The path of marriage

[Muhammad]

The path of marriage

10/6/2005 - Education Social Religious - Article

By: E Mansor, F Eunos & O Sidek

IslamiCity* -

 

 

"Your goal in the end is towards Allah: He will tell you the truth of the things wherein ye disputed. It is He who hath made you (His) agents, inheritors of the earth: He hath raised you in ranks, some above others: that He may try you in the gifts He hath given you:..."(An'am, 6:164-165)

 

Life is a journey but there is no journey quite like Life. It begins from Allah and ends at Allah and the events that unfold in the journey are also premeditated by Allah . It is a journey specifically designed for mankind and, like most journeys, the experience therein is meant to enrich the traveler. Life on Allah's Earth is His scheme for Man's development. As Man journeys through, opportunities for his growth may come in the form of trials and challenges or as favors and gifts.

 

Though we are given freedom to choose which path to travel on, we have also been shown the path called " Islam " which promises success in the Hereafter. It is a path that calls mankind to strive for comprehensive harmony with his Creator, society and Nature as a "way of life" in his pursuit to fulfill his potential as the best creation of Allah (Quran 95:4-6).

 

As Man is mind, body and soul, Islam prescribes the attainment of correct thought, action and motivations as equally important prerequisites for well-balanced growth of the human personality towards its perfection. Thus iman (conviction), amal (action) and ihsan (God-serving conduct) are inter-linked in a comprehensive definition of the Islamic way of life, as found in the discourse between the Prophet Muhammad and the angel Jibrail 1

Marriage is not an incidental aspect of this way of life. Instead, it is part and parcel of it, as it figures significantly in each of the three aspects of iman, amal and ihsan. As a matter of faith (iman), Muslims regard it as a form of gift from Allah . As such, we enter into marriage with a great sense of responsibility and reverence. And being from Him, we are always careful not to abuse it for selfish gains. Instead, our marriage and family should be a major source of strength and support in our service to Allah . and society.

 

For this purpose, in the practice (amal) of Islam, an aspect of Islamic law (Shariah) is devoted towards marriage and family. And through law, Islam proactively guides the conduct of partners in marriage to ensure that they transform their families into a cohesive unit of contributors to society. In principle, Islamic family law (munakahat) aims at ensuring harmony within the family and the community at large, in good times as well as in instances of divorce, as illustrated in Section III. When harmony prevails in the community and order is maintained in a family unit - broken or otherwise - the family unit functions in its best form possible and will thus, be able to maximize its potential in cultivating true servants of Allah and of society at large.

 

Ultimately, the aim of Islam is to cultivate human character and, at the social level, human culture with the disposition of peace and harmony, out of love for Allah , mankind and the world. However, Islamic character and culture are more than just a matter of faith (iman) and action (amal), as they involve our entire being - in other words, every moment of our existence should be a conscientious service toward Allah And this is what the Prophet . defined as "best character" or ihsan. The attainment of ihsan however, requires a lifetime of attention and nurturing by the more enlightened ones who understand human nature and the necessary process for cultivating good characters. For a child, the family atmosphere of love, affection and joy is their best chance for getting the attention and nurture from more enlightened parents and other significant adults.

 

Thus, marriage and family are part and parcel of Muslim life, as they figure significantly in the development of our iman, amal and ihsan. In a manner of speaking, if life is a journey and Islam is the path to a successful destiny, marriage is a vehicle well-suited for the journey towards peace and tranquility in this life, and success in the other.

 

When we achieve peace within ourselves and with our spouse, we can then contribute to the development of the community by undertaking the task of spreading the peace of Islam to others. This could be in the form of being involved in community services or by helping others who are in need. At the very least, we will represent the image of Islam and our good and kind conduct to others, serving to publicize the teachings of our faith. Thus, at another level, we strive to extend tranquility beyond ourselves toward others. Across this entire process, what will be uppermost is the attainment of Ultimate Peace with our Creator.

 

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." (Rum, 30:21)

 

Source: "Tranquil Hearts" by Enon Mansor, Fatimah Eunos & Osman Sidek

[Haneefah]

if life is a journey and Islam is the path to a

successful

destiny, marriage is a

vehicle

well-suited for the journey towards peace and tranquility in this life, and success in the other.

That's neat, I like that!

 

The Institution of marriage is indeed very substantial in Islam and one that many of us simply take for granted. Young people today are bombarded with countless negative depictions of marriage and are told to focus mainly on the 'responsibilities' instead of the whole package (I myself had certain presuppositions that I've slowly become liberated of as I learned more about the deen). Furthermore, the astonishing rise in marriage failures also adds to its unappealing features for some and freaks (for the lack of a better word) many out. What some of us fail to see however is that many of these marriages on the breaking verge were initiated for all the wrong reasons and thus lacked the appropriate building blocks to begin with.

 

There's definitely great hikmah in marriage. However, It's very crucial for us to undertand its essentials and prepare ourselves well ahead of time according to the teachings of our religion (ie. learning about your rights/role/responsibilities and that of your future partner), so that Insha'Allah Allah will help us become strong and successful in our marital affairs.

 

For a child, the family atmosphere of love, affection and joy is their best chance for getting the attention and nurture from more enlightened parents and other significant adults.

Absolutely! I may be going off on a tangent here but I've observed so many families in our community who fail miserably to provide this vital atmospehere for their children. It's a shock to me really. Could this then be directly related to the increasing number of Somali youth who turn into violence, drugs and other detestable behaviours? The reason why some youth lose direction and lack inspiration or feel unimportant? hmmm

[Jabhad]

very good article. informative.