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An Invitation To Somaliaonline Party.

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The party is at full swing now and everybody is having a great time except one guy who was sitting all by himself and he seemed to be sulking more than anything else, now, being the friendly guy that I am I have decided to go and talk to that brother and find out what was his problem and maybe do something to make him smile or feel good.


"Salam Alaikom" I say to him.


"W/Salam" he replies quietly.


"I am IL CAPO" I say


"Hey, IL CAPO, I am Tahliil" he replies.


"Hey, nice to meet you Sxb" I say.


"Yeah, me too Sxb, so when did you come here and how did you get here?" he asks.


"I walked from Garissa all the way to here and I left home early last year and I got here just few hours ago" I tell him.


"Oh, Really? Man, you are one brave guy, so did you see any lions, elephants and rhinos along the way"he asks with a big grin.


"My Man, Sorry, look there is no one on earth who can walk from Africa to over here, I thought you knew that" I tell him feeling guilty that I lied to him in the first place.


"Oh, Ok, I didn't know that, but thanks for telling me that Sxb, i appreciate it" he says.


"Sxb, why are you sitting alone, what's the matter and why are you grieving"? I ask.


"Sxb, I am not grieving per say but I don't feel like mixing with the rest of the people as I am enjoying this quite and private moment with myself" he says,"but don't get me wrong, I am enjoying your company" he continues.


"That is great then." I say.


"So tell me, are you having a great time" he asks.


"Yeah, I am, in fact who wouldn't? With all these drop dead gorgeous girls around with loads of opportunities to interact any one or a couple that you Fancy, Man, let me tell you this is exactly what every red blooded male considers HEAVEN Sxb" I say with excitement.


"Well, I am not here for girls Sxb, don't get me wrong I like girls but I am scared to get close to them since my heart has been battered and bruised and finally broken and shattered into a million pieces like a broken glass by the only girl that I have ever loved truly" he says.


"Oh, that is so Sad Sxb" I say with genuine sympathy.


"Well, I guess it was meant to be that way" he says.


"Sxb, I admire the way you are being philosophical about it but let me tell you one thing, no one deserves to be played and broken and I promise you she will pay for it as what goes around comes around, so she will fall into another guy's trap and he will play her like she was PS2, that much I can guarantee you" isay firmly.


"I appreciate your support Sxb" he says.


"I guess, you would have done the same thing for me had I been in your position, right?" I ask.


"Yeah, no doubt, but you know what hurts me most?" he asks.


"Please, tell me" I say.


"Love has never been sweet and kind, it destroyed my soul and raped my mind, I believed in a dream that I couldn't find, sorrow and misery is all that I have time for, all I ever wanted was for her to be mine, keep her wearing that pretty smile and make all her dreams come true, I would give up my own life for her, only if I could make her believe me, what can I possibly say or do to make her realize that I LOVE HER more than any other man dead or alive can and will ever love her" he says with tears rolling down on his cheeks.


"Waaw, Sxb that was the most honest and painful words I have ever heard, and I wish there were something that I could do to help ease your sorrow and pain"I say feeling sad.


"I mean, can you believe her? She dumped me just because I am too sweet" can you really believe that?" he asks angrily.


"That is ridiculous Sxb, most girls I know would kill to be in her position where they enjoy the unconditional love that you are offering" I say.


"She promised and even swore in the name of Allah (S.W) that she will never hurt me yet she walked out on me and today she is with another dumb mother sucker" he says.


"Like, I said Sxb, she is going to regret it for the rest of her life as she will never ever find a man who will love her as much as you do and I am sure you will find a pious Sister who will turn your sorrow and frown into a Smile and laughter" I say.


"Thanks Sxb, Sorry, I didn't mean to get carried away like that, I shouldn't discourage you from love like that" he says.


"No No, it is Ok Sxb, I don't know what the future has in store for me but in the mean time let me enjoy being in love while I still can and I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope you will find the right sister" I say and with that I give him pat on the back and say my Salams and move on feeling drained.


"I need a Warikow tea" i say to myself.


