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IL CAPO

An Invitation To Somaliaonline Party.

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IL CAPO   

After few minutes of mayhem order is finally been restored after they escorted Lander out of the party premises and everybody returned to what they were doing before they were cruelly disrupted by a guy hitting a girl on the head with a bottle..

 

"Let me introduce you to some of the girls that I roll with" Raula says.

 

"Roll? What do you mean by that? I didn't know people rolled" I argue.

 

Raula, sensing that her slang is bit too much for me calms me down by saying.

 

"Ohh, Sorry, I meant the girls that I am friendly with"

 

"Now that I can understand"I say with a delight.

 

"This is MOMBASA-Queen our own Coast pride, this is SisSade, our own Kiambu Pride and last but not least this is my mlendo twin Wiilo"

 

"Apart from SisSade I met the other two, but it wont hurt meeting them once again, so how are you doing Ladies?"i say.

 

"We are bored because no one has asked us to dance and I am itching to show my latest dance moves" says Mombasa-Queen.

 

"Ooh, Don't worry, I am sure some one will ask you for a dance before the night is over" and with that I make an excuse to go and take a leak.

 

When I get there it is already being occupied so I decide to bide my time until I get a chance.

After a while a guy comes out and let me tell you, if fashion police got hold of that guy I am sure they would have sentenced him to life without a parole, in other words this guy made Andre 3000 from Outkast and the Black Eyed Peas look fashion guru.

 

Anyway I take few steps forward towards the Choo and suddenly the foulest smell that I have ever had the misfortune of inhaling hits me and I struggle to breathe, I am sure if there was a pregnant lady she would have had a miscarriage right there and then because of the smell and not wanting to be caught standing there I had to run away and bail out because you know how embarrassing things like that can be so I sneaked out just like the fellow who dropped this atomic bomb.

 

I came out red faced and fortunately I saw a guy and two girls smiling at me and waving at me and I immediately went over to them and the guy stood up and shook my hand and said..

 

"Hey IL CAPO, how are you doing buddy, great to see you, I am DeadlyVision and these are Ms Word and Last-Princess" he says.

 

"Oooh, how are you all doing? I was looking forward to seeing you guys because I believe we have something in common" I reply.

 

"Yeah, that is true" they all agree.

 

"By the way Ms Word, you look different in real life, I don't know. Back in SOL you look somewhat like Alicia Keys" I say innocently.

 

"Ooh, the reason my Avatar looks like Alicia Keys is because it is Alicia Keys's pic and not mine" says Ms Word.

 

"Ohh, you almost fooled me there" I say feeling embarrassed.

 

"I didn't intend to IL CAPO" she replies.

 

"So how do you like it here" asks Last-Princess.

 

"I like the free drinks and snacks" I reply.

 

"Actually I was referring to the country not the food" says Last-Princess.

 

"Oooh, well, if you are asking me would I like to remain in this country my answer is simple and it is NO because I love Africa and besides my Malaika lives there" I say.

 

"Oh, Ok."says Last Princess.

 

"By the way IL CAPO, we wanted to discuss something with you" says DeadlyVision.

 

"Oh yeah? and what is that?" I ask.

 

"As you know we are the minority here, a dying breed if you will, so I think we should come together and stick together and look out for each other, you know what am saying IL CAPO" says Deadly Vision.

 

"Yeah, I think so" and then I turn to Ms Word and say to her.

 

"Nice pants Ms Word"

 

"Thanks, it is from Vogue"she says.

 

"Mine is from the Native" I reply.

 

"Who is that? I never heard a designer named Native" she says.

 

"Because he is my favourite tailor back in Garissa" I answer.

 

"Oh, I thought you were talking about an international designer" she says.

 

I notice my glass is empty now so I excuse myself and I go to get another glass of pineapple juice when I see the same guy that toxicated the air and I ask my buddy Mojam who that is and he says.

 

"Oh, that is Salafi-Online, why do you ask?" he asks.

 

"No, no big deal really,"I reply.

 

"He is busy chatting up Jalaqsan and she seems smitten by him, don't you think so?" he asks.

 

"is that Jalaqsan?Yeah,I think the two of them make a nice couple don't you think so?"I ask.

 

"I couldn't have agreed more" says Mojam.

 

And after that I decide to go to the balcony and get a fresh air when suddenly I hear a strange language coming from the balcony and I decide to go and have a look at it.

Stay Tuned.

Peace.

