sharma-arke451

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Posts posted by sharma-arke451

  1. Posted

    AALIYYAH, waan isfahanay huuno. waxaan jeclaa, bal inaad kor ujaleecdo qormada. warkeeyga wuxuu badanaa tibaxaayay kasoo bilaaw marku nin ama gabadhi eey hana qaado, oo gurdoon noqoto, qaab hadalka iyo shukaansiga, ilaa guur. kama bilaawin qormada astaamaha iyo sababta guurka uu uburburo, ee war ayaa iiga horeeyay.

     

    6)marrying a relative without dulqaad.this entails a primary condition for marrying a relative. if you can't be tolerant enough beyond reasonable limits, then never think of even marrying a relative. i mean an extra dulqaad. for sure dulqaad is a requirement for marriage, but when marrying a relative, it becomes more important, because once a conflict sets in, then it means choosing between a miserable life and your kins. waa goan adag.

  2. Posted

    @ tallaabo, lol. i hope you ain't among the extremist some :P

     

    5) maseer. i won' call it jealous, because that will deplete its meaning. maseer is the feeling of contentment. the feeling of being robbed an integral right, and morale breach. it comes in many folds, mostly in the form of a second wife. when a man gets a second wife while the first wife is at large and charming, difficult in the shape of behavior knocks the door, and comes in without being let or cleared. stressful times will make up good part of your daily life, and the sum of all this, may yield a break. it is most devastating, when the man has not met some of his duties, or even the first family is struggling will life.be it financially, or even morale support.

     

    the second wife issue comes mostly from men, and at times from women. the men are naturally tempted to have a second wife, without putting brain into it, just for the sake, while some women accept to be a second wife, and narrow the survival parameter of the first wife. whichever the case, maseer is a serious monster, that have the appetite to eat up the household completely, without left overs.

     

     

    6) marrying a relative without dulqaad.

  3. Posted

    alpha i will tell you some valuable tips, ee bal iga qaado,

     

    1-Never love before marriage, pre marital love, is a delusional magnet. It hangs men aimlessly

    2- Never seduce a girl, unless your intention is sealed with marriage.

    3-Never spend a penny on a pre marital girl. It will haunt your future economic well being

    4-Never date online. you will be taking serious risk, that is unknown. Better the risk you know.

    5-Never think material well being is the perfect mix for happy life. Money realised, happiness, is too expensive to procure.

    6-Never eat alone at the hotel. many see it a privilege. Do share.

     

    kaftaan waaye maa istidhi?? ( coofla diiday ri)

  5. Posted

    aaliyyah, somali wexeey kumahmaahdaa, ''kheyr wax kaama dhibee, shar utoog haay''

    The current marriage rate is high, yet the monster is eating up the household. The divorce rate is higher than before. This brings us to a new reality, hence why it is important we dig down the real cause of divorce.

    Divorce is hard reality we can't ignore. This doesn't mean we appreciate or in any manner condone it.

     

    4) the in-law factor. This is a very sensitive factor that dictates the stability of a household. It all depends on their kind. The better in laws one has, the longer the stability, the bad they are, the higher the chances of conflict, and reason to act.

    Whether it is the wife, treating a mother in law bad, or the mother of the husband demanding for the divorce of the girl,

    Or the sisters of the husband insisting the wife to serve them, or spreading a falsehood against the wife,,,,,, whichever the way, good in laws are a treasure, while bad ones, a weed in a field of rice.

     

    Allow sahal umuuraha.

  6. Posted

    tallaabo are you saying, some tribes cannot marry each other??? i believe marriage should be tribal neutral.

     

    @aaliyyah, my beloved sis, Lol. Are you saying marriage should be eternal????? Che and juxa believe it must have an expiry date, whats your take??

    Anyway, it was an illustration on how, lack of economic reality can destroy a household. We spend what we have, and shape our needs according to our capacity. not an inflated expenditure order, against a negative balance sheet,,,, dee economic sense camal.