"Where is Wiilo, she is the only one who can make a Warikow tea for both of us"


"Wiilo, Wiilo, Wiilo" i scream and i can see some of the girls are staring at me up and down like if they were saying "Who is this Reer Baadiye screaming and making all this noise, how did he get past the security and who the hell invited him in anway"


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"Hey, easy on my ears man" says one girl.


"Excuse me?" I say.


"Lower your voice man, why are you screaming" she asks angrily.


"What is your problem Miss Thang?" I ask.


"You are my problem, making my ears hurt with your loud screams" she says.


Now this girl is losing her temper and I am almost close to bursting into laughter because this girl is wearing golden Jewellery from head to toe and I have never seen anybody wearing that much gold.


"Ok, my sister, I apologise, by the way I am IL CAPO" I say.


"Oooh, Sorry, I am Golden-Girl" she says.


"A name has never been more appropriate to any one before, she is living it up to her name"I say to myself.


"So how are you doing?" I ask.


"Before you frightened me with your loud screams I was having a great time" she says.


"Oh, I am sorry, I didn't mean to, you know I am feeling bit drained and exhausted so I need a cup of tea to calm my nerves down" I say.


"Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk" she laughs.


"Did I say something wrong" I ask.


"No No No, it is just that you reminded me of my Awoowe, he loves his tea and it is just that I have never seen a young man addicted to tea as much as you are" she says.


"Oh, Ok, I can't imagine being without a tea" I tell her.


"Ok, good luck then" she says.


I move on with my Qeylada but this time I am careful and I don't scream as much as I did before, so I come across another girl who is showing another girls how to move to beat that was playing in the back ground and ask them...


"Excuse me ladies, sorry to bother you, but have you seen Wiilo please"? I ask.


"Who wants to know" asks the ceographer.


"IL CAPO" I say.


"Waryaa, IL CAPO, how are you Marax?" she yells.


"As you can see I am in one piece" I tell her.


"Waryaa, I am Foxy, remember?" she says with big grin on her face.


"Foxy Brown, the Rapper?" I ask.


"No No, Marax, I am Dawoco" she says.


"Oooh, Sorry, how are you doing Ms Foxy?" I ask.


"As you can see I am blazing" she replies.


"Blazing, what?" I ask.


"No No, it means, I am fine" she says.


"Oh, Ok," I says with a nod.


"So how are you doing and how is everything back home?" she asks.


"Oh, everything is Grand, thanks for asking" I reply.


"Come let me introduce you to my Homegirls" she says.


"IL CAPO, meet Hasna and Chocolaat" says Ms Foxy.


"Salam, ladies, how are you doing" I say.


"Great, how are you doing" they ask.


"Apart from being in desperate need for my cup of Warikow tea, I am doing fine" I tell them.


"Why don't you have a Chocolate milk rather than a tea" asks Chocolaat.


"I don't drink milk as I am not a baby and me and Chocolates don't mix" I say.


"How about a glass of cold juice then?" suggests Hasna.


"I had enough of that, I need a tea now, but thanks anyway" I say.


"Ok, IL CAPO, it was nice to meet you, Wiilo is in that room" says Ms Foxy.


"Nice to meet you too Ladies" I say and with that I move on.


Just as I turn around and start walking away I hear them giggling and chuckling, now being the self conscious man that I am, slowly I lower my left hand to my rear end and feel at the back of my pants just to feel if there is a hole in my pants or I accidentally sat on something unpleasant and when I make sure that my pants are still in good shape and there is no crack or holes at the back or any dirt then I relax and pretend like some one who is brushing some dirt off from his pants and I continue to walk away feeling much better and start to whistle my way out of their view.



"Look where you going Man" she says.


"Oh, Sorry Abaayo" I plead.


"Yeah, whatever, just remember I know about that trick" she says.


"What trick are you talking about?" I ask.


"Never mind, but that is not the way to hit on a girl" she says.


"Excuse me, I never hit girls and I don't think I had any intention to hit you my Sister, Come On, why would I want to hit you?" I say innocently.


"Yeah, whatever, but I don't buy it" she says.


"Come On, believe me, I have never ever fought with a girl in my entire life and I have no intention whatsoever to start now, the only time I get physical with a girl is when I am playing hide and seek with my Malaika wife" I tell her.


