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Something wrong with somali parenting

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Originally posted by The Rendez-vous:

Originally posted by Modesty:



I've made lots of observations, and I have concluded that most Somali men are oppressive to women. They basically view women as second class citizens. Not only in Somalia, but also in the west.Alot of these views that men have about somali women is basically what they say is from the religion, yet most of them don't even know alot about the deen.


ADVICE 1: First of all, all praise to Allah s.w.The issue raised by Sis Modesty has a great impact on this forums and will NEVER be sidelined.Nevertheless, Modesty, on your part, please also STOP generalizing all somalis as same.Many somalis of our time, that is the 21st Century, especially, Men/women are modern in their faith (Imaan) and put great emphasis on their religion, the true faith that exist and continues to exist.




For example, men are served first in everything, from food to getting other things done. Men are held in a pedestal and women are treated like they are insignificant. For example, why is it somali restaurants, they allow men to sit in the well lit areas, the cleaner areas with the t.v., yet women have to sit in a hole that's unhygenic, and bore lighting (yes, I have experienced this, and I was hungry so I ate there anyways


ADVICE 2.: Because of you talked of something simple, Please also talk about the way Muslim women, Somalis included are given priviledges when it comes to transport systems..which is also simple.They are allocated the best seats near the driver in a bus, when they want to alight from the bus, they use the front door while us, men, are squeezed in the back of the bus,..I remeber sitting on women reserved seat and standing later for the women who come afterwards.

Many Somali ladies I have seen are treated like queens by their partners, unless you are talking about your own experience, which is by far, a personal problem..assume that, they are treating you can't say that for all my sisters, my lady relatives and my Mum..



Men can do what they want, no one criticizes them, and when I usually say "no one" I mean the women, yes the women are the ones who are propagating this oppression on themselves by allowing this to happen to them.Females are treated like crap basically, and they think this treatment is okay, they actually believe they are "free", and criticize western women and how they are oppressed, even though I do believe they aren't very free, I also believe they have more freedoms then somali women.



ADVICE 3..: That is NEVER the truth.In Islam, you believe like I do, that, God Allah s.w will judge everyone according to his deeds.When Somalis criticize, (I have a personal problem with some few somali men), Islam advises us to correct what we muslims deem wrong and keep advising each other...It is written in one Ayah of the Holy Quraan that "



but that doesn't mean, we criticize to the point of making someone feel hurt..No..We need to give advise to our fallen(Lapsed) muslims like Ayaan Hirsi, who will digest and find their mistakes from what we quote from the quraan



A famous saying of The Prophet is "It is the generous (in character) who is good to women, and it is the wicked who insults them."



The clothes of the women is more probed, it's sometimes annoying, do I have to drag 50 feet of cloth to be considered a chaste woman?


ADVICE 4.: Muslim women, Somali women included are supposed to be modest like their Men...While Somalis have the attitude of irritating some few somali women who wear semi-nude...or "awkwardly" to be precise, It is advisable to atleast wear modest based on the limits set by your God...don't worry about What Somalis say.....Just have faith in your God, Allah s.w and follow your religion properly.




Ridiculous is all I have to say. In my opinion, the majority of Somali women are oppressed, and they are allowing this to happen to themselves.


ADVICE 5.: Please have some seriousness when talking about generalization...when talking about our old somali culture...or our Religion Islam...Never talk about many people..Men here are also advised to know that our Prophet S.a.w used to say "...



Prophet Muhammad. (P) said:


The best of you is the best to his family and I am the best among you to my family.


The most perfect believers are the best in conduct and best of you are those who are best to their wives. (Ibn-Hanbal, No. 7396)


Behold, many women came to Muhammad's wives complaining against their husbands (because they beat them) - - those (husbands) are not the best of you. he told his Sahabas

If Somalis are not following Islam..Then that is a different Case altogether..

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salaaam everyone, its been a while but this topic has hit a nerve with me.


i was raised by a single parent, my aunt raised me and her 3 daughters, and may Allah reward her 4 it. we were raised with religion, everyday after school we went to mosque learnt the Qur'an and every weekend we went to islamic talks. everyday our meals were prepared all we had to do was balance our studies..this world and the hereafter....and we received sufficient help with both.


presently, im a single parent, i work part time while my son is at school, i prepare his meals and help him with his homework on week days. weekends we go to the mosque and i teach him the foundations of islam at home,,,,,he knows his arabic alphabet, a few basic sura's, how to pray and make wudu....i feel he has sufficient knowledge on what being a muslim means, and i support him with his school work.


ok, so he is only 7 and Alhamdulillah everything is running smoothly so far, like my aunt i go to all his parent evenings,accompany him on school trips, and he attends several after school clubs.


Allah knows best how my relationship with my son will change but all i can do is my best,,,,and i truelly believe that somali mothers do there best. i dont believe that a parent has a child and plans to do wrong by them!


everything that happens is qadar of Allah, if my aunt could shield me from pain she would, if i could shield my son i would.........but no one can stop the experiences that Allah plans for you!

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^^ now u hit a nerve by u bring up this depressed woman's topic, dont cha know by now that modesty is only here to talk about problems with herself and reflecting it as a general problem????..


thank u 4 nothing but mashallah on the way u r raising ur son.. may allah bless ur aunt

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