Tillamook

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Posts posted by Tillamook

  1. Posted

    4th Installment..

     

    How long they ran, we will never know-- but Abtigiis and Tillamook, seemed to be of the same mind as they tried to put as much distance between themselves and Officer Haatu. But unfortunately for them, it was was too late: Eastleigh was quickly filling up with Officer Haatu’s compatriots, for police backup had arrived. Dozens of heavily armed paratroopers were scouring the neighborhood, setting up roadblocks, and being pretty rough with the Somali locals of the place.

     

    Tillamook: Sh!t, cops everywhere. Thank goodness it’s getting dark: Unfortunately, our best bet now is to get back to that horrid restaurant and hide in amongst the crowd. We cannot shift to anywhere else.

     

    Abtigiis: OH HELL NO! I am NOT going back there! You must be out your mind...I am going back to my hotel in Spring Valley.

     

    Tillamook: Don’t be foolish, Eastleigh is getting shut down-- if it hasn’t been already. Nothing going in and nothing going out! Besides, I assure you, they are searching for you in every hotel and every guesthouse in Kenya by now. What we need to do is go back and mix-in with the crowd outside that restaurant. It’s for your own good...

     

    Abtigiis: Horta, WHO are you and WHY did you run after me anyway and WHAT do you want, for heaven sake?

     

    Tillamook: I will explain myself to you when I get you to safety-- but first; let’s move!

     

    So they straightened out their shirts and headed back towards the restaurant, keeping away from the main streets and the police. Sure enough, there was a huge gathering of people just outside the restaurant. Ambulances and police sirens bellowed continuously left and right. Abtigiis and Tillamook slowly strolled to the middle of the crowd, and attempted to make themselves vanish in it. But as bad luck would have it, who should be brought out on a stretcher-- prostate and unflinching-- but Officer Haatu, followed by another stretcher occupied by a moaning and grotesquely bleeding, Officer Abasi.

     

    Abtigiis:* shrieking at the sight of the two officers* I say, Tillamook, do you think Mooge shot those two?

     

    Office Haatu must have heard this whispered comment; for he suddenly twisted in his stretcher and looked searchingly straight into the crowd, who were only a few feet away, and as if he had some sort of homing device on Abtigiis, pointed his finger at him.

     

    Officer Haatu: THERE THEY ARE...*he squeals*... ARREST them! ARREST THEM!!!

     

    Abtigiis and Tillamook were off like two rabbits before the cops had even comprehended the order given to them; but seeing them run, the cops gave pursuit on the double.

     

    Although they had a good start; Eastleigh is damned bad place to play Usain Bolt with the police. The streets are too congested with people and traffic( Eastleigh, you must know, is the little Mogadishu of Nairobi, and one gigantic business hub with huge shopping complexes, excellent eating-places and money transfer services scattered everywhere). And besides, the cops seemed to be very fit fellows, especially the two in the front, because they begun to gain on our two fugitives, shouting after them to halt. Tillamook glanced over his shoulder, saw what was up and slowed his pace:

     

    Abtigiis: Keep up man! Are you tired already?

     

    Tillamook: No, I am not tired: Am gonna slow ‘em down for you, so make sure they don’t get you at all cost...ya hear! There are only two--no wait, fcuk--there’s three more behind them... but at least they are not armed. I guess I will just have to do my very best saaxiib.

     

    Abtigiis: You must be going absolutely bonkers, mate. In case you forgot, those guys may not be armed, but their backup definitely will be and they sure as hell will not think twice about shooting you. Marka, meesha ha isku dillin, ninyahow!

     

    Tillamook: You just leave them to me. It is of paramount importance that you get away. I will slow them down while you get away, so skedaddle! *turns around to confront the policemen with raised fists and cries* C’MON YOU MUTHAFCUKERS!!

     

    To be Continued...

  4. Posted

    As I wrote earlier on the thread that was taken down, what the author calls for is wishful thinking. Mogadishu for better or worse is now effectively a one clan city and having the President nominate folks from other clans to govern in Mogadishu, yet not have the power to do the same in Hargaysa, bosaaso, etc is firstly naive, and secondly just not fair.

     

    I personally believe Somalis should accept that Mogadishu of today will never return to the multi clan cosmopolitan Mogadishu of yesteryears.

    However, that being said, I think a rather more productive conversation we ought to be having is the capital status of the city.

  7. Posted

    sharma-arke451;880485 wrote:
    blind tribal bigotry-audacity like the above comment, is causing Somali people peace.

    the three tuloos oo reer zack, lagarayee, adiga inteed dagtaaaa????

     

    are you saying nfd and o desert is sufficient for them, OO juboyiinka haiska dayaan????