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Tuujiye   

Waraa ilcapo. Salafi Online waa shiikh weyn nin yahoo..saas ha u galin yaaqee..First musqusha uu qarxiyey aa dhahday oo zonatul miinaato uu ka dhigay aka SUUUUJIMO, and now jalaqsan uu shukaansanaye oo shanxadiis ku aqrinaye aa dhahee..waraa shiikha sida u dhaan nooh shiikh sheydaan ma ahee..

 

wareer badanaa!!!

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IL CAPO   

I see two girls standing at the balcony, they are covered from head to toe with black Jalabeeb and one of them seemed to be encouraging the other with some words that I have never ever head before but they sound like this "Ya Tacban, ya ghurab, ya xabeeb, ya baqeel, ya dig dam, ya qarboosh, ya faras, ya xuux and ya dacas, ya dixiin" now I have never ever heard such language so I didn't know what to make of it.

 

I introduce myself when I say..

 

"Salam, Ladies, I am IL CAPO"

 

"Allah, waryaa we are OG_Girl and Classique" says one of them.

 

"So, would you mind telling who's who here" I ask.

 

"I am OG_Girl and this is Classique" says OG_Girl.

 

"Hi, Classique, nice to meet you ladies, so why are you alone in this room, you should socialize and meet the rest of the Nomads" I say.

 

"We met everybody already and you are the last person to arrive and now we can say we met each and every member is SOL" says OG_Girl.

 

"So IL CAPO, tell me, how was your flight and how long did it take you to get here" asks Clasiqque.

 

"It took me 14 hours to get here and the flight was terrible, what about yours" I ask.

 

"Oh, we came with our own jet so it took us only 4 hours and the flight was fun" boasts OG_Girl.

 

"Only 4 hours? So would you please give me a lift after the party?" I ask.

 

"We can't, because you are a man dee and we can't travel with a man" replies OG_Girl.

 

"Waryaa, I am your cousin, what do you mean you are a man? i mean i am a man yes but i am your cousin?" I say angrily.

 

"We will give you a lift on one condition" she says.

 

"And what is that?" I ask nervously.

 

"You give me the 5 liters of the fresh camel milk that you promised me and I will take you to Kismayo and from there to catch another lift to Garissa, deal?" she says.

 

"I will think about it," I say.

 

"By the way where is your wife and your kids?" asks Classique.

 

"They are all back in Garissa, speaking of which, I just wanted to call them and see how they are holding up" I say.

 

"So what do you do for a living" asks OG_Girl.

 

"I do what I can" I reply.

 

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asks.

 

"It means what it means" I reply.

 

 

Ok, ladies it was nice meeting you and remember I am serious about the lift back to Garissa ok?

Just as I was about to leave OG_Girl smacks the smile out of my face and she says..

 

"I always wanted to do that because you told me not to come with any jewelry or somebody will snatch them away, by the way I only came with my Parada bag and no one even looked at it so that tells me you are a liar but guess what? You are not a good liar Sijui Boy" she says.

 

"Adeero said that i should keep an eye on you but now you are getting on my nerve by hitting me in front of everybody" i said.

 

Feeling dizzy and half blinded, I slowly make my way out of their room and back to sitting room when I see Juxa standing at the corner busy writing a text message to an unknown destination.

 

"Juxa, you are the person I wanted to see" I say.

 

"What is wrong IL CAPO, is everything alright" she asks.

 

"Yeah, but I want to ask you a favour please?"I say.

 

"What is the favour about?"

 

"You know, just before we came to this party, my Uncle MOTI came to visit us and he slept in my bed while I slept on the floor, so he was talking in his sleep and I heard him mention your name more than few times and he was saying things that I have never ever heard him mentioning" I say to her.

 

"and what is that he was saying and what did he say about me?"asks Juxaa.

 

"Believe it or not but he was reciting a poem, a love poem that he said he wrote it for you" i say.

 

"What? MOTI, wrote a peom for me, you must be kidding me" says Juxaa.

 

"No, i am not believe me, he even went as far as saying that he always had a soft spot for you" i tell her.

 

"So now what do you want me to do" she asks nervously but she is blushing now.

 

"You see how lonely he is by sitting there all by himself, it would mean the world to me and to him if you went over and keep him company because you know how old fashioned my Uncle is, he is shy but trust me he will enjoy every second of your company" i say.

 

Stay Tuned.

Peace.

