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mataan

YAA QOSOL RABA...THEN READ THIS

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mataan   

Faarax is 22 years Somali gizza living somewhere in the west. He has recently for a job in restaurant in the city. This following is his actual job application.

 

NAME: I got 2 names: My Real name Farah Warfaa, the one on my passport is abdi mohamed

 

SEX: Yes. Twice a week.

 

DESIRED POSITION: I would love to be the CEO of the company but now anything that will pay for my 2 magin.

DESIRED SALARY: However much you wanna pay me to top up my DSS doll.

 

EDUCATION: Yes and No.

 

LAST POSITION HELD: Senior Muqayil (if u know wat it is).

 

SALARY: I forgot, I think it was something like £3.60 per hour.

 

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: Building Tower blocks when I am high (murqaan) and destroying them in the morning.

 

REASON FOR LEAVING: Suspended due to lateness and chewing on site.

 

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: How many do u have first?

 

PREFERRED HOURS: Anytime after 12Noon, thats when I wake up.

 

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Depends what u mean.

 

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

 

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM

LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

 

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I do but it doesn't run so I would rephrase ur question to: "Do you have a car that runs?"

 

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: yes and no.

 

DO YOU SMOKE?: Smoke what?... Benson yes, weed no.

 

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in Somalia with a fabulously wealthy wife who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

 

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: If I am not, you will not give me the job would you.

 

SIGN HERE: Jama

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