Abdullahi Yusuf in Place of Hillary: The exit Speech

[Abtigiis]

Abdullahi Yusuf in Place of Hillary: The exit Speech

 

Humour me as we go into this imagination. Abdullahi Yusuf runs a race for nomination of the Progressive Party’s (PP) candidate for Somalia’s Presidency in 2013. The other candidate is Professor Abdi Ismail Samatar. Nearly 26890 tol, jilib and kuraan voted for Yey. But he was defeated by the charismatic Professor who garnered nearly 6 million votes of the PP supporters. The campign has to end now and Yey should make his congratulations and endorse the consensus candidate. And he is just doing that. In garoon ku yaal Hadhuudhle, in front of cheering die-hard followers.

 

As he came in to the garoon, cheers and chants started: “Abdullahi!Abdullahi!Abdullahi! ma nin warqad wax laga qaaday kugu ogaayeen!!wayna ku aqoonba!waa la isku lug’gui’!!" The supports voice got hysterical as the old President took out a pistol and fired into the air, dhaw!dhaw!dhaw!. It was a demonstration of the courage inside that frail body, and was fitting for the occasion.

 

Finally, he managed to deliver his speech.

 

“Adeerayaal, wax xisbi la yidhaa majiro; That is all big farce. Meeshu waa reer reer. He who thinks he will get an endorsement from me must be dreaming in the heavens. Ninkaa la leeyahay he got votes, it is wise if he can tender his papers elsewhere. I was on top of Ethiopian tanks, guiding artillery when he was sitting in boring libraries sifting through tissues of papers. For what does he calls himself aqoonyahan? Aqooontuu sheegi what is it? He can’t even decipher what Hal-xidhaale is. He doesn’t know inta jilib ee reer Maachiato u kala baxaan! Bal let him tell me: Habar Cali, iyo Habar Ayuub yaa Rer-Shugri Xigga??”

 

“Adeerayaal, waa arkaa shirqool in meesha uu ka socdo. And I am not taking it lightly. Look at your power and your passion. Over 26,000 people have voted for me. Some say 12,000 of those are former warlords and few Ethiopians who sneaked across the border. Who said the warlords are not Somali’s? If at all, they are the relics that must be respected for their gallantry. Ethiopia as usual is our friend. Some sneakers waa sahalo ee, I will bring their army if this bespectacled reer-waqooyi, who is shouting in the language of the white-man doesn’t budge.”

 

“Beentii weeye, no one has voted for him. Money from the narcotic trade in Afganistan and the Pharoas in Egypt is what is causing the havoc in our country. And he has the balls to ask me for endorsement, lest our Party 'will disintegrate'. I will not endorse him, hear me loud. I send him an INKAAR. And he cannot set a foot in Hadhuudhle and its surroundings. Those who voted for him iyagaa garan where they are going to crown him. I will attack wherever a party is planned for his coronation.”

 

The crowd roared and gave a long standing ovation in appreciation of the gut and determination in the man. One fanatic supporter read a short poem from a stone podium amid the pandemonium and clutter. It was not all clear but the title of the Gabay was “Cabdullahigii Shilkaha Sheekha ka dhigtoow”.

 

Abdullahi waved back at the crowds, deeply grateful for their unending belief in him. And there, he converged with Hillary’s message at last. She said it is you last night to her supporters. He said so too.

 

“It is you. Jilibkayga iyo kuraantayda. It is you who stood by me in woe and weal. It is you who were there in high and huge times. It is the gun that kept me going. I can never imagine what this country –Somalia- would have looked without you. Maybe a hotbed of Alshabab Madrasas, everyone going to the mosque, no one allowed to kill another. Imagine a lifeless country where the Saraakiil can’t have they girls at night, where the ninka masuulkii can’t return all the favours he owes his tol. I can say a lot, but let me end here for now. Thank you, adeer. To the man who sought my endorsement, I say, ‘waa shiddaysan tahay adeer. Orodoo BBC’daadii ka hees hees.’”

 

And he left; soo dhaqaaqa he told his security men. Looking sternly at Dayib-dhuub, the marksman with BKM Machin-gun. “Madaxa ku dhufo wixii aad ka shakiddo. All these chanting kids could turn a suicide bomber at anytime”.

[Jacaylbaro]

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