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Hibo

Somali men lost their dignity in the West

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OG_MOTI yOU SHOULD LISTEN WHAT COMMANSENSE JUST SAID AIGHT

 

Soul_lady that was even better..

 

oG_MOTI i hate to pick on ya man but you still need somebody to striaght you up.*LOL*

 

That theory of yours should be change to 80% of our beloved men have long way to go so changes will be something should be done as soon as possible cos we running out of patience...

The solution would be if only men should listen what the nomad sisters have to say about their needs there might be a hope for reconciliation...

Believe it or not the majority of women are staying in a marriage that has no meaning and they hate to be devorsed cos that will ruin their degnity kind of i guess cos they both frequatly fighting and where do children stand at that point ofcourse little mini him or which ever way u wanna put it..>>sons will grow up to be like their father cos they always look up to their old man..

Caano geel is what ruins the romantic mood..*LOL* what about orange juice. Lets not concentrate the wrong part of the story there are certain things men should be men about it and things that women take the role so by simply sharing things and if ur women feels bad about you always paying her stuff would it kill ya if u divide things up..i guess it's fair and it will be win win situation...

 

Another important point to keep in mind...we do, infact, have choices and control over our responses often remains much more within our control than we realize at the time

Mainly women don't call the shots when it comes devorse right it's always the brother can't take it or either the sister puts up alot of crap and there that issue raises once more WOMEN ARE USING THE WESTEARN SYSTEM....the more awarness we have of the exsisting alternatives, the more likely our ability to consider the situation in its proper perspective before we take action..

 

Ofcourse women had to adjust another system but stll have theirs as well forexample the sister is watching this romantic film where the husband is saying alot of sweet things about his lady where she craps the tissue near by and snores couple of times..lol and she wishes if her dude was the same.. so there the nomad brother gets home rushing from the cafe and going WHAT DA? HAVEN'T YOU COOKED..AS USUALL WE ARE THE CHEFS..LOL and she goes KANLEE AN NACAY DAMN..Probably that's where the whole thing starts aight...Is that where da brotha says DAMN this west if i only was in somalia i would of torture her..lool

 

 

I hate to be the mean one n' the one leaves a book here but the truth should be unleashed...*LOL*

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Buubto   

Funky^Sista

Thanx macaanto u wlc. sis these days waxey keneen. "aniga waan iska baashaali ciyaalkana awoowgood ayaa John Howard ah". loooool walaahi mindless waaye dadkaan. Aan u soo duceeno raga somaliyeed.

 

OG_monti

u talking about me taking sides how about u?

Deep in my heart I told the truth as it is. Cuz I can’t be “sanduuq” I have to hit the target with the truth. Bro every story has two side to it, believe me u won’t believe what we tell u unless u see it with ur own eyes. Our ppl say “orka hore meesha uu maro ayuu uurka danbena maraa”. These men were role model & leaders of their family, but terribly failed to succeed. Yeah environment change & time change has something to do with this problem, nevertheless they not willing to find solution 4 it.

 

These men refused to attend ESL classes, other courses, community activities, volunteer work, or get a job, they clearly choice to claim welfare by lying & chit chatting on the cafes. What sort of example r they sending to their kids? I can’t express in words wat I see in my eyes daily, where have u seen an educated man who holds degree, diploma, bachelor or Master driving taxi 2 – 3 day per week? Is not cuz they couldn’t get a job by their degrees no not at all, they simply lazy to get up & work fulltime for their family instead choosing their families to leave on welfare that originally came from, taxation, casino & other charity work. So this left pressure to their waves to take action by simply getting job, supporting their kids, helping them with homework, taking them to dugsi & school. While the man they named after wasting his time in the cafes. Women simply did what they had to do “nin tuur leh suduu u seexdo asagaa yaqaan”. He got jealous & said naagtii wey igu kibirtay marka aan keenay dibada. Is that fair?

