Secret Engagements

[Juxa]

firstlady, good issue u raised here, sis always always,,,,keep yr family informed, i dont think there is a somali parent who wont want to see their daughter married and settled in xalaal, marriage is blessing it is not about the size of the wedding. any parent with a daughter looks forward to her wedding dont take that away. remember easy come easy go dhulka kama dhalan, if the brother loves u, he will wait till yr parents are ready to let u go,,,TRUE LOVE PASSES TEST OF TIME dont rush.

[wardi]

assallamu aleykum nomads..all.. just want know what firstlady think all this respond from her sist/broth

[finestsista2005]

I definatly agree with all the thoughtfull nomads who took time to respond to me. Yes, i did understood what all are saying. It's really great advices ya but in here for me and all the sista's.

 

Yeah, parents could be hassel when it comes to weddings. Men can give hassel too cuz...ya know when both attaractions come together..god knows it's hard to resist..well that is what i am feeling...it's very hard.....and i don't want to dispoint any of my family in secret engagement...i gotta finish school...but damn guys...how can one resist..something that soo atractive and temting? How do you keep ur hands together and think of allah? when all you do is think about that person 24/7 ...there u go..so maybe with that delema ....might secrete marriage be exceptable...cuz plain simply u can't resist..

 

hey, don't take my writng offensive..i am just playing devil abvicant (both roles..pros and cons)..aight...just a thought....

 

holla!

 

[ June 10, 2003, 08:04 PM: Message edited by: FirstLady ]

[silent-sistah]

devils advocate, kulahaa,

 

FIRTS-LADY ,,,nagadaa dee kaftankaa, here i am all serious, qaxadii baa na cadaatay,

 

glad u see were we coming from, but give me a break sis,,,,

 

imma let the others ansa u!

[king_450]

First lady, sister, you really are waking up the dead to come to live with us, what i mean is what you are asking is being preached all the time , and is happening almost every day in our life, next time you meet your friend or your sisters, see if you can sense secret wedding, without being noticed. I used to hear that most of the Shekikhs always use this pracitce i guess in somali they call "Qudbi sraad" correct me if i am wrong, but ppl practice, the only problem is our culture, if you do without the consent of your family then you are breaking the connection ,i mean some of the connection u had with your parents, relatives specially if you have a brother in the family who is jerk, so atleast tell one of you family relatives, and if u like this man, go for it. Nothing wrong with it. and update us.

[wardi]

no firstlady..remember you agreed with us already thats way to go,,,,i disagreed with king

[Qac Qaac]

as all the nomads said, let the parents know of ur plan, if they love u really and see u really like the guy, they won't disappoint u, but if they still saying no, coz they want a big wedding. then do ur secrets. coz it is ur life not theirs. ok.

and as u said, u cna't keep ur hands to urself, think of him 24/7. hey go marry the damn guy. or u will sin, and that is bigger sin, then ur parents don't know about it. coz remember u didn't do anything bad. u informed them, about the situation and they simply said no coz of stupid reason. so is their lost and their sin, not yours. that is my view on this issue. hey when u all say finish school, don't u guys know how long school is, 3-4 yrs, depending of either major or honours what ever u taking. sis if u don't have a boyfriends, trust me it would be hard. so u not allowed to have a boyfriend so what can u. so marry ok. or else u end up like all the somalis ppl do in universities go out with each other. like boyfriend girlfriend where is the Islam in that. don't u all know that is haram. we doing all that sin coz our parents said u can't married untill finishing school.

 

p.s. i think, we should all tour our parents, what really happens in school, and in universities. muslim ppl going out, just Kuffars. maybe then your parents will change their mind.

[Heartless_Honey]

Now sista getting maried without your parents knowledge!!!!!!!!that says to me horny......f you feel that you need a man just be honest with your parents and tell them I CAN NOT WAIT UNTILL I FINISH MY EDUCATION i am sure they can understand that got needs n all.

[MaLikah]

Lol heartless lady-thanks girl-ure the only one that's reached that conclusion. Honestly, if my daughter came up to me at 16 and wanted to get married, I'd let her know I dont advise it, but if it keeps her from doing xaraam, I'm all for it. Even tho we need to encourage EDUCATION, that doesn't necessarily mean we have to promote the XARAAM..

 

Just my two cents.

[A7LA-SHU]

firstlady.. simple. u tell ur parents u find the right guy for u. and if they don't like him for lets say religious reason like he don't pray, or other important reasons girl i would say listen to ur parents.

but if they just sayin u not gonna get married coz he can't give u the type of wedding they want for u or he isn't from good qabil so we don't want u marrying him( which happens).. girl take that guy and go to the nearest masjid and ask the sheikh to marry u..

 

im not just sayin this coz i think is that is the right way.. but i was talkin to my mom the other day about this. the same week i asked the guy in the masjid if it would be haram. and he was like no it is not haram .. i know some folks think u should go to another time to marry him. but the sheikh said u can marry him in ur town.. coz u doing the right thing.

 

that is all i have for now so peace.