 

P.S Adeer MOTI, you know i got nothing but LOVE for you and i promise you, that i will make your dream come true, trust your nephew. ;)

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Tuujiye   

Qarxis.com.............waraa ilcapo caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadi ma tihid saaaaaaaaaaxiiiib...

 

Class iyo OG-Girl alqaaida aa ka dhigtay yaahh...af carabiga ee ku hadlaayeen aan ka baqay..lol..hahahahahaha..that was funny...

 

adeer OG-moti Juxa wee kaa yartahay amee kugu suuxdaa!!!!!loooooooool

 

wareer badanaa!!!

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IL CAPO   

waraa G/Tuujiye, wait bal aan adeerkeey iyo Nuune soo salaamee oo Nuune inaan isagana meeleeyo uu iiga baahanyahay laakiin yaa dookhiisa yaqaan ee odeygaan iska niikinaayo 24hrs marka sheekada is getting longer and longer marka waan baxaa hada oo waan qayilaad tegi marka berri aa noo ballan ah Insha Allah.

Peace.

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IL CAPO   

Originally posted by OG_Girl:

lol@black jalbab... who told you we wear black bal.

 

Salam

i came all the way from Africa just to see you and you smack me?

and thanks for refusing to give me a lift back to my beloved Garissa :(:(:( .

 

i was going to come to Kuwait with Adeero MOTI but i don't think i can handle another smack so i rather stay back in my Garissa than come all the way to Kuwait just to be punched in the face like if i was a punching bag, what if you brake my nose?

Peace.

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nuune   

loool@Il-Capo, sxbkiis niikiska waa sheyga kaliya aan ku noolahay,marka hala yaabin jeeska qoobks ciyaarka, dookh malihi ani, ani iyo naag aragti aa naga dhaxeeso inaan ku dhaho maa rabtaa kakac waraa waxaas ma jiraanee, nuune waa shiiq tuujiye weydii, shiixa waraada.

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posted by il-capo

"Let me introduce you to some of the girls that I roll with" Raula says.

 

"Roll? What do you mean by that? I didn't know people rolled" I argue.

 

Raula, sensing that her slang is bit too much for me calms me down by saying.

 

"Ohh, Sorry, I meant the girls that I am friendly with"

 

"Now that I can understand"I say with a delight.

 

LooooooooL

 

After a while a guy comes out and let me tell you, if fashion police got hold of that guy I am sure they would have sentenced him to life without a parole, in other words this guy made Andre 3000 from Outkast and the Black Eyed Peas look fashion guru.

LoooooooL

 

"So how do you like it here" asks Last-Princess.

 

"I like the free drinks and snacks" I reply.

 

"Actually I was referring to the country not the food" says Last-Princess.

 

"Oooh, well, if you are asking me would I like to remain in this country my answer is simple and it is NO because I love Africa and besides my Malaika lives there" I say.

LooooooooL

 

I see two girls standing at the balcony, they are covered from head to toe with black Jalabeeb and one of them seemed to be encouraging the other with some words that I have never ever head before
but they sound like this "Ya Tacban, ya ghurab, ya xabeeb, ya baqeel, ya dig dam, ya qarboosh, ya faras, ya xuux and ya dacas, ya dixiin"
now I have never ever heard such language so I didn't know what to make of it.

LooooooooooL walaahi this brought tears to my eyes... :D:D

 

asxantu

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Tuujiye   

Checkmate me too man....YAA DACAS, YAA XUUX...looooooooooooool caadi ma aha ilcapo..waraa suju saaxiib nin kaan nuune la dhaho dooq malaha ee waa ku tuugaa u raadi bajaq niikiska qatar ku ah haka tirtirtee..lol..midoo xaarin camal u luxeyso....

 

 

wareer badanaa!!!

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Wiilo   

"This is MOMBASA-Queen our own Coast pride, this is SisSade, our own Kiambu Pride and last but not least this is my mlendo twin Wiilo"

 

 

IL_CAPO dear that was GREAT story thanks.......

 

 

Go fiugre:..........

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Salma   

Originally posted by OG_Girl:

lol@black jalbab... who told you we wear black bal.

 

Salam

I guess he is mixing between the Cabayad and da Jelbaaab :D

 

Ilcapo: U put me in the right place "The Balcony, I hope the weather was good" with da right person "OG-G". Probably we were discussing the Middle East Issues he3 he3 he3.

 

Merci Monsieur Capo smile.gif

 

Salam

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