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This made me laugh on the way to work this morning lol

 

Australian student sells his life on eBay, including 'cranky girlfriend'

 

By Kathy Marks

Published: 25 January 2007

 

Fancy a new life? An Australian man is selling his on the auction site eBay, offering his name, phone number, worldly possessions and circle of friends to the highest bidder.

 

Nicael Holt, a 24-year-old philosophy student, has promised to introduce the buyer to his potential lovers - "around eight which I have been flirting with", as he put it on his eBay entry - and his grand repertoire of six jokes.

 

Bidding started at A$5 (£2) and closed yesterday at A$7,500. Mr Holt, from Wollongong, south of Sydney, said he would go through with the deal if any of the top five bidders were genuine and prepared to pay cash.

 

Under an entry posted on the site earlier this month, headed "New Life for Sale!!", Mr Holt offered a broken relationship with a cranky ex-girlfriend and a four-week training course "in becoming me", including fashion sense, food tastes and "style of seduction".

 

He wrote that he would give the buyer "lessons in my personal history (the good and the bad stuff)", and teach them his skills, including surfing, skateboarding, handstands and "fire-twirling". From March, the new Mr Holt would also "have access to a cruisy job delivering fruit".

 

The real Mr Holt appears to have loftier ambitions. He told ABC radio yesterday that he planned to make a documentary about his business venture. "If any of them [the bidders] are real, I'll definitely do it, and do this documentary, because I think it would be really interesting," he said.

 

"But if the next five bids aren't serious, I think I might be just about ready to give up."

 

The sale attracted 48 bids, with the identity and gender of the highest bidder - codenamed "ridderstrade"- unknown. eBay did not comment on the sale, but allowed it to run its course.

 

The possessions offered include Mr Holt's bed, clothes, collection of 300 CDs, surfboard, skateboard, childhood photographs, backpack, "nice lamp which your ex-girlfriend bought you", a bicycle with "wonky handlebars" and "piercings to the value of $180".

 

Mr Holt promised to introduce the buyer to his social circle, comprising "15 close friends and about 170 other friends". He wrote in his entry: "Friends will treat you exactly as they have treated me... take me running, surfing, climbing and cook for me."

 

But the deal would not include his passport, driving licence, academic qualifications, legal identity or inheritance rights. And Mr Holt warned in ominous tones: "I have 2 nemeses."

 

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