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Conspiracy

You been in london way too long if you

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1. You say "the City" and expect everyone to know which part of town youare talking about.

 

2. You have never been to The Tower or Madame Tussauds but love Brighton.

 

3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Shepherds Bush to Elephant & Castle at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Dorset on a map.

 

4. Hookers and the homeless are invisible.

 

5. You step over people who collapse on the Tube.

 

6. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.

 

7. You've considered stabbing someone.

 

8. Your door has more than three locks

 

9. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

 

10. You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a garden.

 

11. You consider Essex the "countryside"

 

12. You think Hyde Park is "nature"

 

13. You're paying £1,200 a month for a studio the size of a walk-in wardrobe and you think it's a "bargain".

 

14. Shopping in suburban supermarkets and shopping malls gives you a severe attack of agoraphobia

 

15. You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the UK pay in rent

 

 

16. You actually take fashion seriously.

 

17. The UK west of Heathrow is still theoretical to you.

 

18. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

 

19. Your idea of personal space is no one actually physically standing on you.

 

20. GBP50 worth of groceries fit in one plastic bag.

 

21. You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.

 

22. You don't hear sirens anymore.

 

23. You've mentally blocked out all thoughts of the city's air/water quality and what it's doing to your insides.

 

24. You live in a building with a larger population than most towns.

 

25. Your cleaner is Portuguese, your grocer is Somali, your butcher is halal, your deli man is Israeli, your landlord is Italian, your laundry guy is Philippino, your bartender is Australian, your favourite diner owner is Greek, the watch seller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was African, your newsagent is Indian and your local English chippie owner is Turkish.

 

26. You wouldn't want to live anywhere else until you get married.

 

27. You roll your eyes and say 'tsk' at the news that someone has thrown himself under a tube train.

 

28. Your day is ruined if you don't get a copy of Metro on the way to work.

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N.O.R.F   

25. Your cleaner is Portuguese, your grocer is Somali, your butcher is halal, your deli man is Israeli, your landlord is Italian, your laundry guy is Philippino, your bartender is Australian, your favourite diner owner is Greek, the watch seller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was African, your newsagent is Indian and your local English chippie owner is Turkish.

lol

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Yeniceri   

Originally posted by Conspiracy.:

5. You step over people who collapse on
the Tube
.

 

13. You're paying £1,200 a month for a studio the size of a walk-in wardrobe and you think it's a "bargain".

 

19. Your idea of personal space is no one actually physically standing on you.

 

24. You live in a building with a larger population than most towns.

 

LOL That's a good one. The jokes about "space" are quite funny. London is just crammed in every which way, period.

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Viking   

Originally posted by Conspiracy.:

22. You don't hear sirens anymore.

The sirens seem to have gone silent just after a couple of years :eek:

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-Lily-   

25. Your cleaner is Portuguese, your grocer is Somali, your butcher is halal, your deli man is Israeli, your landlord is Italian, your laundry guy is Philippino, your bartender is Australian, your favourite diner owner is Greek, the watch seller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was African, your newsagent is Indian and your local English chippie owner is Turkish.

 

LoL, thats so true and what I love about London.

 

Again, very true: 26. You wouldn't want to live anywhere else until you get married.

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Even after marriage i would wanna live here .. unless an islamic country ...

 

London, streets paved with Gold ... is soooo true cause after a while that gum does turn goldish kind of clolur and roack hard.

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Sayyid   

Jibis, I agree with you 100%, the UK sucks! Why would people praise this bloody country, I don't know why.

 

The only good thing about is that one can do business without problems! On the other hand the city has so much people from so many different culture's it's amazing!

 

That's why I put my money and love down for the UK, however if you stay to long, you might do yourself some real and incureable damage!

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Baluug   

Originally posted by MR ORGILAQE:

UK sucks. You need to come to a real country like Canada.

 

Jibis what is in Canad except Moose and maple syrup?.Gloves are off now!

You forgot about the ice. And igloos, and our daily treks to hunt seals for their blubber :D

But seriously, Canada is a great place to live, if you can handle the odd snowstorm.....

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ANWAR   

Originally posted by Northerner:

quote: 25. Your cleaner is Portuguese, your grocer is Somali, your butcher is halal, your deli man is Israeli, your landlord is Italian, your laundry guy is Philippino, your bartender is Australian, your favourite diner owner is Greek, the watch seller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was African, your newsagent is Indian and your local English chippie owner is Turkish.

lol
HEHEHEHEHHHEHEEHEEHEHHEHEHEHEH

:D:D:D

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London is soo small, when you ride in the so called "tubes" you enjoy the smell body odor all the way towards your place of employment..i heard

 

Also dudes are styling with that steve urkel cars that be crashin every luuq!. kix kix kix

 

is this true :D

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