"You are a one big country" she says.


"No No, I am a human, how can I ever be a country?" I ask.


"Waryaa, I meant you are Reer Baadiye" she says.


"I am from a city called Garissa, which has the best climate in the whole world, some of the best beaches in the world and a river where I go for a canoeing every weekend" I boast.


"Man, don't tell me you are IL CAPO" she says.


"Ok, I wont tell you then" I say.


"No No, I mean are you IL CAPO?" she ask.


"Yeah, how did you know that?" I ask.


"Man, you are the only person in the whole world that forces people to acknowledge the beauty of his city even when they don't know where on earth it is located, by the way I am Diamante" she says.


"Oh, sorry to say this but I swear I thought you were a Senegalese because the only few Diamantes that I have met were all from Senegal" I say.


"As you can see I am as Somali as they get and Diamante is just a nick" she says.


"Ok, now I know."I assure her.



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LooooooooooooooL@surweelka in uu duleelo..loooooooool..sxb that was very baa iga timi..because is so true.specialy when you poor and you are broke, shyt like that is not to be messd'


waraa I like how you connected Tahliil's story with the argument happening at Caveman's thread at Women's allah you have tallent sxb..


wareer badanaa!!!

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ala anukaaaaaaaaaaaaaayeeeeeeeeeeeee

ala manooli, feeraha, garbaha, muxuga, waa fuurey!


ilcapo, i object the link with moti, iga daa duqaas, waa ku sideee smile.gif

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"Oh, sorry to say this but I swear I thought you were a Senegalese because the only few Diamantes that I have met were all from Senegal" I say. dare u say that!...bas waaye..i wont read this my name get dragged thru the mud like that. u know how long it took me to come up with it, and now i watch how it gets destroyed in a sec.


exits crying vehemently

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Originally posted by IL CAPO:

I relax and pretend like some one who is brushing some dirt off from his pants and I continue to walk away feeling much better and start to whistle my way out of their view.

Very smooth. :D

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il capo marax yohoow choreographer maxaad ka wadaa? artistic dancer aa laguu qaatay now u made me sound common, amaad choreographer wax kale lee ka wadaa :D just joking!



Nice story, all seven pages of it(!) i'm just confused, is it in london or america, or bahrain or where?! :confused: so many countries get mentioned, its like bleedin un.


Still, i enjoyed it, tho u biggin urself up too much ;)

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I think my bro

il capo is experiencing writer's Block!!




Ilcapo pace up and down the room while you seriously think of what to write next


Find yourself a punch bag ( a live one is prefered) to punch every so often when you find your mind blank of any inspiration


Finally if all fails just go back to Garissa and say "HALLA!,Ar Laa waa qori waaye uun soo ma aha!"

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Ilcapo, I can't appreciate enough for the mere fact that u did not put me in the company of women beaters, bullies, taxidrivers, pretenders, tribe defenders, nation bashin groups, all those junkies u have so neatly woven into Ilcapo's fantasy tale of a party that I have so many times rejected to attend. Why? Because, as u said, I was mendin and healin this broken, shattered, dumped, sliced, lonely heart of mine.. Still sulkin by the way

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^^"No, No,his name is Caveman, but the guy sounds like an 80 year old, some one from the past so i heard girls call him Tora Bora" explains Qaac.

"No, I can't beat him, he is and old guy with 14 pairs of twins and I heard his wife left him so now he is raising money to go back to Somalia to get married to an innocent girl whom he wants to baby sit all his 28 kids" replies Qac^^


looooooooolz…sxb intaan Tora Bora ku jiray sheekadu idhaaftay…lolz



Sujui kaa dhibbadan lama sheegin…sxb laakin if I could count how many times u said “Garisaa†its over 100. waraa u want the Movie or the Book to be based in Garissa?, NO way….taas dagaal aan ka xigaa.


sxb Garissa labo mar baan tagay….lets just say, Gabdho Biibitooyin shaah ku gato oo faynuus u shidantahay iyo guys toosh wato oo Ganja afka ugu jirto aa meeshaas ka buuxo..lolz,,, laakiin I can’t hate u 4 that nin home-townkiisa jecel baatahay..

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