Hypothesis: Dowry arrangements are becoming increasingly difficult !

[Honesita]

Shyhem......thanx sweetie... ..!!

[VisiT]

Midoo aan aqaano, she doesn't even know what dowry is! lol lucky me hehehe

[Thinkerman]

Perhaps instead of dowry arrangements , which most young somali guys like myself, and am sure u will probably not be able to afford.

 

we should come up with a more useful Valution Metric .

 

Becaue lets face it is the revenues and costs after the marriage that should be considered.

 

So i think i have cum up with a modern equvilent.

I have an idea of a grading system for those brothers fortunate enough to have finished university which can be used as an approximation for the type of earning power for the future.

 

5 = very good earning potential

5c = good eearning potential

5 = stable earning potential

 

and it gradual diminishes from that position.

 

Business and Finance 1 degree = 5

2.1 degree = 4

2.2 degree = 3

3 degree = 2

pass = 1

 

Technology and desgin course 1 degree = 4

2.1 degree = 3

2.2 degree = 2

3 degree = 1

pass = 0 (avoid)

 

Computer and IT 1 degree = 5c

2.1 degree = 4c

2.2 degree = 3c

3 degree = 2c

pass = 1c

 

Social Sciences 1 degree = 4

2.1 degree = 3

2.2 degree = 2

3 degree = 1

pass = 0

 

well thats my suggestion, rather simplistic @ the mo but am sure it can developed further.

[Haneefah]

Salaam,

 

I actually think that dowry has become less of an issue to many somalis because people have gotten educated both religious and secular so money is not such a big issue, or am i just being naive? However, i've seen women that ask for the qur'an to lessen the burden on their husbands but what they're really doing is increasing it because now, the husband is obligated to teach her the qur'an...so if i were you guyz, and the girl was thinking about asking the qur'an, i'd refuse cuz that's just an immense pressure many guyz don't realize.

 

As far as these expensive weddings that have almost become a norm for many somalis in the west...well that's just absurd, haven't they ever heard of the old saying "dabo adan lahayn laguma xaaro" ,seriously, and what's sad to know is that women are the driving force of this fitnah(not to generalize)....i mean i believe that there is no one who knows his (the husband-to-be) state better than her, so why put him through hell just to have others say heblaayo had the best wedding and i want a wedding like hers. No wonder the divorce rates have sky rocketed.

 

As for me...i object to any part where a MAN has to pay to compensate for my needs.I believe in 50/50 and that's not to say that i have assimilated to the western society but i just come from a family where women were always independent and the thought of asking "men" for money was somewhat degrading. I also do know that there are smart, independent somali siters out there.

 

So one piece of advice for you men since i have many brothers and i know a little about viewing things from your perspective....choose your partners carefully!!!

[lol]

Well, I believe the family of the bride should not require dowry of the groom, since he is taking already a great responsibility by taking care of their daughter/sister. However, since its in our culture that some kind of dowry should be paid, then it should be the responsibility of the groom to curve out amounts that is affordable to him.....

 

But one story did really shock me that I witnessed... A friend of mine, was marrying this girl... She said her " nikaax"' was $100,000... and akwardly, he accepted... walaahi it was a mystery to me and it is still is... I am like, damnnn... koolo ay bo ku noqotee.. coz to me, this is like.. u can never divorce me, coz u can't afford to pay me this amount of money through out ur life.....unless ofcourse, u get lucky and hit the jackpot....

 

Gabdho, its my advice, let the brothas' breath....don't burden them or chase them away with high demands.. if u ask for $10, or if u ask for a million, u will always be the same....Today, all u need to ask for is a guy that can take care of his family, and has some sense of future in him...

[Samafal]

Well Mujahid You can think about going to India if the somali women are getting little expensive.

 

There is men shortage there and unlike us women are required to pay their prospective husbands. Good idea, let me know