  8. Posted

    ~~~~~ a wife and husband they became. i mean axado and hassan. new life began. its early stage is marked with restraint and understanding. hassan struggled more to make sure he meets the ever increasing economic needs of his newly formed family. life was tough. his hopes shrunk, when he lost his job, because his boss felt the need to employ his keen and forsake hassan. his hard work and talent was no longer useful, since hiring ceased to be on merit, rather on linkages. the responsibility on his shoulders brought him sleepless nights. many thoughts crossed his mind, but ethics was his source of power and hope. he tried all ways possible to provide for the family, but the harder he tried, the narrow his hopes became. and the worst came when the list of needs of axado doubled. she would demand beyond what hassan can offer. he reasoned with her many times, that she should limit her needs according to their capacity, and that spending more than their income will burden them with debts. all this fell on deaf ear. she insisted, there is no short cut to living. he either provides what she needed, or she relieves him the responsibility.

    hassan tried all avenues possible to convince her that as long as he is trying, and working hard, she owed him perseverance and understanding. all his effort bet dead end. he involved her parents, they too failed to convince her.

    the break became inevitable. gabadhi waa la furay.

     

    adi si dheh

  9. Posted

    Nin-Yaaban;905367 wrote:
    Sharmarke, nimanka hada guurdoonka ah, mawaxaa fiicaan ineey wadankii kulaabtaan ooy kasoo guursadaan mise meesheey ku noolyihiin?
    :)

    to begin with, the primary aim of marriage is to stay stable for long. definitely, children,parenthood, happiness,comfort, etc, too are the aim.

     

    having said that, it will really vary, depending on many factors, like; time,people,wealth, personality, experience, and etc

    i would personally recommend meeshu joogo inuu kaguursado, for the following;

     

    many factors will play to your disadvantage, like time, people and experience. though wealth may play to your advantage. for personality it depends.

    what i mean is;

    time will play against you in that, women have a limited fertility life, and to them time is a crucial factor, a life saving one. they fight menopause by time. in lala joogo ayeey jecelyihiin. should i change time with gender, i don't think.

     

    people demolish households. in two main ways, to either take advantage of the absence and engage the wife or the husband for that matter, and seek sexual favors, or either incite. your absence will be a weak point in the household membrane, hence it will let in viruses that eat up the immune system of the family

     

    experience, qof guursaday, lajooga ayuu jecel yahay, halagaa maqnaado, weey adagtahay.

     

    wealth may play to your favor, by at least meeting the financial needs of your family. it can too play against you, in that, calool dhargan weey tikaami, mida baahanna, cuntoo umbeey kafakartaa. i hope you get what i mean.

     

    personality dictates the perseverance of someone to trials of life. be it moral or material. the more tolerant a partner is, the better.

     

    p.s. raga diwadaha ka imaado oo afrika usoo guurdoonto, badankooda, am saying badankooda, waa laga fiican yahay.

  10. Posted

    @blue, jokes don't hold. new solutions are available, but vary depending on specific problems.

     

    for example: economic reality should click right. a man spends what he has. demanding beyond what is in possession, is not right. it may lead to divorce.

     

    illustration : a teen girl falls in love with a handsome, ethically upright man, in his late twenties. the girl hails from a poor family, equally hassan, the man she fall in love with. hassan is a hardworking gentleman, who leaves no stone unturned to change the economic situation of his family. he tries all avenues possible to seek a sound well paying job, but since he has no one in the ranks, his efforts are futile.

     

    one fine friday afternoon, axado, the teen girl, meets hassan. they discuss at length about the beauty of having a prosperous family and the obstacles that face them. the pros and the cons of early marriage and the matrimonial life. after the charming talk, they decided to put time frame in their proposal, and that by friday, she will introduce him to her parents.

     

    as normal hassan kept on looking for the job throughout the week. luckily, he got the opportunity to be a night watchman at liiban hotel in the neighborhood. he started the job with charisma and efficiency. he got the chance to know people. he interacted with his workmates. days passed, and Friday was just hours to go.

