Application for Permission to Date My Daughter

[underdog]

Application for Permission to Date My Daughter

 

Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, school history, job history, ancestral lineage, DMV printout, and a current medical report from your doctor.

 

Name: ____________________________________________________________

 

 

Home Address: ____________________________________________________

 

 

City: _______________ State: _______________ Zip: ____________

 

 

Date of Birth: __________ Height: __________ Weight: _________

 

 

Social Security # ____-___-_____ Drivers License # _______________

 

 

IQ: _______ GPA: _______

 

 

Boy Scout Rank and Badges: _______________________________________

 

 

Do you have ONE male and ONE female parent? (Circle One)Yes No

If NO, please explain:

______________________________________________________________

 

 

Number of years they have been married: _____________________

 

 

If less than your age, explain:

______________________________________________________________

 

 

Do you own a van?Yes No

Do you own a truck with oversized tires?Yes No

Do you own a waterbed?Yes No

Do you own a pickup with a mattress in the back?Yes No

Do you own a condom(s)?Yes No

Do you own any Pornography?Yes No

Do you have an earring, nose ring, or a belly button ring?Yes No

Do you have a tattoo?Yes No

(If you answered YES to any of the above questions, discontinue application and leave the premises immediately.)

 

 

In 50 words or less, what does late mean to you?

 

 

In 50 words or less, what does don't touch my daughter, mean to you?

 

 

In 50 words or less, what does abstinence mean to you?

 

 

Name of the Church you attend: ____________________________________

 

 

How often do you attend: _________________________________________

 

 

When would be the best time to interview your:

Mother? _______________

Father? _______________

Priest? _______________

Parole Officer? _______

 

 

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely; all answers

are confidential.

 

 

1. If I were shot, the last place I would want to be shot would be:

____________________________________________________________

 

 

2. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

____________________________________________________________

 

 

3. A woman's place is in the: ________________________________

 

 

4. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

____________________________________________________________

 

 

5. When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is:

____________________________________________________________

 

 

Note: If answer #5 begins with T or A, discontinue filling out this appliction, leave the premises at once. (Keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)

 

 

What do you want to do if you grow up? _________________________

 

 

What is the current going rate of a hotel room? ________________

 

 

Condoms come in packages of (circle one)

A. 3

B. 6

C. 9

D. 12

E. All of the above

How do you know? ___________________________________________

 

 

I swear that all information supplied above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, dismemberment, native american ant torture, crucifixion, electrocution, chinese water torture, red hot pokers, and hillary clinton kiss torture.

 

 

____________________________________________

Signature (that means sign your name, moron)

 

 

Thank you for your interest.

 

 

Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.

Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury).

If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing black shirts and white ties carrying violin cases

(you might want to watch your back).

 

 

Have a nice day.

[Ariadne]

lol what do you want to be if you grow up tee hee

[Captivating_SouL]

It's cute walaahi...but only if people in actuality did that.

 

*1

/***

[Mujahida]

lol, That made me laugh. One Heck of a Dad I'd say.

 

 

2. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: loooooooooooool,

UnderDod that quite funny

[Keeping Faith]

Do you own a van?Yes No

Do you own a truck with oversized tires?Yes No

Do you own a waterbed?Yes No

Do you own a pickup with a mattress in the back?Yes No

Do you own a condom(s)?Yes No

Do you own any Pornography?Yes No

Do you have an earring, nose ring, or a belly button ring?Yes No

Do you have a tattoo?Yes No

(If you answered YES to any of the above questions, discontinue application and leave the premises immediately.)

loool@discontinue