Nurtel Essays, Critical-but- Humorous

[Nur]

The Somali Anarchist Union and the American Liars Association are worried about the developments taking place in the Horn of Africa, The American Liars Association representative in the region was selected for the color of her skin, she is chocolaty brown, as a black woman and a grand daughter of Kunte Kinte, she would like to see Anarchy sustained just to cover up for the political blunders of her other Black female boss, a top diplomat trained on how to lie, and with a PhD to quell any doubts about her abilities to cleverly deceive and mislead.

 

The Somali Anarchist Association is now in control of a town the size of Guantanamo Bay(dhabo), which coincidentally is equivalent to the credibility level of the American liars Association in the international community of its intentions and adventures.

 

Soon to come, the joint communique.

 

 

Cag Bakayle

Cheif Anarchist

Baidoa, Somalia

[Nur]

HELP WANTED

 

Job Openning: International Anarchy Development

 

 

Title: Dictator

Country: Iraq, Somalia and few other countries

Compensation: To Be negotaited

Job Description:

 

Incumbent is expected to fulfill all the orders fo the US President in the country of appointment.

 

Must wear long mustache and lotts of facial hair.

 

Must appear in TV like an enemy of the US

 

Must hold a Guantanamo Standard Certificate for Torture skills.

 

Killing of political opponents at close range without remorse ( UN Human Rights forbids eating the opponents for lunch)

 

Must love the cameras and American Women.

 

Must be able to unite Shia and Sunna and Kurds in Iraq, and Qansax and Qurac in Somalia, by inventing a new idealogy to replace religion, like Baath Party.

 

Must carry out proxy regional wars on US behalf as needed, including, but not limited to gas bombing villages, etc.

 

Must be a Certified Professional Liar. ( American Professional Liars Association), preferably the Winner or the runner up Politicians, for the coveted Pinocchio Award for 2006.

 

 

If you know any qualified person for this position please contact, the Office of Condoleeza Rice ( IAD) for internation Anarchy Development.

 

 

Miss Piggy

 

For the Anarchist Magazine.

 

Baidoa, Southern Somalia

[Nur]

Breaking News:

 

 

Anarchy Under Attack At Baidoa ( last Stronghold of Anarchists)

 

 

The UIC is attacking the only remaining town of the Somali Anarchist Association. The UN, an organization funded by the Professional American Liars Association, has hastely approved deployment of African Troops to legitimize the already-on-site fighting Tigree troops on behalf of the American Liars Association who is suffering from evil Zionist and Neocon Spirits that it cant get rid off without a heated excorcism on wars and death of civilians worldwide.

 

The Neocon possessed body of the American Liars Asssociation in need of violent excorcism ( America is possessed by a Neocon Demon of the Zionist Strain, who sees Islam as its enemy in Palestine and the world) has given the green lights to maintain Anarchy in Somalia by dispatching the Tigree troops of Ethiopia, to give a hand to the Last remaining pocket of the Somali Anarchists and Warlords holed up at Biadoa.

 

The American Liars are cautioning the Tigree invaders that America is running out of credible lies, the world is waking up to many of its lies, which will threaten the future of Somali Anarchy, so a quick victory over the islamists is important to Cofe Anan, who represents a body of International Liars who agreed that anyone who can prove the ability to commit mass murder by nuking peope to powder has the VETO right, while all other peace loving nations without the capability to commit mass murder have no such right. Which explains the Machiavellian philosophy our warlords adhere to that people respond to fear better than when shown love and caring, that is why Professional American Liars Association needs to sustain fear by holding terrorism as their reason for being around, so much for the Christian principle of loving ones's enemy, ... but not before bombarding Somali towns with Ethiopian helicopters and enjoying the horror sites during the Chrismas dinners. What a caring world religion?

