Balsam

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Everything posted by Balsam

  1. Most of you sisters are yet to realize the seriousness of delaying marriage.i didn’t post topic to find a solution to my problem, I only posted it to alert those who are postponing the issue of marriage for ridicules reasons. and I mean reasons like, I want to finish my education, I will get married when i turn 26 (like the perfect guy is waiting) or I my girl friends husbands beats her so I am better off alone, or this guys is alittle broke, a little ugly, don’t know this don’t know that.. Originally posted by Opinionated: Balsam, You are a grown intellectual person, so ask yourself this question: do you want to get married because ALL your friends are married? or Do you want to get married to someone you love and will cherish forever? Hon, do not rush into marriage with the next guy because he proposed! You know that there are losers dying to get married...and trust me you dont want to be part of the somali single mother statistic na'mean. Oh, and try to make the best of your freedom while you still have it i was asking myself these questions when i was 21 year old senior college student, but now, i ask myself a tottaly diffrent kind of questions. i hope you dont find yourself asking them questions one day...
  2. Originally posted by Xalimo7: Sister Balsam, i hear all your wisdom, and i applaud for your truhtfullness, i am amazed myself too,.Yes our biological clock is ticking every year that passes.Sister you are right i am tired of going to weddings too instead of having one. There must be a unique and empowering way to meeting the good men and marrying also the right man,so sister remember for true love is in the hands of Fate. Don't settle with less,but keep hope alive. Good luck sister . In my Opinion Getting married is a "Badge of Honor". I haven't seen a single women who doesn't want get married! see you Thank you Xalimo for understanding me so well, to the nomads who replied in this thread, i am not questioning allh's will and fate. Nor I have lost hope in getting married, god forbid, i am only trying to spread a word of wisdom and share a thought. as i have stated earlier, I just want to express the importance of getting married while young, I know we tend to be picky and reject a man who is willing to marry us for a silly reason. I guess the lifestyle and the concept of dating here in the United States has negatively effected our general outlook to marriage issues, here Gaaalada don’t worry about getting married until they hit 34, and they shouldn’t, most of them have live-in boyfriends or screw around on a regular basis, but for us, things are different, we are muslim, we are not suppose to commit zina, and that’s the deportment that makes us different in terms of getting married while young... I really didn’t appreciate that joke sis Ameenah, you have severely misunderstood my intention of posting this topic. I just wanted to share a word of wisdom with my younger sisters…. That’s all.
  3. Originally posted by flying-still: Frist man knocking on your door? Girl hold up!!! Guur oo dhan waa calaf...it will happen when it happens. You can't rush something like that so just relax and you will know when its right. I know this may sound absurd to you, but it’s the truth. And you must live it to believe it. I have no doubt about the fact that Guur is Calaf. But you have to remember that we still have a choice in deciding weather to get married or not. Most of us are not seriouse about guur until its too late, it happened to me and I just didn’t want it to happen to anybody else.. Originally posted by Ameenah: Slow down macaanto, 26 is not old and you have plenty of things to keep you preoccupied as you wait for the right brother to come along. Abaayo its not that I don’t have things to do, I just got tired of this single and independent lifestyle, all my roommates have moved out and live with their husbands now. It’s just so frustrating.
  4. Ladies, why are we not serious about marriage when we are young and the time is right? why do realize the importance of marriage only when its too freaken late!!! I am 26 years old and go to graduate school, during my undergraduate years, many many brothers approached me and wanted to marry me, I was either too damn picky or so into the so called “I want to secure my future first”, I must have thought the ideal guy I have always dreamed about will come to take me when I am finally ready.. we see that in the soap operas but that has no existence in reality. Now that I am growing older, the quality of men approaching me are not the same anymore.. before my college peeps or recently graduated brothers expressed their interest in me, but now the guys who approach me have either been married before and in their late 30’s with a High school diploma wich causes a very big educational gap between us. or a ciyaal suuq who wants to have sex. I have failed to realize that we mature faster than men, which mean we always look older than our actual age. I quit going to weddings, all of my girl freinds got married one after the other,,, i feel so sad i havent got married yet. I don’t even watch wedding videos anymore because they are depressing to me… I don’t have the habit of chasing men, since I was brought up with strict Islamic values. But now.. I am about to decide to marry the first man knocking on my door…