dating

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Dating

According to Quran and Sunnah

 

 

Being alone with a non-mahram

 

 

Hadith - Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi 3118, Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab , Tirmidhi transmitted it.

The Prophet said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil makes a third."

 

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Book 25, Number 5403, Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As

Some persons from Banu Hisham entered the house of Asma' daughter of Umays when AbuBakr also entered (and she was at that time his wife). He (AbuBakr) saw it and disapproved of it and he made a mention of that to Allah's Messenger and said: I did not see but good only (in my wife).

 

Thereupon Allah's Messenger said: Verily Allah has made her immune from all this. Then Allah's Messenger stood on the pulpit and said: After this day no man should enter the house of another person in his absence, but only when he is accompanied by one person or two persons.

 

 

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari Book 25, Number 5399, Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah

Allah's Messenger said: Behold, no person should spend the night with a married woman, but only in case he is married to her or he is her Mahram.

 

Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi 3119, Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah

The Prophet said, "Do not visit women whose husbands are away from home, for the Devil circulates in you like your blood." He was asked if this applied to him also and said, "To me also, but Allah has helped me against him so that I may be safe." [Tirmidhi transmitted it.]

 

 

Sex outside of marriage is prohibited

A Muslim cannot date and should always have the intentions not be alone with a non-mahram; if it is your intentions not to be alone with a non-mahram, but circumstances beyond your control mandate that you are (such as entering a store, placing an order, calling a plumber to fix an emergency leak), that is different. It must be your intentions not to be alone with a non-mahrahm person, though.

Islam protects us from ourselves by segregating men from women who are not directly related (these people are known as mahrham) as specific in the Qur'an. Instead of dating, a Muslim and Muslimah meet in a pre-arranged place (such as a room in the Masjid) with a wali/witness/guardian/escort present in the room. The couple will discuss a marriage contract and ask questions of importance to them regarding marriage. The best person to seek for a spouse is the pious.

 

The Noble Qur'an 24:30

Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do.

 

Hadith - Sahih Al-Bukhari, Vol. 9, Hadith No. 409

Narrated Ibn Mas'uud r.a.: A man kissed a woman and then came to Allah's Messenger saaws and told him of that, so this Divine Inspiration was revealed to the Prophet saaws:- "And offer prayers perfectly at the two ends of the day, and in some hours of the night; [i.e. (five) compulsory prayers]. (Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (small sins). That is a reminder for the mindful." (Qur'an 11:114) The man said, "Is this instruction for me only?" The Prophet saaws said, "It is for all those of my followers who encounter a similar situation."

 

What should we do?

~Avoid being alone with a non-mahram except out of necessity and when unavoidable.

 

~Respect yourself and your body; wait until marriage for sex. More importantly, obey your Lord; wait until marriage for sex.

 

~Don't do like the unbelievers, who date. Do as your Lord commands you. Trust that Allah swt knows what is best for you.

 

Symptom: Feeling weak?

Prescription: Lower gaze, Do your prayers

 

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