 

The problem didn’t just stay with these men walaahi it spreading badly. U see a young men in his early twenties have many opportunities in front of him whether he wants to study, get job or etc. but sadly choice to drive taxi like his fellow older Somali men. These young men r exactly doing what the others did drive taxi sometimes & chitchat at the cafes. Look at this aren’t we got corruption in our society or not? Where is nin rag kartidiisa? Walaahi ma faaninaayo hablaha but is the truth markii la soo qaxay iyaga ayaa dad noqday. The number of females who study in higher education sector is extremely higher then the number of Somali men who bother to get education. The number of Somali women who have professional job is absolutely higher then the number of Somali men who has a professional job. If the men failed to lead the family with respect, unfortunately they had to step down. They took their frustrations, anger, shamed & disappointed in themselves on Somali women by saying they being influenced by the westerns.

 

Ilahay Somali ha u soo maciimo walaahi corruption-kii la yaqaanay ayaa ku habsaday. Hadii la sixin these young man that is it “oorka hore meshuu maro ayuu oorka danbana maraa” ayee jiilka kale dhahayaan.

 

 

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"Our Lord! forgive us our sins and anything we may have done that transgressed our duty: establish our feet firmly, and help us against those that resist Faith." (3:147)

 

[This message has been edited by Buubto (edited 05-02-2002).]

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looool@Jonh Howard

Buubto i feel ya gurl what's happening here is way beyond believe.

Indeed we are all corrupted gurl and whatever happen to the Youth in australia?that needs another topic hey....

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Hibo   

Walahi anagaa wax aragnay, Caku ciil badanaa, yaah war ileen tanookale, walahi sisters wey ilbaxeen, buubto iyo funky_sista what is going on girls, marketing baa ila gasheen mid need sheegto iyo mid sheegto volunteer and community services war cusub, sisters it seems to me you get deffensive about the simple truth i stated in here and u start blaming men and so on, and fanky_sista mini me haye ofcourse my kid will defenetly be mini me and will be a photocopy of me or i might blame u or i mean the female if he acts differently, boobto haye John Howard aa walahi sercasim ayaa labilaabay looool .. and what is wrong with driving taxi see when the man works his ass off to provide bread and as you know driving texi is the hardest job on earth but the brothers are willing to keep their family together and u guys still don't like it, so tell me who is the problem, I think the sisters are so much affected with this western desease of independent personality and such hourse shit they put to 3rd worlds'sociaties, and boobto ofcourse we have more somali women in education sector because the system is for women not for men, when the brother wants to study no scholarships or any help from the system but females get everything, they called it girls powers, so i still stick to 80% females fault and 20% male and as you see i am blaming both sides and i am not taking sides so please sisters take a break from the western's fast train and walk slow and look back and look in to the brothers eyes you will see how hard they are trying and at the same time trying hard to keep their dignity which is distroyed by the sistas complitely, one more thing the buubto look in to the % of male among the people who went back to somalia 90% are male and 10% female why? tell me Why? cause the female feels powers and feels she can devorce the man anytime which is against our religion as well, only in Somalia, women and men are treated as they suppose to be treated, men are head of the house and female are the heart of the house, in marketing terms as you prefer boobto and Funky man is the top management the highly risky decision making and woman is middle management making as well decisions ..,. so sistas please stop being hard headed and think about my words with open minded and accept the blame and try to do something about it and maybe this will help "We love you so much and we live for you" walahi ninkii wax yaqaanay waxuu yiri Somali ilbaxay waa dhagax bir noqday .. marka isjilciya and see the matter with open minded and solve the problems.. Somali men are very hard to find and i heard that other nations such as white nation and sudan, and ereteria even ethopians are looking for somali men, don't let them win the deal, keep the brothers and keep in mind the dignity the only thing left for them... smile.gifcwm20.gif peace and love...

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OG_MOTI

LOOOL @ other nations..man is that another threat to slow down the sisters..MAN sudanes aight to be honest each nation will lead you into another culture that will freak you out....I reckon you should remain with the sisters and show some LOVE.as far i can see we fair enough..but there are little things i agree for a change but not all..

