Romantic Moments - Tony Hoagland

MellowBird · March 2, 2012

Romantic Moment

After seeing the documentary we walk down Canyon Road,

Into the plaza of art galleries and high end clothing stores

Where the mock orange is fragrant in the summer light

And the smooth adobe walls glow fleshlike in the dark.

It is just our second date, and we sit down on a bench,

Holding hands, not looking at each other,

And if I were a bull penguin right now I would lean over

And vomit softly into the mouth of my beloved

And if I were a peacock I’d flex my gluteal muscles to

Erect and spread the quills of my cinemax tail.

If she were a female walkingstick bug she might

Insert her hypodermic probiscus directly into my neck

And inject me with a rich hormonal sedative

Before attaching her egg sac to my thoracic undercarriage,

And if I were a young chimpanzee I would break off a nearby treelimb

And smash all the windows in the plaza jewelry stores.

And if she was a Brazilian leopardfrog she would wrap her impressive

Tongue three times around my right thigh and

Pummel me softly against the surface of our pond

And I would know her feelings were sincere.

Instead we sit awhile in silence, until

She remarks that in the relative context of tortoises and igunanas,

Human males seem to be actually rather expressive

And I say that female crocodiles really don’t receive

Enough credit for their gentleness,

Then she suggests that it is time for us to go

To get some ice cream cones and eat them.

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