winnie

Nomads
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Content Count

    567

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by winnie

  8. Posted

    on istikhara

     

    some people view this as a passive way of dealing with issues, and others as a finale to their decision making, what is the correct view?

     

    for example, on proposing to farax.

    xalimo is relatively confident that farax would respond well, however farax is completely clueless because both abide by islamic code of conduct (little to no mixing)...

    some people say farax's cluelessness is a protection from Allah, citing the famous ayat which tells us we may like something but Allah may knows it is not good for us.

     

    so, how much is dependant on tawakkul, and how much is dependant on our actions?

    what if one follows up with actions and is met with further obstacles? is that then a sign, or just part of life's tests?

  10. Posted

    To talk to more than one brother at the same time is not Sunnah-Friendly, The Messenger of Allah SAWS instructed that Muslim men should never seek marriage of a woman who is considering a proposal from another. Halimos should not be auctioned for the best bidder, a single suitor must be given the opportunity at any given time, its called Khutbah.

     

    Western Halimos often talk to several brothers at the same time, while the Faraaxs to are doing the same thing, this practice is wrong, a Muslim man or a woman with an open file, must not open another until the first is closed.

     

    just to clarify, because I have heard slightly conflicting information, as soon as one is considering an individual bro/sis, even without an official proposal, the correct adhab is to not consider others?

     

     

    So, eNuri and Company strongly recommend that a Halimo should not wait her Faarax prince to come on a late Model ( 2009) Camel to oprpose, she should cut to the chase and find her Calaf her own Arawelo way! ( to make the farax ask for her

     

    i dont understand your last bit, are you saying she should find a way to make him ask? im going to assume that means make her interest known, which would prompt him to go to the parents, is that right?

     

    If a Faarax is not financial able, still a student or making less dollars in an hour than there are hours in the day, but she is financially well to do, its very noble for the Halimo to propose, provided that his ego is not the size of Kilimanjaro. If his ego is that big, that is worrisome anyway.

     

    so what if both parties are not financially able?

    is it best to forego such a proposal?

  11. Posted

    Im surprised there arent more threads on this subject.

     

    Sheikh Nur, I have some questions regarding marriage that I would love for you to shed some light on, and insha Allah others will learn from it as well.

     

    The questions are more sister oriented and are about the steps leading to marriage, in particular for those whose parents cannot or will not take an active role.

     

    At what point is a sister supposed to stop considering other brothers?

    More specifically, suppose a sister has a number of suitors, who have not formally proposed but have made it clear that they want to communicate for the goal of marriage, is it permissible to communicate with them all?

     

     

    How big of a deal is financial stability?

     

    How big of a deal is cultural compatibility?

     

    On the sisters approaching a brother, is there ever a situation where a sister should not follow Khadija's steps regarding this?

     

    How involved do the male gardians HAVE to be?

    Ill be more specific: if they are made aware their daughter/sister is considering x brother, is there anything they HAVE to do?

    How does one get the male gardians involved, if/when (due to ignorance) they dont see it necessary?

    is communicating via msn, instant messaging, or other similar methods permissible?

     

    For brothers who are not financially prepared, is it fitnah for them to be proposed to, whilst they are not considering marriage? or worried about finances (like have to take care of a parent, paying school, debt etc)?

  12. Posted

    ^^^ i remember when 911 happened, we would discuss, as a family, what ramifications this would have on somalis and my father's replies were sort of prophetic. he said:

     

    1) osama ben laden can't hide in somalia, despite all the chaos, because someone would rat him out for the reward money.

     

    2) people will falsely report others as terrorsits simply out of clan affiliations, and more particularly to rid themselves of an adversary.

  15. Posted

    Allah answers the call of every suppliant, so there are no requirements for your du'as to be answered, however there are conditions to ensure your du'as are not ignored.

     

     

    the ones i know of are:

    1) your pillars must be established, and on time (your five daily salaats in particular)

    2) you must rid yourself of major sins, and things that weaken your faith.

    3) ensure your food is halal

    4) ensure your wealth is halal

    5) connecting, or staying connected with the family (your mother in particular).

     

     

     

    Khushoo is something you can nurture.

    Extract the things that distract you (music i think should be on everyone's list and SOL somewhere in the top 5).

    Make sure the space you do your salat in is clean with very few visual and audio distractions.

     

    Schedule your salaats the day before. We have busy lives, and sometimes have to rush our salaats because we didnt plan it into our daily affairs.

     

    Make du'a before the salaat, or learn some new ones and recite them before salaat.

     

    Call the adhan, or if you are at the mosque, reply to it.

     

    Think of your salaat as your last salaat before you die. Your very last one, and every time you get up for the next rak'ah renew your intentions and revive the image/knowledge that you are standing before your Lord.

