Salam Aleykum Brothers and sisters. Thank you guys for taking the time out to post your responses. I am sorry that I have not updated you ya'll. I was reading another post which is titled " Married the wrong man". The sister in that posts talks about how much the man whom she married loves her and does every sweet gesture possible. I was saying Masha Allah, just reading it. You see, when I got married, I got married to have family. My husband and I didnt really date. We talked for short period over the phone and ofcourse he told me everything I wanted to hear..lol.
Now are situation has took us further. We dont understand each other at all. I have tried writting to him to understand how I feel and how exhausted I feel.
I have came to the realization, that my husband and I want different things in life. He wants to still enjoy your life. He normally puts spending time with his friends first. Some weekend nights is spent with him going to Shisha spot or coming home late. Ofcourse, I have asked him to stop but he does not want to.
All that don't really matter. What matter is what I have come to realize. I realized we both love our children. I also realized that maybe my husband would be more involved with my kids if we didnt live together anymore. Like make time for them on some weekends, taking them to the park, keeping them over night.
I always wished to be married to a brother, who shows his caring ways, is gentle and actually sees when you are in distress or on in need of help. All men are not the same. I am sure my husband is great man and another woman would probably appriciate him just the way he is. I am not happy in this realationship. I am not looking for Megastar movie love story. All I really wished was for him to be considerate, to watch the kids, while I cook or I am cleaning. To sometimes take the kids to the park instead of always being me. I work full-time and I am full-time mother. Alhamdulilah, being mother has been the best gift Allah bestowed upon me. I am so greatful. Even though when I got married, I got married just to have family, I did started caring deeply for my husband and do love him. With his actions, I cant say the same thing. See, I think men are different, they would stay with a woman they dont love for the sake of their kids, maybe. I would not want that.
Therefore, I have came to the conclusion, while our kids are really small, less than 5 years old, it is best for us to separate. I have been thinking about this for about 9 months now. I want my husband to see to live free and to have the option to be part of his children's life. He can take them any weekend he wishes. Ofcourse, I have not asked him for this yet, but it has been in my mind for quite sometime. I have asked him many times to be more helpful around the home, he does it sometimes by taking the kids to bed...lol...his idea of help.
Anyways, sometimes truth is right in front of us. It is better to let things go instead of living in misery. I know alot of people who told him....just let things be........our mothers have dealt like that too. Well, I am not them. I want a marriage where both people respect each other, care for each other for the Sake of Allah and are kind to each other. I cant give you all and you dont do it the same or atleast try your very best.
Hope to hear from you guys.
Sincerely Sister Saafinuura