    Aniga China ayaa reerkaygu dagaa, so good luck trying to pigeonhole me into your little cranium:D

     

    FYI, the reason I brought up the NFD and the O was to highlight the inherent hypocrisy in using Kenyan muscle to further their myopic points of view in the lower Juba province.

  9. Posted

    While I respect the right of the Zacks sub clan to aggressively pursue their perceived interest in becoming the shot callers of any future administration that will run the Lower Juba province, I sincerely believe relying too much on the borrowed muscle of Kenya troops will backfire. That region is too diverse and too complicated and too important for many Somali clans, and for one sub clan to assume they will subjugate all others with the aid of Kenyan troops is I think bad politics.

     

    Kismayu needs an administration that is inclusive for all Somalis. This cantrabaqash about one clan dominating others will not fly, especially with the help of foreign forces. Also lest we forget, Al Shabab might use this as a way to recruit support which I'm sure is the last thing Somalia and Kenya would want.

  10. Posted

    Dear Leezu,

     

    Although I disagree with your absurd point of view regarding a very integral segment of Somali society, I will defend your right to say it, unlike these hypocrites here who are rebuking you with their 'holier than thou' zeal, but yet hold similar, if not extreme, feelings towards other Somalis as well.

     

    P.S

    Leezu, if you're unable to lay proper piping, no need to take your frustrations out on the real dudes who can..:D:D

  11. Posted

    Oba cut the cheap sentimentalism. No need to spout such silly generalizations. All Arabs are not like those Arabs who did all those horrendous things to that woman, neither are all Tahriibis people running from difficult circumstances.

     

    I assure you for every tahriibi who goes through hell like this woman, there hundreds more who don't experience such hardships to get to where they going. But sh!t happens, so if you wanna beg the question WHY does so much evil happen in this world, well...pick a number and wait in line-- it's gonna be a very long wait.

  12. Posted

    Malika;879010 wrote:
    ^Eeww.

     

    I dont have problem with lifts, just the other day caught myself checking my gums on the lift mirror only to realise after I got off, that there is a camera in there - glad it was only my gums I was checking out and not adjusting anything else..heh

    No, indeed, we wouldn't want you to give a free peep show, would we?:D

  13. Posted

    ^

    Dude, I used to spend aprrox $200 to fill up my Raptor every week. The last time I filled up my Volt on the other hand, I spent $40 and that was almost 3 months ago. So yeah, the savings are real.

     

    We have charging stations in several places near were I live, but I have never used them personally. I just plug my car in the garage every other night and that usually is enough to take me to work and wherever else I need to be.

  14. Posted

    Earlier in the year, I got myself a Volt and believe you me, am glad I did with the way gas prices are going up in California.

     

    To those SOLers living in Cali, I recommend you get yourself an electric car as well. Besides, the savings you would make, by not paying an arm and leg for gas, the other incentives to get one are most attractive.

     

    When I bought mine, I earned close to $7500 tax credit from Uncle Sam and a further $2000 from Governor Brown. Also, driving in the diamond lane WITHOUT a second passenger and being able to park for free in all metered parking throughout my county and most major cities is a huge plus.

  15. Posted

    I don't know about you lot, but whenever I get in an elevator, I get a strong urge to partake in a bit of flatulence. Most of the time, I am able to resist the temptation to unleash one, but there have been a couple of times in my life when I've let a hot one rip just before someone else boarded the darn thing. Call it bad luck, or bad manners, but it's times like that I wish I had the indha-adeygnimo of my Mudug countrymen. :D:D

  16. Posted

    ^

    Apophis, patience my boy: I promise to dedicate a whole installment to your qabiil--whatever it is. :D

     

     

     

    NGONGE;878802 wrote:
    Started slowly but it was worth the read. Though the idea that Mooge can beat two men without the use of his tongue or keyboard is a tad farfetched.
    :D
    :D

    Ngonge, although I took a bit of artistic license to achieve a more humorous effect, I wouldn't underestimate Mooge's toughness.

     

    Imagine, if you can, an African Wild Dog in the savannas of the Serengeti, and you will have an idea of the ferocious appearance and awesome formidability of the man from the Puntland State of Somalia. :D:D:D

  17. Posted

    This argument is the most trifling and frivolous ever.

     

    The capital status of Mogadishu will not be determined by any one particular segment of Somali society, be it Unuka or any other clan, but rather by the effectiveness and inclusiveness of the current and future governments of the Somali Republic.

     

    So gentlemen, desist from this type of girlish bickering!

  18. Posted

    ^

    Sida geedaha loo abuuro ina la baro bey ubaahanyihiin.

