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*Cruise Control*

An elderly couple had just purchased a brand-new RV and headed off across the country. The old man explained to his wife that the salesman had showed him how to use the vehicle's "auto-pilot", he said that all he had to do was press the button marked "cruise" and relax. So the old man set his cruise control and went in the back for a nap. He had just gotten comfortable when the RV went off the cliff.

 

*The Deal*

There's a little old lady whose son bought himself a brand new car before being sent to Vietnam. He gets killed and the car sits in her garage covered up for the next twenty years until she finally brings herself to sell it. She places an ad in the local paper selling the car for the same amount her son paid for it, $2000. When a potential buyer shows up to look at it he discovers it is a 1963 Corvette Stingray in mint condition.

 

*No Radio*

A man who was tired of having his vehicles broken into specifically asked for no radio when he bought his new car. He put a sign in the windshield that said in large letters: "NO RADIO". One day he returned to it to find the windshield broken anyway. Beside his sign he found a note that read: "Just checking."

 

*The Rattle*

A man purchased a brand new luxory sedan, loaded with extras and very expensive. The car was perfect except for a persistant, annoying rattle. He took the car back to the dealer and had every part of it checked and tightened, but the rattle continued. Finally he had the car completely dismantled and inside one of the door panels they found the source of the rattle, it was several nuts and bolts tied to a string with a note attached. The note read: "I GUESS YOU FINALLY FOUND THE RATTLE."

 

*The Smashed VW*

A couple had been awakened by the sound of a crash on the edge of their property one night. They looked out and saw two eighteen-wheelers had been in a head on collision and immediately called 911. The policeman told them both drivers had been killed on impact and asked if the trucks could stay there until the investigation was over. The couple agreed. A week later the angry homeowner called the policeman and demanded the wrecks be taken away immediately, when the officer arrived with the tow-truck he understood why. Coming from the crash was to most horrible stench he'd ever encountered. When they pulled the trucks apart they found the cause of the smell, in between the trucks was a VW Beetle, smashed flat with three people inside.

 

*Threading the Needle*

Three young men were out riding their motorcycles and the "daredevil" among them pulled way ahead. Deciding to put a scare into them he turned around and planned on riding right between them with his headlight off. He saw them coming and mustered as much speed as he could as they approached, unfortanately the two headlights he raced between belonged to a large truck.

 

*The Unstealable Car*

A man's biggest fear was that his new sportscar would be stolen and he went to great lengths to insure that didn't happen. Each night he backed the car carefully into the garage, chained the frame to the floor, set the alarm and locked the garage. One morning he entered the garage and was shocked to discover the car was exactly as he always left it, except it had been turned around! On the seat was a note, it read: "WHEN WE WANT IT, WE'LL COME GET IT."

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FatB   

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, *****."

>

loool :D:D:D

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haldhaa   

Originally posted by The Rendezvous...:

Kikuyu Romance

 

Gikuyu: Umekura Nyama Shoma?

kadame: DIO

 

Gikuyu: Si fombe Umekunywa?

kadame: DIO

 

Gikuyu:Na si umekura thambutha tena ya firifiri?

kadame: DIO

 

Gikuyu: BASI RAZIMA SHUMA IRARE DANI !!!!!

 

that's funny yo Umekura Nyama Shoma?

I reallt miss that

IN INGKHO HOTELS

 

PEST MENU

 

Tonut na maantasi 5.00 /=

Homelet Plain 4.50/=

 

Jai na zgonji 5.00/=

Tenku na ukali 6.00/=

 

Jabati Pantika 6.40/=

 

jabati na karanka 15.00/=

 

Gugu ya ingo 50.00/=

Gugu ya genjik 25.00/=

 

Mgade Poflo 6.50/=

 

mapawa ya ingokho(chumusha)10.00 pop

 

mapawa ya ingokho( choma) 15.00 pop

 

IZdrungi kafu 1.50/=

 

Matonto na Mihoko 30.00/=

 

Zamagi ntoko 23.00/=

 

Enchoy your meals

 

bay at te counder

kkkkkkk hahahahahaha :D:D:D

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