I can see the percentage is still remaining the same, well the thing is we ain't taking any sides what we spoke of is the truth and nothing but the truth...so speaking of hard headed, we are not the only ones..to be fair you gotta lose that 80% and say maybe 50%.

 

We feel for the brothers who are taxi drivers and it's part of work what they are dealing with and it ain't shame but what about young men who can benefit from the sysytem and go to school....that was what we were indicating at if u misunderstood..

 

Ofcourse women don't wanna go back to a country that is not stable and God knows how long somalian would except to 4get about clans and shit like that....c'on OG_moti would you go back today and stay a place that u worried about who is gonna attack you..that needs another major debate.....

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Salaama All....

 

 

He said She said...He this She that!...haven't we learn anything? This gender related posts only bring trouble! and no one is perfect Man or Woman we are quick to blame others and avoid the real issues that are present in our communities here in the west and back home.....Oh my...When will we learn??

 

Ma'salaama

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Hibo   

I am always last to arrive in the topics that are hot. Anyways here is my two cents.

 

A friend of mine, whom I greatly admire once said, " Marriage is an interest" Although I disagreed with him at the beginning but now as I examine it closely, I think he is right.

 

Earlier nomads, married each other for different reasons than most of us do. To elaborate I will give u examples.

 

1.Women got married, b/c the men was gonna provide for them n their children.

 

2. Men married women, b/c they needed women to reproduce, especially boys. And they married women b/c they needed someone to cook and clean for them, at the same time satisfy their sexual appetite.

 

However the present day women have changed their view of the world and their ineterst in marriage as well. We can even say, its total opposite to the interests of our mothres n grandmas. For example

 

1. Women marry men, b/c they need someone to satisfy their sexual desires n to reproduce with. And a partner that stands tall with them,an equal not a dominator.

 

2. men marry women, for the same old reasons.

 

The reasons why divorce rate among somalis is increasing is because, women have progressed and r no longer dependent on men for their success in life. This is mainly, b/c of the educational opportunities and the civilization of womenhood. Men failed to adopt to these sudden changes in women's attitude towards marriage and life as a whole.

 

This ordeal can be solved, only if men valued women more than the machine they assumed women were. I am not trying to be a feminist. But to me that is the main reason why divorce rate is so high. It has nothing to do with a man's dignity rather his openness to change and his adoptation skillz. With our civilization and our independency we do deserve to be seen more than sex objects. Its time u have embraced the reality that the new generationof women have nothing in common with your mothers. We know ever man looks for a wife who resembles his mom in behavior and thoughts, and every woman looks for that father figure in a husband. Its time you have opened your eyes and seen the reality that shines so brightly, making it impossible for one with eyes to ignore. So brothas n sisters..don't stand up n create unneccasary gender warfare, rather work together and make spiritual connections.

 

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Each one of us is a masterpiece in progress

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Hibo   

lady fatima you are right sis but accept the reality that women created the problems, and funky sista and hibo, why do i feel a white lady is talking loool man since when a somalian lady treated bad and since when a somalian man marry a lady for sexual purposes or house cleaning and cooking hayaay ala kuwan maxaan bur ladhicilahaa hadaan ag joogi lahaa, war cusub .. any way i conclude my topic that everyone agreed my theory of the increasing devorce of somali families in the west and only in west because of women somali women testing their powers that are misused and forgetting if a good somali man turns his back will never come back, any way dear sisters we will still love you and hope to have u as awife thou Sudanesse is an option since i heard lots of good stuff about them, but Somali queen still come first, looool funky_sita dear sista 79% that is all i give sorry .. and that is being mean to the good men somali men are... Allah bless you all and may Allah return our women to their senses and make them forget the fake uncle tom promises... like the old man said Gaalo **** xumid uun baa laga keenaa... maanta sidii odayaasha baan uhadli iga raali ahaada ciil baa iga keenay .. waryaadahee waan gabyi hadii kale iga dhaafa dhibaatada qirta qaladkiina kuna dhaqaaqa sida loo hagaajinlahaa, gabadhii rabta waano odey iyo wisdom i will be available 24/7 and willing to help the sisters to overcome this problem of loosing good men, i have developed 10 solution during the past few months which might help let me know if u need them .. lots of love sisters smile.gifsmile.gif

