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Castro

I Love The Idea Of My Wife

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Castro   

Do I love my wife? It's a complicated question. What is love? Perhaps it is an ineffable aspect of the human condition that can never be fully understood. It's like asking if I love my car or my golf clubs. I love them, but it's not like I love them. I certainly love owning them, and if either should ever be stolen, or somehow ruined, or damaged by someone's incompetence, I'd want to replace them immediately, and press full charges against the perpetrators.

 

I love the stability of my wife. I like knowing that she's there, sort of like how you feel about a good life-insurance policy or new luxury storm windows in the den. It's like having the high-end weed-whacker in the garage. It's good to see it and know it's there, even if I don't use it more than twice a year. My wife is like that. I love that about her.

 

It's reassuring to have the whole "wife" aspect of my lifestyle taken care of and done with, and know that it's not going to be disrupted. So in that sense, yes, I love her, but I suppose you could say I love the idea of her, as a concept, mainly, more than her specifically. But it's a good question, to be sure. It makes you think.

 

I enjoy life. You might even say I love it. And since my wife, or the idea of my wife, anyway, is part of that life, that's not going to change.

 

On the one hand, of course I love her. Don't get me wrong—we're talking about my wife. This is the mother of my children, the woman I plan to grow old with, the woman for whom I purchased a fine and beautiful home. But then again, if she happened to be some other, similar woman, it probably wouldn't be that much different. We'd still live in the same type of neighborhood, own the same cars, and have the same children. Well, they'd be genetically different children by 50 percent, but they'd probably serve basically the same function in my life.

 

She'd probably spend about the same amount of my income on largely the same things, and I assume we'd still attend the same parties and go to the same country club. I suppose it's possible we might have different hobbies. But we'd have the same holidays, certainly. I know we'd have the same attorney. She'd definitely have the same hair.

 

It's an eternal question, this mystery of "What is love, after all?" I can say this much: I can't imagine being without her, or someone like her. She's the person I've shared my life with. I'd really hate to lose her in some sort of a hypothetical divorce or unexpected-death scenario. That would be a living nightmare to deal with. If that counts as love, then yes, I love my wife very deeply.

 

I've been with my wife for more than 20 years. That's a lot of time to put into a long-term investment.

 

I've grown used to her. I'm comfortable with her. Frankly, I'd be lost without her. But I guess I'd feel that way about pretty much anybody who was from the same age group, economic tier, and level of education, and who I happened to marry 20-odd years ago, back when it was time to acquire a wife.

 

If she died, would I miss her? Certainly. Do I appreciate her presence in my home? Without a doubt. Is she the most important person in my life? In a way. But if she were to somehow magically disappear and be replaced one day by a near-duplicate, would that matter all that much to me? I'd have to say no.

 

Source

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Katrina   

What has valentine day amongst SOL'ers done to you?? This sappiness is killing me. Frankly atheer, I'm worried. :(

Insha'allah this day will pass and everything will be back to normal tomorrow. Kudos to whoever starts the first verbal attack tomorrow.

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hodman   

I don't know ...I sure wouldn't appreciate that opinion from my husband.I would like to think that am unique and that there can be only me for him not that any old xalimo woulda been just as good

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Miriam1   

I guess they lied then, Those who said. "I am in love with the way she smiles, drinks her coffee, gets worried about how she forgot to give a toonie to the beggar down the street today....."

Interesting writup, but sadely enough this guy has not experience true love, its so mechanical, he loves her as a possession he cannot obiviously live without and has grown comfortable with, but not a unique individual.

 

I wonder if most marriages are like this?

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Originally posted by Jawahiir:

I wonder if most marriages are like this?

Since I'm in buoyant mood tonight, I'll share with you one of the life-affirming truths about marriages I've learned in my long and illustrious life. I'm 65 years young. And no I don't use nappies yet, thank you very much.

