Nefertiti Posted June 21, 2003 How can you tell whether it's love or lust? People speak of “falling” in love as though it is some sort of accident, something that happens to them than some sort of process in which they actively participate. Can people actually define the exact feelings that they experience when “they are in love”? Is it possible to know physically the differences between the two abstract terms such as love and lust? I was seeking some answers and complied the below scenarios as a semblance of an answer. I would like to know what your theories are on this issue, fellow Nomads. Feel free to express yourself in any form and in any way . Q: What is the relationship between love and lust and do we often confuse the two? A:There are different emotional and physiological components to both love and lust. Romantic attraction and feelings of love for someone elevates our dopamine and serotonin levels, which causes feelings of elation and loss of appetite. When we get to the point of feeling attachment and a more long-term phase of love, our bodies generate more oxytocin (known as the "hormone of love"). Lust, sex drive and an appetite for sex can visit during this process and is generated by increased testosterone levels in both men and women. Heightened levels of testosterone inspire a feeling of focused attention and sexual arousal. Q :Is infidelity a natural phenomenon? A: We definitely have the circuitry to be adulterous. There are Darwinian reasons why cheating has evolved. If a man has two children with one woman and more children with another, more of his DNA will be present in the next generation, which includes the genes associated with adultery! It perpetuates itself. Q Who are more adulterous, men or women A:Roughly 25 percent of men and 15 percent of women will be adulterous during marriage. This is really hard to quantify, but it is fairly common in both sexes. What is interesting is that adultery seems to be decreasing. Q: That's surprising, why? A Possibly because both men and women are more independent and can leave an unhappy marriage more easily these days. We also find that men and women are marrying later, divorcing more and living longer, leaving them single for more of their adult lives. They are less adulterous as a result of spending less time married. Q: Do sex and love mean different things to men and women? A: Men are more inclined to have one-night stands, and women tend to connect love and sex to a greater degree. Women connect sex with romance and intimacy, while men focus more on body parts and functioning. What's interesting is that men tend to consider sex a more intimate act than women do. From an evolutionary standpoint, this makes sense because women are actually giving men a gift during copulation — the opportunity to spread his seed. It is also easier for women to find sexual partners. Q:Does age influence sexual interests? A: Young men have 10 times more testosterone in their early 20s, and this is the peak of their sex drive. It tends to level out after that. On the other hand, a woman's sex drive peaks in her late 20s and early 30s. As a result of decreased testosterone as men age, they tend to become more compassionate as their levels go down. Conversely, as a woman's oestrogen levels decreases with age, she will become more assertive. This has to do with the fact that the proportion of testosterone in a woman's system plays a larger role as the oestrogen decreases. Q: What role does attractiveness play in this love/lust equation? . A: There is evidence suggsting that highly attractive couples tend to divorce more — probably because they have more opportunities to form new relationships. In general, we tend to couple with people who have a similar level of attractiveness. We also find that men tend to fall for pretty faces, while women are highly attracted to men that can offer resources. From an evolutionary standpoint, this makes sense because men are looking to improve their gene pool while women are looking for men who will help to support their children. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Faheema. Posted June 21, 2003 Somalis and the subject of “love”. Waa awr iyo nirig teed, ma kala hadhaan. Jacyl Somali way ku dooday, way ka heestay,way ka gabyeen haday doonaan way ku riyoodeen laakiin waxa ku dhaqmaa way yaryahiin. I can assure you every Somali has his/her own definition of “love”. Mine, for instance is that love develops with time e.g. marriage, intaa ka hor waa xiiso iyo niyad. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nefertiti Posted June 21, 2003 Shayma, what you say is true when we are using the concept of love in terms of the Somali community, but these are PSYCHOLOGICAL EXPLANATIONS so therefore they would be out of context when we are discussing Somali relationships in general. Although mind you these days even the nomads are seeking the four letter word within before tying any knots. Which can only be a good thing. ~QoxootiMammi~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sniper80 Posted June 24, 2003 its definetly lust before love because the religion explains taht two people truely get to know each other when they form a house togather and thats when the truely start to love each other. and on the other hand i don't think you should use this approach to look at life in general as the only way of looking at anything is from a quran & sunna. As for the percentages who actually takes these down, and is it among the muslims/kufar :confused: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nomadrebell Posted July 8, 2003 well to me love and lust are two different feeelings...if i see good looking woman with clothes that show her body clearly and the body attracts me; its a physical attraction[lust]; but love u gotta like that woman not only physically but also emotionally:- yu must feel her in a way that i cannot describe ; only lovers can describe; they are attached to each other emotionally personally:- all the way... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