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x_quizit   

Funky, i agree with you a 100%.As for the guy who psted this message, all i can say is that it is b.s., and you know it. I disagree with ur notion that there was balance in somalia, what era was that, pls remind me. There was never a balance, women were always doing more work than men, so let's get our facts straight. First of all, if somali men took care of their wives, most women wouldn't complain, but the sad fact is, most would rather "chill" with the boys, even though they are in their late 30's and 40s. They don't understand the meaning of responsibilities, and they should realize that there is more to raising a family than donating one's sperm. Somali women do not abuse the "west system" as you call it, you guys are just afraid that now there are repercusions when one abuses his wife, and there should be. No longer should women be silent and stay in an unhappy marriage just because the man is the provider. If you haven't noticed, these days women have jobs and do not need to dependent on a man, and you "men" hate it because you like the fact that through your financial support,(and some can't even provide that) you can control the women. Somali men need to enter the 21century, realize that the days of the dinausours are long gone. Without equality and respect, a marriage would not survive, and it goes both ways. So if somali men had dignity to begin with, their spouse would have no complaints, because he would be a true muslim who would treat his family as God has dictated, which doesn't coincide with the somali tradition of the woman being a maid, caretaker, caregiver, while the man acts as a "king" and doesn't do much beyond impregnanting his wife. (not all men are like this, but majority who complain are the ones that lost total control of their household, and those are the ones i am addressing).

 

p.s.-what's up with somali men being afraid of educated women? are you guys truly that insecure? that is sad.

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Hibo   

x_quizit Ala maxaad aduun qastay, haye What I am amazed of is none of the somali queens wants to admit, you have asked what era? it has been that way always now and then and will be forever, my mother never complain your mother never complain everyones' mothers never complain they had much respect for their husbands and the husbands did the same in return, the problem is the brain washed sistas in the west and i am not poiting fingers i am just saying it is time the sistas to realize the importance of having a father in the house and forget this west stupid idea that a single mother can raise the child alone and that child will be healthy, we all know psychos and criminals are big numbers in the west and the reason is those people grow in a house where there is no father to tell them what is life about and give them balance life, no offense for the mothers but mothers are emotional and they do not get hard of the kids what it is need to do so. CAKU CIILBADANAA .. tan baaba ugu daran oo war cusub keentay .. hayaay dagaal baaba bilaawday, the issue is simple sistas talk to your mothers and they will tell you what i told you, peace and by the way tell me how many of you still remember how to cook canjeero and soor my guess none loool peace

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x_quizit   

lol, og_moti, u crack me up with your simple mind. I wish everything was as black and white as you claim it is, but life has many shades of gray that you seem unaware of. I can't believe u thought every couple was happy, they pretended, because our society frowns upon divorce or "drama". So get with the program bro, and start living in the real world. When did a woman's worth equate with her ability to cook? if all u wanted was a housekeeper, work hard and u too can afford a live in maid. If you want a wife however, it's a family effort what goes on on the household. As for kids growing up fatherless, there are many couples who are together, yet the father hardly spends time with his kids, but if a couple divorces, he can still see his kids. Just because a couple is together, doesn't mean it's the best thing for the child. I have a feeling though, that i am wasting my time trying to educate you, because you are so intent and immersed with ignorance. Have fun in your delusional world.

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x_quizit   

lol, og_moti, u crack me up with your simple mind. I wish everything was as black and white as you claim it is, but life has many shades of gray that you seem unaware of. I can't believe u thought every couple was happy, they pretended, because our society frowns upon divorce or "drama". So get with the program bro, and start living in the real world. When did a woman's worth equate with her ability to cook? if all u wanted was a housekeeper, work hard and u too can afford a live in maid. If you want a wife however, it's a family effort what goes on on the household. As for kids growing up fatherless, there are many couples who are together, yet the father hardly spends time with his kids, but if a couple divorces, he can still see his kids. Just because a couple is together, doesn't mean it's the best thing for the child. I have a feeling though, that i am wasting my time trying to educate you, because you are so intent and immersed with ignorance. Have fun in your delusional world.