     

    Recite suratul fatiha slowly, and with understanding, for Allah replies to it.

     

    Recite some new surahs. Switch it up a bit, and if you are not an arabic speaker than learn what you are saying (at least the gist of it).

     

    Sometimes doing a little inventory helps as well. Take a look at your actions/ morals and how they stand lately; see if there is something you can improve or rid yourself of, like lying, backbiting or miserliness.

     

    I read an ayat recently in suratu tawbah stating that whomever breaks a promise with Allah, than Allah places hypocrisy in his/her heart until the day of judgement...

    Hypocrisy is something we all have to protect ourselves from, whether it is purposeful or unintentional, since once it is deposited in the heart, it infects everything else.

     

    That is pretty much what I have learned, and Allah knows best.

     

    I hope this was helpful (it was helpful for me, I like these reminders).

     

    I pray that Allah gives you success in this world and in the next, amiin.

  16. Posted

    btw, i think i see where your argument is going, and I, at the moment have no objections, however, given the very proof you have cited has a different meaning, a different conclusion can be garnered.

     

    but Ill let xinn join you first.

  17. Posted

    well the ayat in surat ul tawbah uses the word, al-3rabiy shadd-du, not bedouins.

     

    that includes arab city dwellers as well as country folk cause they all live in the desert.

    i think your use of Bedouins is a bit of a stretch, because it makes it seem as though Allah were speaking to that particular group instead of Arabs in general as the actual wording, and the context of the ayat's revelation, suggests.

     

    same thing for surat-ul hujurat.

    it was revealed when there was an increase in fighting amongst the muslims, the majority of whom were arabs but of different tribes and origins.

    Allah (and He knows best) isnt singling out the bedouins in either surats, he is admonshing the ansaar, muhajireen, and the bedouins altogether.

  18. Posted

    ^^^ are they known for suicide bombings?

     

    most people see them as the group at the forefront of the resistance against the ethiopians, and that my friend does legitimize their cause in islam.

     

    btw, where are you getting the "women as shields" from?

     

    it sounds reminiscent of what the american media used to report about the iraqi insurgents, almost as a way to divert the blame of civilian death from the army.

     

    the insurgents were using bodies as shields though, and as other tools, but they were dead bodies of men, women and children.

     

    the facts are still quite horrific, but the media only transmitted a portion of the truth.

     

     

    p.s im not pro shabab, nor am i pro abdullahi yusuf/tfg.

  19. Posted

    uhm... did you just make your little tafseer on those surahs?

    in surat-ul tawbah, for example, Allah is addressing the hypocrites, in particular the people who dodged the battle of Tabuk.

    that would include the ansar, the muhajireen and the bedouins.

     

    the bedouins, though criticized often, were sometimes praised for their pride which would make them hate falling into error.

     

    furthermore, they weren't blanketly suspected of hypocrisy, as you are suggesting.

    if there were a demographic group during the prophet's time suspected of hypocrisy, it was the jews who vehemntly did not want to accept an arab as their leader, and who couldn't openly fight against the muslims without severe repercussions both financially and socially.

     

    can i know what tafseer you are using?

    i know its common in debates to twist evidence to fit your argument, but surely the quran holds a different status? no?

  23. Posted

    ^^^okay, lets put the pleasure aspect aside.

    from a scattalogical level (perhaps wrong word). sex for women is an intrusive/ invasive act.

    im not saying women dont enjoy it, but it can be painful, especially the first time.

    the same cant be said for men.

    i think that is the reason why rape or sexual abuse is felt more profoundly when the victim/abuser relationship is female/male instead of vice versa.

    the outrage discrepancy is not necessarily parallled by the victims but, as we can see, by society.

     

    having said that, if the abuser were male, a similar level of outrage would have been felt for the victims, be they male or female, because of the "invasion" of the body involved.

     

    now, putting the emotional and physical damage aside, this case poses a moral dilemma.

     

    when a person of authority abuses their position for sexual favours, shouldnt they be held accountable.

    suppose this boy had it in his head to become a priest, or save his chastity for his wifey... a woman seducing him into her arms doesnt equate to abuse, but a woman of authority putting it into his head that there will be dire consequences if he doesnt do as she says, does.

     

    if i have sons, we're going to go over the tafseer of surat-ul yusuf.

  25. Posted

    yes, but who/where are our scholars?

     

    we have people today claiming to establish such a "halal government" but time and time again they go astray either through ignorance, avarice or a combination of both.

     

    i have a question though, if we were to set up a shariah state, is there legitimacy in wanting to establish it in stages?

     

    as in re-education first, and public huduud last?

     

    or must it arrive all in one shot?