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Job one liners

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My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned, I couldn't concentrate.


Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.


After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.


Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.


I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it.


Then I tried to be a chef--figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.


Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.


My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.


I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patients.


Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.


I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.


Thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.


I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.


I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.


So then I got a job in a gymnasium (work-out-center), but they said I wasn't fit for the job.


Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.


After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.


My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

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Amateur Rapper/Freestyler

Media Bootlegger

Donut/Coffee Handler

Program Evaluator

Data Analyst

Jobless [pretending to be looking for a job]


I like to think I have many jobs, such as being a publisher, principle at 2 media/lifestyle brand development firms – all inside my head.

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