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Buubto   

I agree with Ladyfatima this topic will only make things worse is obvious that somalis hasn’t learned how to digest the truth yet & admit their mistakes. Walaahi is just heartbreaking to see after a decade we still haven’t changed yet. Why can’t we just ignore what is around us & simply fellow the book of Allah & his rules. In that way we would have being blessed nation. But since we keep on disobeying Allah nacalad un ayaa nagu sii dhici & we never improve.

 

OG_Monti

Bro walaahi I don’t know what to say is crystal clear to me that u don’t want to find the roots of this problem. When we stated the facts u blind self & blamed us. I Forgot that u inherited typical Somali characteristic “dictatorship”. Lol. No hard feeling lol ok mr C.A. I do disagree with u 100%, but I won’t bother to dabate I rather safe my 2 cents cuz I know u will only deny it. u want in aad kal iyo booyo hablaha madaxa ugu garaacdo eysan juuqdhihin right? Lol that is joke ok lol peace.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~let’s make dua’aa 4 our ppl in uu ilahay qalbigooda isku soo duwo, oo ey noqdaan kuwo xaqa ku taagan ceebtooda ilahaay u astura. Balana ka xijaabo qaladkoodana tusa, dariikha saxda ahna ku hadeeyo (Amin). Salad waliba aad tukataan u soo duceeya dadkiin cuz walaahi nacalad ayaa nagu dhacday. Only prayer & duca will safe us. So let us do that & stop blaming one another cuz we will never reach solution. Peace.

 

 

------------------

"Our Lord! forgive us our sins and anything we may have done that transgressed our duty: establish our feet firmly, and help us against those that resist Faith." (3:147)

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Hibo   

x_quizit loool ala maxaan jeclaanlahaa inaan bur kula dhaco, but you are my sista who seems to be nice inside aside of showing how touch you could be so burka hanoo danbeeyo, sis why are u getting personal, i would love you to educate me and beleive me it will not be wasting your time, it will be productive, i am might be living in delusional world so instead of helping the brother to comeout of that delusinal you are making fun of him and see that total ignorance from your side, isjilci aan kuu duceeyee,

and sista the father being there and the kid knowing his father and him/her live under the same roof makes her/him feel secure i think as a lady living in the west where self interest comes first would have a hard time to understand that.. but i still have hopes you will understand one day and read between the lines and say oh my god he is right i should change... one day it will happen i have hopes on you ...

Buubto dhiblooy you spelled my name wrong it made me sad but afterwards when i read ur kind words it made me feel better a bit, and since when i blamed you .. i was just stating a fact a sad fact and if you took it as a blame sorry but i also have hopes on you that you will keep praying for our sisters to realize the roots of the problem and change themselves, and my heart is bleading with sorrow and hope for a better future for somali people but the problem remains the sisters thinking the uncle tom dream will set them free instead of taking the advice of uncle faarax who all his intentions is to keep the families together and go back to canjeero time by the way sis x_quizit food and house maid is last thing we think of as a somalian men we always choose the women to help us raise a better future generation, lots of love and rabshada nagadaaya hadiikale bur baa meesha iman, lots of love and i think reading through all those different topics some sisters are understanding the true fact of this western fake and corrupt and misleading dream of freedom .. god bless xaliimo iyo ow cumer the original somalian couples example, peace and love to all Nomads i shall say somalian nomads ...

 

 

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X_quizit Go gurl, the bother obvoiusly needs to touch his feminen side.*LOL*

OG_moti walee adaa ubahan wax bur iyo basbas kuladhaca..lol

Ofcourse our mothers are happy cos they have great men who knows what women is all about unlike what our generation have to deal with nowdays..lool.people like you og_moti make women to be NUNS..LOL

 

Adios

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