     

    Education and time will heal the land

     

    P.S

    Maskiin, unless the people are provided alternative revenue sources, criticizing their charcoal burning activities will be moot. Am sure, no right thinking Somali will trade in charcoal if better income avenues were available to him or her

  24. Posted

    By now there was a crowd of men in the restaurant forming round the table where the commotion was taking place. However, a majority of them were Somalis who were in Kenya without the right documentation and were fairly uninterested in getting involved in matters concerning the police, besides Officer Haatu was a big fellow, which might have further discouraged them from interfering.

     

    Tillamook was still sitting irresolutely next to Mooge, when he decided to chime in...

     

    Tillamook: Hold on Officer. Are you sure this is the person you think he is?

     

    Officer Haatu: Of Course, am sure! Do you want me to arrest the both of you for obstruction of justice?*points finger at Tillamook and Mooge*

     

    Hearing this, Tillamook and Mooge both turned their faces away, and then another police officers rushed into the restaurant and seized control of Abtigiis, while Officer Haatu stood back and took a breather.

     

    Officer Haatu: I’d know the scoundrel from anywhere--There is no mistaking his lanky looks and British accent--

     

    Abtigiis:*protesting desperately* This is a lie...it must be a mistake...war waxaan wuu sarqaansanyahay...I don’t know what he is talking about! Let me go!

     

    Officer Haatu: DRUNK, AM I? Why, you impudent rascal! I will have...

     

    Just before Officer Haatu was gettin' ready to unleash a verbal jihad on Abtigiis, the policeman holding down Abtigiis spoke...

     

    Officer Abasi: Please, Haatu, calm down-- you just take it easy now: We should handle this thing like professionals. Will you two gentlemen accompany us to the station. We have a few questions we wanna ask the two of you. *This was directed to Mooge and Tillamook who by now were trying to look invisible by imitating a pair of goats with a secret sorrow*

     

    Tillamook: Officer, I hardly know him. I just met both of them barely half an hour before you walked in.

     

    Officer Abasi: *This was to Mooge* You, sir! You were sitting with the suspect--how do you know him?

     

    Everyone looked at Mooge, who for the first time became flustered and uncomfortable.

     

    Mooge: I HAVE NEVER SEEN HIM BEFORE IN MY LIFE! He came to our table uninvited and begged for a glass of caanoboore. I wanted to shoo him away, but my colleague here *points finger at Tillamook* was feeling a little generous, and invited him to join us.

     

    Both Tillamook and Abtigiis were struck speechless, not only at the brazen lie, but the casual manner with which Mooge uttered it.

     

    Tillamook:*frowning* But it was the two of you who called me over to join your table. Officer, you’ve got to believe me; the waiters can vouch for me!

     

    At this, Officer Haatu moved nimbly in between Mooge and the exit door, just as Mooge looked like he was about to bolt.

     

    Officer Haatu: Now you just take it easy there. I believe you just might be an accomplice of his. I reckon I should put you under arrest as well, and take you in for questioning.

     

    Mooge: Get out of my way, you bloody jokoraa, or by God you won’t live to regret it!

     

    Officer Haatu: *unclipping his gun holster* Please give me a reason to blast you away--I haven’t shot anyone in two days. Make a move...I dare you.

     

    For a moment, Mooge stood paralyzed, while his eyes turned red with rage. Then all of a sudden, without warning and with lightning speed, his hands were wrestling Officer Haatu’s hands, trying to reach for the policeman's sidearm. You wouldn’t believe it; but here was this skinny, middle-aged Somali man, barely half the size of the ugali bred Sujui policeman--and suddenly it was like a gorilla gone amok. When he was unable to wrestle the gun off the cop, he took one short step to the side and unleashed two thunderous fists into policeman’s torso; the officer gave out a loud yelp before he fell onto the floor, Mooge reached down to grab the stupefied policeman’s jacket and flung him like a sack of potatoes over the table.

     

    Mooge: Nafta hadaan kaa jari waayo, najis yahow najisku dhalay *says he, as he walked towards Officer Haatu who was groaning on the floor of the far left corner of the restaurant*

     

    This was a mistake, for it gave Officer Abasi --who was still pinning down Abtigiis--a chance to clobber him with a punch on the back of the head. Mooge stumbled and then turned around to face the new threat, but before Officer Abasi could reap the consequences of his folly, Officer Haatu was quickly up again, and he tripped Mooge with his leg.

     

    Abtigiis-- realizing he was momentarily freed from his captors--made a frantic dash for the door. Tillamook, who for the most part was not involved in the scuffle, and was trying to remain inconspicuous, decided to join Abtigiis and ran after him.