 

The Corrupt UN, endorses the Disfunctional African Union (indebted to the USA, EU) ( but the money never reached africa, it sits in Swiss Banks under the name of the African Leaders who have no guts speaking truth for fear of being exposed by the Liars Association) to send troops to Somalia, to support an anarchist government made of criminals of the Somali Genocide.

The only volunteer for the job is Ethiopia, run by a minority race Tigree which controls 28 races of which the Somali race has the largest land , and the Oromo has the largest population 60 percent. The Tigree Military government in Ethiopia is oppressive to its people, killed many demonstartators Tianan Men Square style, but diue to its holy mission to support Anarchy, Cofe Anan who suffers from vision problems ( his left eye sees only money) agrees to the Tigre Mission in Somalia.

 

 

Reporting From Nairobi

Repenting Ex-Warlord

 

Cag Bakayle

 

in Association With special repporter from Baidoa, the Donkey that carried Somali Politicians out of the Biadoa city limits.

 

 

Nur

[Nur]

Thank You President Bush

 

For Saving Anarchy in Somalia

 

 

As 150,000 Ethiopian troops aided by American reconaissance planes invade Somalia, Anarchists @ Baidoa are sighing with relief, the danger of the Islamists spreading peace and brotherhood has diminished remarkably, and all the warlords are back , the looting just began in Mogadishu, and the Ethiopian soldiers are busy raping 14 year old virgins while killing the men in cold blood baths.

 

The Somalia Quagmire is just beginning, the Ethiopians have ordered clan elders to begin their clan wars for territories, and the Christian Churches are blessing the rape of a heathen nation.

 

Anarchy is back with vengence with American and European blessing this time!

 

 

Cag Bakeyle

 

Former Anarchist

[Fabregas]

The "Moderate" muslims in somali "Mo-darka_dhiga" are back in power.

[Nur]

Geel Jire

 

Its the anniversary of the ( ABA) American Blessed Anarchy of Somalia, just when Somalis thought they can breathe the air, George Bush and Company release Gencidal Ethiopian Army to take revenge on its historical enemy.

 

Today, Anarchy is at its peak again, with the full support of the mightiest nation on earth and its Yes Men at the UN, EU and AU.

 

Somali blood is cheap, it takes a cheap Ethiopian soldiers to do the undefensible dirty work that must be done.

 

 

Nur

[Fabregas]

@Nur, this is what one of the leaders of the Chechnyans recently said:

 

quote:I would like to remind the fact that many Muslims are inclined to forget: Russian kafirs (infidels) have occupied our land and swinish life is being imposed on us for a long period of time. This is a punishment of Allah because we have moved away from his right path, because nothing could happen in the world without the will of Allah, praise to Him the AlmightyOnly imagine, how Allah is incensed at us, taking into consideration the fact that he's send this nation on us. The nation, which is considered to be the most contemptible and the poorest among the kafirs............Allah says that He does not change the condition of people until they change themselves.

 

 

Bal Sheikhow what about us, how much Dambi and fitnah we and our people must have commited in our land? One of the leaders of the Abysnians during the time of Imam Ahmad Gurey told his people that the reason this onslaught was affecting them was because they had been oppressing the minorities in their land and whatnot, ie breaking all the rules of their religion! I make dua that Allah accepts the repentance of our people and guides them to the straight path, Ameen!

[Nur]

GJ Goate

 

Musiibah, or afflictions do not befall a nation without a due violation of Allah's universal justice.

 

Its not removed unless afflicted people repent, stand up and defend that Devine Justice.

 

In our case.

 

1. We accept the subjugation of many Somalis, and minorities as slaves .

 

2. We accept killing, robbery, rape of others as long as they are "others" tribe.

 

3. Sense of allegiance to Allah is rare, allegiance to Money ( $$$$) and the tribe is our national consensus.

 

 

But there is hope, change is on the way, and awareness is the first step, no going back inshAllah.

 

Islam is coming, and not neccessarily in our lifetime, Allah will select those who will earn that honor.

 

 

Nur