds, "God told me I was."

 

At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, "NO I DIDN'T!"

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Extra Effort

 

I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist when early in the morning I received a call from his office:I had been rescheduled for early that morning at 9:30AM. I had just packed everyone off to work and school and it was around 8:45. The trip to his office usually took about 35 minutes so I didn't have any time to spare. As most women do, I'm sure, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So I rushed upstairs, threw off my dressing gown, wet the washcloth and gave myself a wash in "that area" in front of the sink, taking extra care to make sure that I was presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment. I was in the waiting room only a few minutes when he called me in. Knowing the routine, as I am sure you all do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended I was in Hawaii or some other place a million miles away from here. I was a little surprised when he said: "My...we have taken a little extra effort this morning, haven't we?", but I didn't respond. The appointment over, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day went normal, some shopping, cleaning and the evening etc. At 8:30 that evening my 14 year-old daughter was fixing to go to a school dance, when she called down from the bathroom, "Mom, where's my washcloth?" I called back for her to get another from the cabinet. She called back, "No I need the one that was here by the sink. It had all my glitter and sparkles in it."

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so she rubbed the glitters and the sparkles on her self...no wonder the doctor said you had taken some extra effort..looooooool that was funny sade

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loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

Oh my god.

 

"My...we have taken a little extra effort this morning, haven't we?"

 

loooooooool. subxan'allah. how embarassing.

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