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Warrior of Light

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How To Find A Lost Wife

A man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

 

"Why?"

 

"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere

............................................

A Doctor And A Lawyer

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.

 

Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

 

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"

 

"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."

 

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.

 

The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.

 

When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

 

........................................

End Of World

When the End of the World Arrives, How Will the Media Report It?

 

USA Today: WE'RE DEAD

 

The Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS

 

National Enquirer: O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN

 

Playboy: GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE

 

Microsoft Systems Journal: APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE

 

Victoria's Secret Catalog: OUR FINAL SALE

 

Sports Illustrated: GAME OVER

 

Wired: THE LAST NEW THING

 

Rolling Stone: THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR

 

Readers Digest: 'BYE

 

Discover Magazine: HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS?

 

TV Guide: DEATH AND DAMNATION: NIELSON RATINGS SOAR!

 

Lady's Home Journal: LOSE 10 LBS BY JUDGEMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW "ARMAGEDDON" DIET!

 

America Online: SYSTEM TEMPORARILY DOWN. TRY CALLING BACK IN 15 MINUTES.

 

Inc. magazine: TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE

 

Microsoft's Web Site: IF YOU DIDN'T EXPERIENCE THE RAPTURE, DOWNLOAD SOFTWARE PATCH RAPT777.EXE.

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