     

    Meanwhile, inside the restaurant, it seemed like a reenactment of the rumble in the jungle was underway; Mooge was on his feet again, with a bloody lip--which looked ghastly--mumbling noisily and angrily to himself; Officer Haatu was back on the floor but had a hold on Mooge’s slacks, which looked rather ridiculous, while Officer Abasi had his arms around Mooge’s waste --and then it happened, out of nowhere, Mooge got a hold of one of the police officer’s pistol.

     

    Mooge squeezed. There was a sudden loud boom: Officer Abasi gave out a loud scream.Then Officer Haatu made a desperate attempt to reach for his own gun, but it was too late. Mooge squeezed the trigger again, and another loud boom was heard...

     

    Then there was dead silence...

     

     

    TO BE CONTINUED!

  25. Posted

    Abtigiis was in a fine a fettle, enjoying the company of Mooge and the ferocious banter they shared, when all of sudden:

     

    Mooge: Saaxiib, maxaa kaligaa ku fariiseyey meeshaas? Come join us!

     

    Tillamook: *gingerly* Are you talking to me?

     

    Mooge: HAA ADIGA! (*quietly to Abtigiis* War wuxu ma na'cas baa?) YES, PLEASE JOIN US!

     

    Abtigiis: How are you doing saaxiib? My name is Abtigiis, are you new to this town? What will you have to drink, my friend?

     

    Tillamook: I will have some mango juice... and yes, am sorta new. I used to live out here many years ago, but am back now for a work related assignment. My name is Tillamook, pleased to meet you both.

     

    Mooge: The pleasure is all ours, Mr. Tillamook. Tell us, what do you do?

     

    Tillamook: I'm reporter for the globally syndicated SOL news magazine.

     

    Abtigiis: Ah, that’s quite impressive indeed! Tell us, what story are you working on at the moment?

     

    Tillamook: Well, as you are all aware of, the excursion of Kenyan troops into southern Somalia seems to be a hot topic of late in all the Somali news portals. A lot of Somali folk are a bit agitated by the whole affair.

     

    Mooge: What do you mean when you say, “AGITATED”? Don’t tell me you are one of those naive ones.

     

    Abtigiis:*taken aback by Mooge’s tone towards Tillamook* I don’t suppose you have to support it, but personally I can’t condemn it . It seems to have achieved its goal of liberating Kismayu for us...err, I mean, for the Somali people from the clutches of Al Shabaab, and since I believe that to be a good thing, I know better than to jump to the dumb sort of patriotism that has become fashionable amongst Somalis these days, let me tell you--

     

    Tillamook: And let me tell you: I just report the news, and I try to keep my personal opinions to myself...

     

    Just then a police officer wearing a khaki jacket and hat, entered the restaurant and walked straight up to their table. “ Excuse me gentlemen, my name is Officer Haatu Wangai and I’m with the Kenyan Secret Police!” barks he. “It took me seven days to find you, by God-- If only I had looked here first!” He turned to Abtigiis and collared him.

     

    Abtigiis: *with a pusillanimous smile and looking rather perplexed* I beg your pardon, sir, but I don’t believe I have the pleasure of your acquaintance.

     

    Mooge and Tillamook, filled with confusion and bewilderment, just sat there trying to make sense of this brazen effrontery toward their colleague...

     

    Officer Haatu: Haven’t you, you gun running, money laundering, rebel rousing vermin! I sure as hell have the pleasure of yours! *speaks into radio* Bwana-- send me backup--quick dammit, I’ve got him!

     

    Mooge and Tillamook gaped in sheer amazement as Officer Haatu pulled Abtigiis out of his chair and shoved him hard onto the wall, pinning him there and roughly manhandling him.

     

    Office Haatu: I am putting you under arrest for the attempted murder and stabbing of the Somali singer Nimco Dareen at the Nairobi concert last month and a myriad other crimes. Don’t make any rash moves now, I have orders to shoot you if you try to resist--now, you baboon, hold still there!

     

    Abtigiis: Damn you man, will your threaten me in public? I had nothing to do with that woman's stabbing. I know my rights, and once my lawyer hears this, I’m gonna sue you and you will rot in hell..

     

    Officer Haatu: Save your protestations for later. C’mon, get up and let’s go! What are you scared of, you beast? I won’t do anything to you until we get to the station, and you wouldn’t dare run on me, would you? No, you better not, unless you want me to use your back for target practice. *he grins nastily*

     

    Abtigiis: You’re wrong! You have mistaken me for someone else, dammit! My name is not Abtigiis! Get your hands off me, you imbecile!

     

    Mooge: war balaayo inagaa aragney! War magacaaga ha diidin, ina Adeer! I’m as anxious as you are about this whole thing; but don’t you worry, we will get you the best Lawyer in town, and besides we have a reporter with us. Rest assured officer everything is being documented!

     

    TO BE CONTINUED...