Jokes

[Ismahan]

Car Accident 1

 

It seems 3 guys were travelling in a car together, an industrial quality control expert, a hardware engineer, and a software engineer. As they were going down a VERY steep hill, they realized the brakes were out and they faced certain death.

 

The QC expert said,"no problem, we'll put together a work group, study the problem, make a fishbone diagram and come up with suggestions about how to solve this problem."

 

The hardware engr said, "That'll take too much time, we'll DIE!! I think I can dismantle the ignition system, find out the problem and cross wire the brake system so we can stop the car."

 

The software engr just said, "What's the big deal? Instead of getting upset, why don't we just push the car back up the hill and see if if happens again?"

 

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Car Accident 2

 

A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a meeting in Switzerland. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The car's occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do?

 

"I know", said the Departmental Manager, "Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way."

 

"No, no", said the Hardware Engineer, "That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I've got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way."

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Job Interview

 

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $75,000 a year, depending on the benefit's package."

 

The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"

 

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"

 

And the HR Person said, "Of course, ...but you started it."