Mindstate

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Everything posted by Mindstate

  1. Xalima,is that tha latest pick up line in Minnesota?
  2. Originally posted by OG_Girl: loooooool mindstate, easy cousin , she just said her opinion , she did not say she will marry one LOOOOOOL Og girl
  3. Allaha unaxariisto intii dhimataya allaha unaxariisto qatumada allaha nawafaajiyo wadankeena dowlad daacad ah allaha nooga dhaliyo waxii xun allaha soo hanuuniyo aniga xataa wa kujiraa allaha isoo hanuuniyo Aaamiin Xalimo wat an article ya got there
  4. Originally posted by Raxmah: Midstate-- There are many non somali muslims, who are much better if this is so go and marry 'em
  5. Buumaaye wellcome to S.O.L brother
  6. Buumaaye wellcome to S.O.L brother
  7. Originally posted by OG_Girl: orriginally posted by Mindstate quote: plus why somali guys marry somali girls and that is ok ?is it crime if i marry my somali sister?
  8. I too was thinking all about this nice boy/mean guy crap, until I realized that if a woman is willing to date/like a punk/druggie/sex-whore/bully, etc. that woman is NOT FOR ME. Now the world is broken up into mean guys who date trashy girls, and the decent girl who are looking for something better.
  9. Originally posted by rayaana: so many somali sisters marrying african americans, jamiacans, arabs just because guys like Qoslaaye think we are CHEAP and bloody IGNORANT :mad: :mad: :mad: Makes me wonder how much respect they have for themselves if their willing to be with such jamaican or non somali...
  10. Originally posted by xalimo7: Hey you damn seem a sex maniac , chill. lol dis is funny na'mean i Vote fo' Batuulo coz her avator is cool
  11. I absolutely agree with you Master Mafia. Relationship is not about Love alone. At first, yes, it feels good to hang on to someone and be blinded with love . The saddest part of such belief, as time goes on, we develop negative energies such as frustrations, heartaches, bruised pride, and even lose our self-respect as well as self-esteem when the person you love has no sensitivity to try to grow or change for the better. Who wants someone who can't even treat nicely her own family and people from all walks of life? I used to be so inlove with my ex gf and we get to live together for (3) long years. I was young to realize the value of loving myself first. I have loved her more than I could even love myself. I see her disrespect her mom and siblings. I comforted myself that it's normal for her to do the same thing to me coz she can't even respect her own mother. Indeed I was mentally and physically battered but I hanged on with the relationship, just becoz of that crazy , It was not healthy for me and I am glad I got out it before I lose my sanity. The rabbi is not saying our partner should possessed all those extraordinary qualities. It's plain and reasonable. If both of you have different interest and no one wants to make compromises, do you think the relationship works? Compatibility is important to enjoy each other's company. There are no set rules or guidelines for Love...The choice to be in a relationship is up to you. But we need some guidelines for the kind of relationship we desire. We all have a free choice from our God, yet, we have Ten Commandments to guide us to keep our moral values intact, otherwise it will be a chaotic, miserable world for all of us. I have read the book by Cherie Carter-Scott, Phd "IF LOVE IS A GAME, THESE ARE THE RULES..Ten Rules for Finding Love and Creating Long-Lasting, Authentic Relationships". Let me share with you some lines from the book: "Love requires that we go deeper than the thrill of infatuation, and beyond the rush of chemistry. Many people have bought into the myth that there is someone out there who will serve as our better half. This paradigm presumes that we are incomplete and require a partner to make us whole, and it feeds into what I call the hole in the soul syndrome` a core sense of insufficiency leading to feelings of emptiness, neediness and self-reproach. Because of these feelings, we look for a partner to fill the holes. Wanting connotes sufficiency and desire; needing connotes insufficiency and dependency. "I need" creates a vacuum effect that forces you to clutch, grab, cling, and consume; "I want" creates an openness that enables you to explore, consider, and shape the relationship you desire. It is only when you operate from the basis of being a whole person that you can find love based on "want" and not on "need". IF THERE IS ONE BASIC LAW ABOUT THE ENERGY OF LOVE, IT IS THIS: HOW YOU PERCEIVE AND TREAT YOURSELF IS EXACTLY HOW OTHERS WILL PERCEIVE AND TREAT YOU". It is a wonderful feeling to fall inlove but we also have to think of ourselves. Partnering is a choice. We have to choose the kind of person we want to live with for the rest of our lives. We all deserve to be happy, treated with respect and care. Life doesn't make us, we make our own life.