     

    by friday, hassan meets the parents of axado. they welcome him. and after a brief interaction the session ends. after he has gone, the parents call axado, telling her about their findings. they told her about their economic condition, and how they can't support her daughters wedding party. they told her the place of wealth in life, and that it facilitates ease, and since hassan is a poor man as their family, she should look for other alternatives. hearing this, axado was furious with her parents, blaming them of not respecting her comfort partner in life, and the inferiority of wealth. she told them that money neither buys happiness nor love. and so on.

    the parents accepted their daughters will and told her that, theirs was just guidance and the final decision lied in her.

     

    to cut along story short, their due date came. as the norm, their wedding party costs was contributed by their family and friends alike. everything happened as planned. they became a wife and husband.

     

    walil xadiithi baqiyah. hadaan soo laabto

  12. Posted

    Malika;905268 wrote:
    ^What about this scenerio : man and woman marry, isago wax baa hayniin - they struggle together through life, he gets a break finally - becomes a Mr Big somewhere - he starts thinking he is all that and plus, forgetting where he came from - magac marku yeeshee ayuu islantii naa kuu kibree - busy with his new found 'friends' and 'fame' - reerkiisaa naa kaafogadhee[sp]...the circle of destruction begins.....few years, divorce another minyaro, children suffering, isagu xoolihii iyo 'fame' kii naa baabaee ayuu islanti hoore kuso noqonayah expecting to be cared for by her children and her...ish!

     

    seen this happen..

    a perfect observation. such scenarios happen. the central theme is interest and insincerity, albeit being few in number. daneeste aya sameeyo.

     

    3) conflict and disagreement prepare the marriage for failure. not in their essence, but failure to manage and limit them. conflict is part and parcel of life, and life minus it, is something with no definition. actually disagreements help someone understand life better. therefore, it is certain that in a marital relationship, disagreement will arise, irrespective of the magnitude. the partners have to develop a mechanism to handle it, rather than treating it, as a trigger to capital D. I mean divorce.

    the principle of disagreement is taken to a different height when a partner expects/assumes a perfect conduct from the other, as if he/she is an angel. unless you accept disagreement, your feelings will be hostage for anger and revenge. hence, this principle lays the benchmark for forgiveness/revenge. it is human to err,

     

    in lais gafo, nolasha ayeey kamid tahay, qofkana waa inuu aqbalaa. lakiin hadaad soo istaagto, sidee laiigu gafi karaa, nolasha wad kadhici.

  14. Posted

    the challenges of a household comes in many folds, mainly factors before and after marriage.

     

    main factors

     

    1) a girl accepts to marry a man, who has nothing and hassles around with life. she says '' i love him. he is my perfect partner''. she is aware of his economic status and financial privilege. she accepts him as he is. the marriage ceremony costs are contributed by the friends and family. alhamdulilah, they become a household. once they settle, she expects him to supply A,B & C items, of which the aggregate financial consideration is huge. failure to which, she demands a break.

    hadee shale, adaa kuraacayeey, maxaa maanta isbadalay? sow maadan ku ogeen?

     

    2) The man is nice and humble during courtship. he is kind and occupies a noble niche. the manhood pressure keeps him high, though hidden. after the marriage takes place, his true color appears in the horizon, because his needs are quenched. and he is no longer the former him. he becomes indifferent to good, and sows conflict in any avenue possible.

    nin bogsaday, balan fur

     

    maxa kale hee,,,,,,

  20. Posted

    N.O.R.F;904325 wrote:
    Good on them. After 20+ years I can understand the eagerness to get home and hopefully finally settle.

     

    Nuune, how is Paragon? Muxuu meesha ku hayaa?
    Ministry of Foreign Affairs
    ha loo dhiibo ninka
    :D

    NORF, ma fowziyaad duulan kutahay? lol

     

    @nuune, sxb horta welcome back. tan labaad, nairobi and somalis have a mutual relationship.period. the notion that Nairobi needs Somalis, more than they need it, waa UNFOUNDED TALE.

    people are going back, to Mogadishu, Ethiopia and NEP. the reason; daganansho kadhalatay dalalki iyo kenya oo mowqif adag ka istaagtay somalida urban refugees-ka ku ah nairobi, doorashada march 4, iyo iyo iyo,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,