Aabbe, Stop Beating My Mom: Intersection of Domestic Violence and Child Abuse

[kingofkings]

Case study of Farah Geeseey

 

Farah Geeseey has been a witness to domestic violence throughout his life. On one particular day, he remembers his father calling his mother, “Naayaa”. With a very distinctive voice, the mother did not respond. Ms. Geeseey did not respond because she was calming down their clinging three-month old infant clinging on her back. Mr. Geeseey was fuming inside. When she finally came in the family’s dwelling (Aqal), Geeseey started beating her with his wooden stick. Farah saw his mother bolt out of the Aqal like she was shot from the barrel of a gun. Right on her heel was his father, tall, slender, and in his late twenties.

 

A few minutes later, Geeseey was on top of his wife pounding her with all of his might. No, Farah was not watching a staged MMA (Mix Martial Arts) fight on pay-per-view but a real live drama was evolving in front of hi eyes, involving his blood and flesh, his own parents. One could hear her scream for help miles away, but no one came to her rescue. No one came to her rescue because Mr. Geeseey told his neighbors in advance not to intervene, if they do, he will divorce his wife with all of her three talaqs. Through time, Farah witnessed many more incidents like this unfold in his household.

 

Farah grew up idolizing his father who was rich and confident with a physique of a gladiator. Farah wanted to be like his father. Mr. Geeseey also liked his son a lot-a complete mirror image of himself. He could not be more proud of his genetic imprints.

 

Fast forward it to 1999. Farah came to the USA with his young wife and their two children-Nimco and Mahad. In the beginning, life was tough for the Geeseey family in their new country. With no formal education and no skills, Farah had difficulty finding a job. Except for the occasional employment at one of the slaughter houses in the Dakota’s, Farah was not able to provide for his family.

 

The family went to apply for public assistance and was also lucky enough to find a fully subsidized housing. Farah ended up being a cab driver in the twin cities metro suburbs. But Farah was no longer the bread winner or head of his household. As they say, all habits don’t die. Farah had physically abused his wife. What Farah failed to realize, however, was that, he could no longer tell others not to intervene when beating his wife. Farah was arrested multiple times for battering his wife and hitting his children. Eventually, Farah and his wife divorced and led separate lives.

 

Mahad, now 14, is defiant and has become a thorn in the side of his school staff and of his mother. He goes to school when he wants and wont’ when he does not feel like it. Mahad is a bully; he is a bully on the school bus, in the court yard, and at home. He hits his siblings, and even his mother. At his tender age, young Farah is well known at the juvenile service centers and in the local law enforcement.

 

Nimco, now 16, is attracted to the biggest thug in her neighborhood, an 18 year old dropout who lives with his grandmother because both of his parents are incarcerated. She is staying with her man because he makes her feel safe, Nimco, explains.

 

Domestic violence harms children in so many ways. Even when children are not the intended target of abuse, they still suffer emotional and psychological damage in a violent household. They can also learn from their parents and become abusers or victims of abuse.

 

A few days ago, I had an interesting conversation with a group of elderly Somali men. Our topic of discussion was how difficult it has become for them to be responsible parents in America. One reminded me the old Somali adage of “carruuri gaalona ma’aha Islaamna ma’aha” which can be translated as “children are neither believers (Muslim) nor non-believers” which in turn reminded me this other Somali saying “haween waa carruur raad wayn” which also roughly could be translated as “women are children with large shoe sizes”. This gentleman kept on saying how his wife undermines his authority; how she allows the children run her life but failed to say what he has done to mitigate the situation.

 

Our conversation in the crowded coffee shop prompted me to wonder what this old geezer was longing for, beating his children or his wife, or perhaps both. Parents have the biggest influence on their children’s behavior. We all heard the phrase “children see, children do”. And as this case study demonstrates for us, the behavior of abuse is transmitted within the family from generation to the next, and the cycle of violence keeps on until someone breaks free.

[Somalia]

Reminded me of a family I knew of.

[kingofkings]

Somalia;810207 wrote:

Reminded me of a family I knew of.

some people need to adopt to their environment. i knew a guy who did the same thing and guess what, he ended up in jail. fellas, we're not in Somalia anymore. on the other hand, abusing your wife or your husband (it does happen sometimes) should be one of those things you shouldn't do regardless of situations or circumstances. Furthermore, i don't think either one of you married to get abused. so, rule of thumb, any form of abuse is not only immoral, but also, blatantly put, WRONG.

[xalima1000]

@kingofkings, Regardless of weather you are in somalia or outside of somalia domestic violence is never allowed. Thank allah i was born nto a family that didn't do it. And YES there are wivies out there who abuse their husbands. Men who abuse their wives tend to use physical abuse such as slaps, punches, etc. Women use nonverbal technics. For example a wife who calls her husband short everyday or who always to him "you are just not man enough for me" or "when i find a younger man i will leave him for you" or who demands he gives her everything she she wants. That is a form of abuse as well or am i wrong?

[oba hiloowlow]

This shit is wrong the fathers are role models and the kids will do what their father does look at ciyaalka mid is a bully gabartana has a thug bf,, a man beating his wife what a looser