  12. Hello, I'm kinda new to this, but I wanted to ask this.. why does the mean guy always win? especially in my case.. I know it might be out of arrogance to say that i'm a nice guy... because I believe its the matter of a opinion of someone else to consider someone a nice guy.. but I know I treat a girl a lot better then alot of people I know.. I'm polite, I'm well mannered.. I focus on the girl I talked to her, I show respect I dress very casual and here I see another guy on the other hand who doesn't show any respect.. who disrespects the girl and shows no proper manners, he swears at the girl, drinks does drugs etc and looks like everytime they go out and yet the girl keeps coming back.. I mean can someone explain this to me?? or what am I doing wrong? I just can't figure it out...
  13. wow- a question thats not about sex. so anyways, kissing is like the fundamental part of a physical relationship. you can do so much with it, and you can do so much while doing it. personally, i like the really long passionate kisses that last like 10 mins, but short and sweet ones are nice too, depending on the mood. a good kiss usually starts out kinda soft, and then slowly gets more fierce and passionate. kissing is a lot of fun. have fun! peace.
  14. Originally posted by Shyhem: MIndstate Now i have another feeling,are u sure u ain't Clown brother.I mean nothing wrong with the clown but u too have the same style of writing stuff up who's clown?
  15. I'd like to share this article I've read as a guide before we think of getting married. (by Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.) A relationship coach lays out his 5 golden rules for evaluating the prospects of long-term success. When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50 percent, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Ms. Right! If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love." I believe is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love (alone). Though this may sound not politically correct, there's a profound truth here. Love (alone) is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more. Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner. QUESTION #1: Do we share a common life purpose? Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. 50 percent of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life - bottom line- and marry someone who wants the same thing. QUESTION #2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person? This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry. QUESTION #3: Is he/she a mensch? A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing. "So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle. QUESTION #4: How does he/she treat other people? The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as a waiters, bus boy, taxi driver, etc. How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? Do they show respect? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they'll have gratitude for you-who can't do nearly as much for them! Do they gossip and speak badly about others? Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well. QUESTION #5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married? Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it, "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage ... for the worse!" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework
  16. Master Mafia Thank you for your advice. I talked to my partner about how I felt and she understood me. I was a little hesitant at first, but I managed to tactfully say what was in my mind. I told her that I am considering her ideas. I found out that I am getting a little comfortable about certain things that she has proposed. Thinking about her ideas helps me to visualize and to accept. I still have a difficult time but she is managing to tear down my walls looooooooool@ Raula, nini ime kushtua? ume checki website yangu alafu ume ona nini? ni ambiye? na taka ni jue sawa. i'll PM ya latta
  17. Originally posted by Shyhem: Why do i get the feelings that someone was sent to "downtown" but he is not interested. Me not giving free advice nowadays,swipe the plastic and we shall see what u should or shouldn't do. lol @shyhem mshamba ume sha anza raula kaliga inaa taqaanid maa mooday?
  18. salaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam all ya'll maliz Yeah... I know it is a funny question but I am sure that some of us have this problem. I have a very creative partner and it pleases me but there are times that her sexual ideas are quite difficult to accept. I don't tell her right away what I intentionally think. I would take sometime to rethink the idea before blurting out something that may eventually hurt her. Often times I would just say, "No Comment!" and keep my thoughts to myself, but I feel this is unfair in her part if I continue to do this. Sometimes rethinking helps me accept but there are times that it doesn't seem to work. I can't seem to accept the ideas that she has in mind. Is it good to keep what I think inside because I don't want to hurt her by telling her how I really feel? How can I tell her in a way that she will understand me and not find my rejection offending? Thanks in advance...