nasra2

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Posts posted by nasra2

  1. Posted

    Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 "Winter Olympics", the following are some questions people from all over the world are asking (questions allegedly posted on an International Tourism Website). Enjoy...GO CANADA ;)

     

    Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants

    grow? (UK)

    A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and

    watch them die.

     

    Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)

    A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

     

    Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the

    railroad tracks? (Sweden)

    A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water.

     

    Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)

    A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

     

    Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to

    contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)

    A: Let's not touch this one.

     

    Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a

    list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)

    A: What did your last slave die of?

     

    Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)

    A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.

    Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure,

    the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

     

    Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)

    A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get there and

    we'll send the rest of the directions.

     

    Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)

    A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

     

    Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

    A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which

    is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir! plays every Tuesday

    night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races.

    Come naked.

     

    Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)

    A: No, WE don't stink.

     

    Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can

    you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)

    A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

     

    Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female

    population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

    A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

     

    Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)

    A: Only at Thanksgiving.

     

    Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year

    round? (Germany)

    A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers.

    Milk is illegal.

     

    Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget

    it's name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)

    A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the

    brains of anyone walking close to them. You ! can scare them off by

    spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

     

    Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I

    dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)

    A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

     

    Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

    A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

  3. Posted

    YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2005 when...

     

    1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

     

    2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

     

    3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

     

    4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

     

    5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they

    don't have e-mail addresses.

     

    6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is

    home to help you carry in the groceries.

     

    7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

     

    8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first

    20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn

    around to go and get it.

     

    10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

     

    11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

    smile.gif

     

    12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

     

    13. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

     

    14. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this

    list.

     

    AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

  4. Posted

    you know you are somali when ladies come to work smelling like "CUUD" and they are told others are allergic to it. The funny part is this really happened to a woman I know and she was told to go home and change her clothes and she DID.

     

    This one happened to me. You are you somali when you respond to a client via phone with somali like "haa" instead of "yes" accidently.