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Little Piggies

Dis here little pig jet ta market;

Dis here little pig be layin back in da cut;

Dis here little pig had roast beef;

Dis here little pig had jack sh*t;

Dis here little pig said, "Wee, wee!

ah can't find muh ma ****in way home

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Ah done pledges allegiance

to da Flag

o' da United States

o' America

an' ta da Republic

fo' which it stands,

one Nation, Beneaf God,


wiff liberty an'

justice fo' all.



I pledge allegiance

to the Flag

of the United States

of America

and to the Republic

for which it stands,

one Nation, Under God,


with liberty

and justice for all.

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The Clinton apology speech,


Good evening. (What's up).


This afternoon in this room, from this chair, Itestified before the Office of Independent Counseland the grand jury. (Today at my crib these suckers

and playa-haters started grillin' me).


I answered their questions truthfully, includingquestions about my private life, questions no

American citizen would ever want to answer.

(They started frontin'about my game and asking

all kinds of foul shit).


Still, I must take complete responsibility for

all my actions, both public and private.

And that is why I am speaking to you tonight.

(I'm tired of these haters throwing salt in

my game. I'm going to let y'all know my Mackin

style tonight).


As you know, in a deposition in January, I was

asked questions about my relationship with

Monica Lewinsky. While my answers were legally

accurate, I did not volunteer information.

(Awhile back, you nosy mother ******s wanted

to know if I was hittin'ho-*** Monica's skins.

You did not have any video, so if you want to

believe a 10 ho, then oh well).


Indeed, I did have a relationship with Ms.Lewinsky that was not appropriate. In fact,

it was wrong. It constituted a critical lapse

in judgment and a personal failure on my part

for which I am solely and completely

responsible. (Yeah, I was hittin' that dime

dropping *****! She was only sucking my jimmiethough. I was ****** for messing with a young

big-mouthed skank........, but don't hate me

because I'm a playa).


But I told the grand jury today and I say to

you now that at no time did i ask anyone to

lie, to hide or destroy evidence. (Outside

of that shit I told punk-*** AG (Al Gore)

to put on gay-*** Starr, Monica and hersnitching friend, I was chill the whole time).


I can only tell you I was motivated by many

factors. First, by a desire to protect myself

from the embarrassment of my own conduct.

(Man look,I heard she was down with what ever.

She wasn't all that but I plannedto pimp her

around to my boyz in the Senate).


The independent counsel investigation moved on

to my staff and friends, then into my private

life. And now the investigation itself is

under investigation. (Those haters started

sweatin' my homeys and my peeps. I got real

pissed when they tried to make me look like

I'm not real or something. As a matter of

fact their shady asses are on the take anyway).


This has gone on too long, cost too much and

hurt too many innocent people. (Tryin' to hit

me they wasted a lot of Cheddar and pissed off

my Crew).


Nothing is more important to me personally.

But it is private, and I intend to reclaim my

family life for my family. It's nobody's

business but ours. (I'm a pimp and playa and

I'm going to be one! Get some business'.

Hillary is chill because I got more than

enough White Water dirt on her *** , that

will get her sent up before I'm outta here).


It is time to stop the pursuit of personal

destruction and the prying into private lifeandget on with our national life. (Quit

harassing me because I'm going to Flossregardless. Just in case y'all forgot untilyou chumps ax me I'm still the shit!)


Now it is time - in fact, it is past time- to move on. (**** all y'all, I don'tgive a **** !)

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`Twas Da Night Befo` Christmas


Twas da night befo' Christmas and all in the hood

Not a homie was stirring cuz it was all good

The tube socks was hung on the window sill

and we all had smiles up on our grill


Mookie and BeBe was snug in the crib

in the back bedroom cuz that's how we live

and moms in her do-rag and me with my nine

had just gotten busy cuz girlfriend is fine


All of a sudden a lowrider rolled by

Bumpin phat beats cuz the system's fly

I bounced to the window at a quarter pas'

Bout ready to pop a cap in somebody's--

well anyway


I yelled to my lady, Yo peep this!

She said, Stop frontin just mind yo' bidness

I said, for real doe, come check dis out

We weren't even buggin, no worries, no doubt


Cuz bumpin an thumpin' from around da way

Was Santa, 8 reindeer and a sleigh

Da beats was kickin, da ride was phat

I said, Yo red Dawg, you all that!


He threw up a sign and yelled to his boyz,

"Ay yo, give it up, let's make some noise!

To the top of the projects and across the strip mall,

We gots ta go, I got a booty call!"


He pulled up his ride on the top a da roof

and sippin on a 40, he busted a move

I yelled up to Santa, "Yo ain't got no stack!"

he said, "Damn homie, deese projects is wack!


But don't worry black, cuz I gots da skillz

I learnt back when I hadda pay da billz."

Out from his bag he pulled 3 small tings

a credit card, a knife, and a bobby pin.


he slid down the fire escape smoove as a cat

and busted the window with a b-ball bat

I said, "Whassup, Santa? Whydya bust my place?"

he said,"You best get on up out my face!"


His threads was all leatha, his chains was all gold

His sneaks was Puma and they was 5 years old

He dropped down the duffle, Clippers logo on the side

Santa broke out da loot and my mouf popped open wide.


A wink of his eye and a shine off his god toof

He cabbage patched his way back onto the roof

He jumped in his hooptie with rims made of chrome

To tap that booty waitin at home


and all I heard as he cruised outta sight

was a loud and hearty.....


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Baa, Baa, Black Sheep



Baa, baa, black sheep,

Have you any wool?

Yes sir, yes sir,

Three bags full;

One for the master,

And one for the dame,

And one for the little boy

Who lives down the lane.



Yo! Yo! Ebony Sheep,

Got some wool?

Yea man, yea man,

Three dim bags done full;

One be fo da masta,

And one be fo yo mama,

An one be fo da little homey

dat libs down da screet.

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