 

Actually I didn't 'learn' it per se but rather was ceremoniously hand it down by my grandfather -- the great Mufti Maguufti of Beydhabo. Every male in our family knows it by heart, religiosly lives by it and I'm happy to tell you not with a mite less than a 100% success. We had to swear by it in an unforgetable ritual to the pulsating syncopation of drums, engulfing smoke accompanied by rapturously enthralling hums and brought to a dazzling conclusion with event straight out of Hollywood: marking our TEETH PRINTS on bones.

 

Are you ready for it? Ok, here it comes:

 

MARRIAGE IS NOTHING MORE THAN FOUR NAKED LEGS IN BED!!!

 

 

Please read the above as many times as you have to but DON'T stop reading it under any circumstances till you grasp the profoundly inspiring meaning behind it. If you decipher it, a whole new world regarding marriages opens up for you. May Allah be with you. Salaam.

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I don't you can love someone that is not in your family I do believe you can let them in your heart but not love them, as love is something that takes a long time to achieve....

 

 

But .....

Ain't nobody ever prove their love when

Things were all good

And two people are smiling

Love is found way down in the trenches

When he's throwin a fit

And she is sittin there crying

We tear it up

To patch it up

Break up

To make up

The show goes round and round

And that how we get down

We go back and forth

And anyone who goes through this should know

That what i am saying is for real

Real love is meant this way

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Castro, she sounds lovely. Would mind lending her to me for a few weeks, you know on a 'try before you buy' type of basis. I think it will really enable us 'lost in singledom's' to see what we are missing out on. Thank you atheer, you really are very kind and generous.

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Arawella   

Castro

A wise person said “love is a verb, it is something that you do, such as the sacrifices you make, the giving of self. Love is a value that is actualised through loving actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values while reactive people make it a feeling. We are not a product of our feelingsâ€.

 

How true is the above and ironic that many people wonder why their relationship is ebbing or different to how it used at the beginning.

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NGONGE   

You do realise that this article is from THE ONION.com and is not Castro’s personal opinion about his current/to be wife, don’t you people?

 

A wife is like a favourite old t-shirt. The more you wear it and the more the years pass, the more holes it develops and the more you start thinking of ‘buying’ a new t-shirt. But you could never bring yourself to do it, because, you love that old t-shirt of yours and no new t-shirt could ever fit in as snugly or comfortably.

 

On a side (but trivial) note, I’ve never met a man who allowed his wife to get rid of his favourite t-shirt (the one you do the painting, gardening and other stuff in).

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Castro   

^ Yes, though I didn't write the piece (not even providing the source is enough nowadays :D ) I do share the author's sentiment. LaVie got it right. Love changes to either grow and flourish or diminish and die. Never, though, is it the same as the first time. When I read this to my wife last night, she "liked" it all the way to the last line then said: "what's that supposed to mean?". It was past 11:00 pm and way too late to explain anything.

 

That old favorite t-shirt analogy, though seemingly crass, is quite accurate indeed. And if each year counts as a hole in the shirt, I now have 10. :D

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Blessed   

Castro n Ngonge,

 

Old t-shirts, huh? With holes waliba, how indearing :eek: :mad: *wonders in her farax thinks of her as such*

 

Don't get me wrong, I do like the sentiments of the article (except the last line, was that to annoy his wife tolow?) . Strangely enough, my favorite love poem is Carol Ann Duffs "onion for my valentine" and song Samatars ‘Siraad’ which both express a realist view of love. I don’t like the mushy, fresh breakfast at 5a.m stuff… redface.gif

 

something's missing here though...why did he (you) end up with that particulare woman.. t-shirt?

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Katrina   

In all honesty did y'all read the whole article? The title ruined it for me not to mention its insulting. He didn't say 'I love my wife' but the idea of my wife. The cheap bastad is looking for a free ride and you guys bought into that sappiness, suckers!

 

Nobody with a gram of brain matter would think Castro wrote the article. Atheer's ADD would get in the way.

 

Legend let it swell. I changed my name back for you. *blushing* The reality, I decided to chng it back coz I suddenly remembered the name has negative connotions about this guy I knew and whoosh I'm back to being Katrina.

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